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Lance Lynn signing way better than “The Shape of Water”

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What the hell even is that movie? I mean, it’s good, but I have questions.

Chicago Cubs v St Louis Cardinals
It’s almost like he has a fin?
Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images

After running errands yesterday morning, getting home and putting everything away, I settled down to watch the most recent Best Picture of the Year from the Oscars, “The Shape of Water.”

Before I could start the movie, the Twins signed Lance Lynn.

Lance Lynn is a six year Major League veteran for the St. Louis Cardinals. He holds a career 3.38 ERA over 977.2 innings, which is pretty good. MLB Trade Rumors rated him the ninth best free agent of the offseason. The Twins tried to get him for $10 million a year a little earlier this week, but I guess that extra $2 million sweetened the pot. Don’t ask me — I’m a blogger. I can’t tell the difference between my millions of dollars.

She most definitely fucks the fish in the movie, but is very tastefully done. It’s actually a great and beautiful movie in many ways. Really. Even I kinda want to get into the bathtub with the fish? Maybe? It’s just a good movie — but Get Out was better. So was Dunkirk. If you wrote off Dunkirk as just a war movie, you made a mistake. I don’t think I will ever forget the climax of that movie in my entire life.

But the Lance Lynn signing? Even better. God damn love it. $12 million for one year? MLB Trade Rumors had estimated him at four-years $56 million. A god damn steal.

But does she just live with the fish now? I don’t get it.