Welcome to Twinkie Town’s MLB team rankings! If you’re were wondering to yourself what Twins fans thought of every team in baseball, you’re in the right place.

A month or two back I asked Twins fans on this site to rank your favorite baseball teams, first to last. I used these rankings for a points system — favorite team got 30 points, second favorite got 29 points, etc. — and then added together all the fan post rankings. Our rules explicitly said you must rank all teams with no ties to be included, which was great because everyone followed that rule except user Can’t Read Good. So sorry, Can’t Read Good, but you... called it? I still included some of your quotes in this post, but you did not factor into the points.

We did a similar post to this for last year, 2017. The rankings have somewhat changed.

Overall, I got 25 responses from Twins fans this year, and added my own rankings. I included what Twins fans had to say about each team below.

Enjoy!

30. New York Yankees (82 points)

To put it lightly, Twins fucking hate the Yankees. In fact, despite there being more than double the number of total points to hand out this year, the Yankees managed to get only two more points than they did last year. Ouch.

What you had to say:

“No team needs to have Stanton and Judge that’s just stupid.” - BattleTheAttl

“If only there was a way to put the Yankees lower than 30th.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Screw this team, screw it’s management, and screw their monument park. Seriously, go look at monument park sometime. They talk about it like it’s special, but the artist doing the bronzes might be a little touched.” - Can’t Read Good

“Playoff misery and the annoying big brother we can’t beat (A-Rod, Jeter, Matsui, CHUCK KNOBLAUCH, Sabathia). Makes the Kubel grand slam off Mariano Rivera that much more satisfying.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“Jason Kubel’s grand slam off of Mariano Rivera is one of my favorite sports moments of my life.” - jgamble98

“Evil Empire - the worst fans in baseball. Worst post season opponent. My feelings are hurt!” - RoddStone

“I like Aaron Judge. There. I said it.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“The plot of an entire musical (Damn Yankees) was centered around the fact my favorite franchise was the comic foil of the Yankees. How could I not dislike them?” - TwinsFaninVT

“The team you love to hate; they’re the heel of baseball, and they play the role well. They are a one trick pony, but it’s a pretty good trick; throw money at it. Their fans are equally blunt. Admittedly, the game is probably better for their inclusion. Probably.” - Anton Mett

“The Yankees are the epitome of evil, the closest thing to Lucifer incarnate this world has known since the Biblical days of olde. In their ‘rebuilding’ year of 2017, they pistol whipped the Twins in the AL Wildcard game, went on to dupe a 22-straight game winning Indians team, and barely got defeated by an Astros team in the ALCS. THAT’S what rebuilding is to the Yankees. They’ve never had a 100 loss season as the Yankees (the NY Highlanders lost 102 in 1912). The last time they even finished under .500? Nineteen Ninety FUCKING Two. Their players are smug, pompous, and entitled. Their fans are conceited, arrogant, boastful, cocky, cocksure, full of themselves, self-important, swaggering, and vainglorious. They buy their championships with insufferable impunity, and they are the pinnacle of misplaced hubris and greed. When the Yankees win, puppies die and Republicans show up to vote in midterm elections.” - NoahRJ

29. White Sox (149 points)

Thanks to the long-standing rivalry with the Twins through much of the ‘00s, the White Sox came in as Twins fans’ second most hated team. Hawk Harrelson was an often mentioned subject, along with 2008’s Game 163, Ozzie Guillen, and former Twn AJ Pierzynski.

What you said:

“And you can take them off the board, YES!” - yoyohoratio

“Hawk Harrelson. Need I say more?” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“I just can’t stand them, from the players to the announcers.” - AirMcNairFan

“Obnoxious announcers (can Hawk Harrelson just retire already?), obnoxious fans and a lot of obnoxious players over the years.” - TwinsFaninVT

“The White Sox drive me nuts. I don’t know if it’s the A.J. Pierzynski fiasco or Ozzie Guillen’s annoying antics, but I can tell you one thing: that 2008 Game 163 should have been played at the Metrodome. Yes, I’m still salty.” - nickjohnson92

“Ozzie Guillen. AJ Pierzynksi. Game 163 (A).” - jgamble98

“You briefly remember that period where Morneau played for the White Sox? Nope. Neither do I. It’s definitely not his photo on baseball-reference. Don’t check it out. Save yourself the pain. Just trust me.” - NoahRJ

“I’m going to admit it, I kinda liked seeing A.J. go out and win a championship.” - Can’t Read Good

“Actually, I’ve always really liked their logo. I was pretty into them when I was 5. My dad rented an RV for a month that summer and we went on a trip to Mt. Rushmore and Yellowstone (and other places, this was 25 years ago), and in the middle of the road in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming, my mom spotted something small and black in the road. Rather than driving past it like any other piece of roadkill, we actually stopped and discovered that it was a White Sox hat, which I still have.” - Carl2562

“I liked AJ Pierzynski as a Twin and Ozzie Guillen as a player. I hated them both as White Sox. I also really miss our rivalry with them in the 00’s” - Hogan’s Hero

28. Tigers (231 points)

For coming in as the third most hated team, Twins fans actually expressed a good bit of respect and remorse for the Tigers’ recent great run that still failed to bring them a World Series. It didn’t stop Twins fans from dancing on their grave, though.

What you had to say:

“For a while, they felt like the Yankees of the AL Central.” - BattleTheAttl

“They would be lower but I feel bad for them because they’re kinda bad.” - Bat-Boy

“Those dominant rotations they put together were great, and it’s kind of sad they never won a World Series with them.” - CG19

“Screw you very much for highjacking Torii’s last decent years, and for employing 4 hitters that only seem to hit HRs off of Twins pitching for the last 10 years.” - Can’t Read Good

“They deserved to be better, but they had their chance.” - Theo77

“Game 163 (B) is the number one sports moment in my life.” - jgamble98

“Miguel Cabrera can go pound sand.” - RoddStone

“The Tigers are entering a long period of hibernation, but I am still vengeful toward them for the last several years of them kicking the living shit out of us when those Twins teams were abysmal. Plus, they at one point had a starting rotation of Verlander, Price, Scherzer, and Porcello, who now have SIX Cy Young awards between them. The Twins haven’t had a single starting pitcher like that since the Johan Santana days, and the Tigers could just buy it. They could just buy it all.” - NoahRJ

“Nice ballpark, nice team colors. They tried so hard for so long, but even with the best pitcher and the best hitter, they couldn’t quite pull it off. They’re going to play terrible baseball forever now.” - Anton Mett

“They are one of the oldest teams in the league and how could anyone not like Ernie Harwell? And if ever there was a city that deserved to celebrate a World Series victory, it would be Detroit.” - TwinsFaninVT

“When I was a kid, my father and I were going to the store in his truck and we were listening to a Twins-Tigers game and the game ended in a Twins win. The announcer read off that the Tigers record was now 30-112 or something outrageous and I asked my father why their record was so bad and he told me, ‘Well, the Tigers are not a good team this year.’ So from that point, I felt bad for them. Then James McCann put a glove in Sano’s face.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“We seem to get the upper hand of them, but they still bug me. They always have a good lineup and for years just seemed able to shut down our lineup no matter who pitched. Nothing but respect for their franchise, but it makes 1987, 2006, and 2009 that much sweeter. Gardy should make this a friendlier rivalry.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“Only saving grace is they provided the heel for the greatest Gary Gaetti moments - and Justin Verlander. Thank you!” - yoyohoratio

27. Angels (259 points)

Jealously and awe of Mike Trout. Jealously of Shohei Ohtani. The stupid long-ass name. Oh, and that damn rally monkey. These things combined with an overall lack of enthusiasm about the team from anyone put the Angels pretty low on the list.

What you had to say:

“The name is way too long.” - Bat-Boy

“California? LA? Anaheim? Make up your minds!” - Theo77

“Mike Trout is pretty good.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Jealous of their money, and Mike Trout.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Jealous of Trout and damn you ‘02.” - RoddStone

“I wanted Shohei Otani.” - Mablaba

“I don’t really hate the Angels. They have had some good teams with great players, but also that rally monkey.” - Carl2562

“I’m still bitter about the Ohtani signing. Plus, they’re wasting Mike Trout’s prime and that peeves me.” - NoahRJ

“Angels in the Outfield was a terrible movie, but at least they got one thing right: It would take an act of god himself to stop this embarrassment of a franchise from wasting the prime years of baseball Jesus.” - Can’t Read Good

“For what they did to the Twins in 2002 and that stupid rally monkey.” - gintzer

“The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim literally translates to ‘The The Angels Angels of Anaheim’. Just take that in. On the plus side, Trout and Ohtani. They would drop 10 spots easy if not for TrOutani.” - Anton Mett

“I still hold a grudge over the Carew trade. My inner five-year-old self has still yet to recover from that. I also hated how the national media seemed to be openly rooting for the Angels against the Twins in the 2002 ALCS . Mike Scioscia also might be one of the whiniest managers in baseball.” - TwinsFaninVT

“As opposed to other Twins playoff opponents mentioned about, I never liked the Angels. And they stole Gary Gaetti and Torii Hunter - ok, Twins didn’t really try to keep them, but whatever.” - yoyohoratio

26. Braves (261 points)

Responses about the Braves seemed to be a mix of hatred and respect, mostly connected to the 1991 World Series. Oh, and the 1998 NFC Championship Game — because some things are too bad not to spill over.

What you had to say:

“It’s been 25 years, Gant should’ve slid, GET OVER IT!” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“No playoff opponent annoyed me more than the Braves. Bobby Cox, David Justice, Tomahawk chop, Jane Fonda, the 98 NFC Championship game, oh, wait, nevermind.” - yoyohoratio

“I watched a lot of Braves game when they were on TBS at a younger age.” - AirMcNairFan

“It really bothered me when Skip Caray announced that the Expos should move due to low attendance in the early 2000s, but seemed to gloss over the horrible crowds the Braves used to draw prior to the nineties.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Meh baseball. Kind of racist name & chants.” - Anton Mett

“See you in the 2020 World Series where Kennys Vargas (definitely will not) lift Ender Inciarte off first base.” - NoahRJ

“Thanks for ‘91.” - RoddStone

“This will be an exciting young team to watch for quite a few years. Maybe we’re headed toward a ’91 rematch (which will go the same way, of course).” - nickjohnson92

“Cast off our beloved Big Sexy with no remorse.” - jgamble98

“They should get a new nickname.” - Theo77

“My hatred for Atlanta is connected to the Gary Anderson meltdown spoiling the Vikings dream season in 1998 and their run to the Super Bowl. Good thing the Twins beat the Braves in the greatest World Series of all-time in 1991.” - gintzer

“They just won’t let go of the Ron Gant thing, even though they’ve won a World Series more recently than the Twins.” - Carl2562

“Tom Glavine was and still is my all-time favorite player. As the Twins floundered in the mid and late ‘90’s the Braves were a team that I could still cheer for in October. One of my all-time favorite moments was when Francisco Cabrera scored the winning run in the NLCS.” - Hogan’s Hero

“I hate the Tomahawk chop.” - Bat-Boy

25. Marlins (283 points)

The common complaint about the Marlins was what you’d probably expect: the ownership. The intense hatred for the Yankees didn’t help either, with Derek Jeter now running things in Miami and trading Giancarlo Stanton to the Yankees. The team’s colors also seemed to be a very polarizing subject.

What you had to say:

“I don’t have anything against the team, per se, but their ownership, old and new, reminds me of the Cleveland Browns.” - TeamCrazyMatt

“Weirdos.” - Bat-Boy

“They have a cool logo.” - BattleTheAttl

“They fired Mike Redmond!!” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“They were much, much higher on my list in 1997 and in 2003 but their ugly ballpark and the fact that they are the worst run organization moved them down. The trade of Stanton to the Yankees moved them down farther.” - Hogan’s Hero

“Jeter was bound to fail at something eventually.” - Mablaba

“That offense with Stanton, Yelich, Ozuna, Bour, Gordon, and Realmuto was fun. It makes me sad to see them gutted.” - CG19

“Seriously, why does this team exist? Bloat payroll every 10 years to make a run, not a fan in sight, even in the playoffs, now we have to deal with pictures of Derek Jeter running around Miami.” - Can’t Read Good

“I hate their business model.” - Theo77

“Jeter EWW. Feel for the fans though.” - jgamble98

“I can’t wait for this team to be relevant again. Though Jeter is not making a popular decision, it’s the right one. He could get better deals, however. Also, the team’s color scheme is fantastic!” - nickjohnson92

“Loved Gary Sheffield when he was there and i was a kid.” - RoddStone

“They traded the reigning NL MVP to the Yankees for a fucking salary dump. #YeahJeets” - NoahRJ

“Systematically makes MLB worse. Every bad practice that happens in MLB happens here. Bad faith player deals; check. Bad faith stadium deals; check. Bad faith management deals; check. Bad parity; check. Bad trades; DOUBLE CHECK. Most teams you can ignore, but this team is trying to actively ruin baseball for everyone.” - Anton Mett

“The Cincinnati Reds of Florida.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

24. Indians (290 points)

Honestly, I was really, really surprised this team wasn’t lower in the rankings. The Indians are the Twins’ biggest only division rival now, but fans still have fond memories of their likable players — particularly Jim Thome.

Of course, there was one overwhelming obvious reason why those likable players couldn’t get them higher on the list...

What you had to say:

“What’s with the racist mascot?” - Bat-Boy

“I have a bit of a soft spot for teams that haven’t won the World Series in decades. Then again, they are a division rival. Then again, they gave us Jim Thome.” - Carl2562

“Remember Wild Thing? What about Willie Mays Hays? I did enjoy watching the 95 team in the playoffs, and the Twins later dalliance with Jim Thome solidified this ranking for me. I do not care for the current Indians roster at all, this is merely a historical and movie based ranking. This is like giving the Indians the lifetime achievement award even though they haven’t achieved anything.” - Can’t Read Good

“Division rival that needs to get rid of that racist team name.” - gintzer

“They should REALLY get a new mascot.” - Theo77

“I’ll take your racist Braves name and raise you a Chief Wahoo. Seriously, you’ve got a young, fun, talented team, a smart front office, Drew Cary and the best part of Charley Sheen’s career. Change your stupid name and your stupid stupid logo!” - Anton Mett

“Politically incorrect logo aside, they are not an easy team to dislike. With the exception of Albert Belle, I have always liked a lot of their players.” - TwinsFaninVT

“The Indians haven’t done anything to hurt me. Yeah, they’re in the AL Central with the Twins, but they’re not terrible people except for their nickname.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“Hate losing to them, but never disliked the players (except Albert Belle), but Lofton, Thome, Gonzalez, Vizquel all made up for it.” - yoyohoratio

23. Rangers (298 points)

The Rangers being in the bottom third of teams on the list has more to do with apathy than anything else. Twins fans did’t seem to particularly hate them, but none of the respondents actually liked them either.

What you had to say:

“Again, more of a complete lack of feeling - maybe still bitter about the Gary Ward trade?? Yikes, that’s not much to be upset about, but I was young.” - yoyohoratio

“They seem to get talented players but then organize them as poorly as possible, like playing 4 good second basemen at once.” - Anton Mett

“They gave us Thad Levine, but they also gave us eight years of George W. Bush. That one’s not a wash; sorry guys.” - NoahRJ

“I’m not quite sure why, but the Rangers get on my nerves. Like, a lot.” - nickjohnson92

“I hate the Cardinals and Giants, and the Rangers gave them both World Series wins.” - CG19

“Dallas Stars fan so I casually follow the Rangers too.” - StanleyCupBoundStars [Editor’s Note: WTF? NORM GREEN SUCKS.]

22. Athletics (310 points)

Once upon a time, the Twins and the Athletics used to be in the same division. Back then, they used to be division rivals. Apparently, that hatred has continued to simmer on among older Twins fans, helped by bad playoff losses in the 2000s that sparked animosity among younger Twins fans. And never forget — the Twins beat Moneyball.

What you had to say:

“Remember the end of Moneyball? I do.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Hated them in the early 90’s, then again in the early 2000’s when they were the Twins competition.” - Hogan’s Hero

“Maybe they’ll get out of that S***hole of a stadium soon.” - Mablaba

“I’ve never really liked their uniforms, which is odd since I basically live in a green hoodie. Maybe it’s because it’s the same color scheme as the Packers?” - Carl2562

“They were the Twins main rival in the late 1980s/early 1990s so there is still some animosity from those days.” - gintzer

“Still not over ‘06.” - RoddStone

“Moneyball is a great movie, even though the A’s lost (oops), and the 2014 AL Wildcard game was pretty dope, even though the A’s lost. Turns out the A’s are our real rival, as we’ve played 85%+ of our games against them, but I don’t bear them any ill will, since I imagine we win the majority.” - NoahRJ

“Back in the 80s this used to be my least favorite team based on their divisional rivalry with the Twins and some of their obnoxious players like Jose Canseco.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Again, Green & Gold reminds me of Wisconsin - and the clock radio I broke when Aguilera gave up that home run to Eric Fox. I know, let it go.” - yoyohoratio

21. Giants (314 points)

Apparently, there are not a lot of Barry Bonds fans in the house... but a lot of people sure like At&T Park!

What you had to say:

“I like Buster Posey.” - Bat-Boy

“Barry Bonds is close to my least favorite player of all time.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“If it wasn’t for Barry Bonds they would be higher.” - Hogan’s Hero

“I’m disappointed the even years stopped.” - Mablaba

“Those 3 World Series wins in 5 years got me to hate them for too much success. Also, everyone uses Madison Bumgarner as their argument for no DH, so hating them is partly my hatred of the no DH rules.” - CG19

“I really enjoyed watching them dominate from 2010 through 2014. I also enjoy reading about the history of the game, and I read a book about the Giants teams from the turn of the century, with John McGraw and Christy Matthewson. I really enjoyed it so I feel a sort of connection to them that way.” - Carl2562

“If I’m being honest, I really enjoyed Barry Bonds’s big year. They really let us down by not winning this last odd yeared World Series.” - Can’t Read Good

“I like parity. The Giants have won too much lately. I also dislike Barry Bonds a lot. Those coupled with my fandom of other teams in their division drops them down further than nearly every other team.” - nickjohnson92

“They have to make you a little mad because they weren’t the best team by a loooooooong shot when they won the WS in 2010, ‘12, or ‘14, and anytime the fanbase gets that many wins in such a short period of time, they’re bound to become insufferable (see: Red Sox, Boston, and Yankees, New York).” - NoahRJ

“Great ballpark for TV. Good clubhouse. Play well regularly, but seem to have to work for it.” - Anton Mett

“Part of it has to do with the fact that San Francisco is one of my favorite cities. Another part of it has to do with the history of the franchise. A third part of it is their amazing stadium.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Another team with a great ballpark that would be fun to visit with a team that also needs to wear bright orange uniforms more often.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“Bonds, Bonds, Bonds, and feces-covered streets. Blah!” - yoyohoratio

20. Cardinals (327 points)

Twins fans seemed to be a bit divided on the Cardinals — some liked them for their success and fans (and midwest location), while others hated them for the same reasons. The two polarizing sides evened out to a low-to-mid-ish type ranking. The 1987 World Series was also a factor.

What you had to say:

“Beating them in 1987 was like beating a big brother to prove you belong.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“Defeated by Gary Gaetti et. al., and even though they were adversaries, still really liked the team. Later, was a big fan of Pujols as well. Also, briefly had Gary Gaetti on their team.” - yoyohoratio

“Midwestern team that seems to do everything right. Good logo, good baseball town, cool stadium and arc.” - Anton Mett

“Somehow they use the blood of their enemies (and the passwords of the Astros) to be competitive. Every. Fucking. Year. I don’t think the GM of the Cards even knows how to spell ‘rebuild’, much less execute one. Taking replacement level players, sprinkling illegal baseball dust on them, and turning them into 3+ WAR players year over year is getting kinda old, not gonna lie.” - NoahRJ

“Thanks for ‘87.” - RoddStone

“Dare I say that they win too much? I am happy they downed the Tiggers in ’06, but apart from that, I see this same team (with a new group of young players, of course) year after year. My brother’s annoying attachment to them drops them a bit more as well.” - nickjohnson92

“My girlfriend is a Cards fa- I mean they got Nick Punto a ring” - jgamble98

“We beat them in a great WS, and I still love their unis.” - Theo77

“Great franchise that does things the right way. If the Twins hadn’t beaten them in 1987 they would probably be more hated.” - gintzer

“Too much recent success and the media will hype them up literally every year.” - CG19

“Obnoxious Fans Galore.” - Mablaba

19. Rays (329 points)

It seems most Twins fans were apathetic about the Rays, and no one particularly liked them, leading to a low number of points. Lots of talk about their bad stadium and lackluster ownership, but some praise for them putting together some competitive years.

What you had to say:

“Their stadium looks cool too.” - BattleTheAttl

“uhh.. Evan Longoria?” - Bat-Boy

“I almost feel bad for them.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Their horrible stadium and lack of a fan base reflects my lack of excitement about them.” - Hogan’s Hero

“I like them as the small market team that never goes away.” - CG19

“I just can’t get into the Rays. They drafted Delmon Young.” - Carl2562

“Cool name, terrible stadium. Their club always seems to be fun to watch.” - gintzer

“Small-Market team having success in a dome? Sound familiar?” - jgamble98

“Terrible ballpark, and cheap ownership. But they’re smart and creative, and they aren’t embarrassing even though they play in a tough division. Cool logo(s), and have been better since they dropped the Devil in Devil Rays. Book “The Extra 2%” will give you appreciation for how far they’ve come. Plus if you wear Rays merch, it confuses everyone (even in Tampa).” - Anton Mett

“Trade us Chris Archer for a box of tissues and they will go to top 5.” - AirMcNairFan

“They always seem to beat us.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

18. Dodgers (333 points)

The Dodgers suffered largely for the same reason the Yankees did: too much money. Unlike the Yankees, however, the Dodgers don’t have any rings to show for it since becoming big time spenders. Though there was still a lot of bitterness over the 1965 World Series, there was a lot of respect for Vin Scully and the team’s history.

What you had to say:

“More money than God, but no Commissioner’s Trophy to show for it. Plus, Kershaw is a generational talent and you have to be a little grateful we almost never have to face him (except in the 2021 World Series). I don’t forgive the Dodgers for 1965, but we’ve won a WS more recently than them, so it’s hard to truly hate a team that can’t seal the deal.” - NoahRJ

“Out spends the Evil Empire but still not as evil.” - RoddStone

“Bay beats the ravine plus 1965 (That’s what you get Sandy!). Love the history of both teams though.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“I would have a better argument to have the Dodgers this high on the list if Vin Scully didn’t retire.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“In general, I’m just not a huge fan of sports franchises in Los Angeles. Irrational? Yes, but I can’t help it. I am, however, a huge fan of the Brooklyn-era Dodgers and Vin Scully.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Nobody should have that much money.” - Theo77

“Being born in Los Angeles, this Twins fan bleeds Dodger Blue. Growing up in the 1970s and 1980s watching the Garvey/Lopes/Russell/Cey Dodgers was a blast. Fernando-mania was unbelievable. Every season, the dream World Series matchup is Dodgers-Twins, with the Twins taking it in 7 games to avenge 1965.” - gintzer

“I hate this team. I’ve always disliked the Dodgers. I disliked them even more when they stopped the game for 18 minutes and forced the refs to take one of our hitters out of the game (which was bullshit).” - Can’t Read Good

“It’s easy to hate the Dodgers, but I have also read a lot about their history, so I feel somewhat of a connection to them that way. Much as I am mad about Sandy Koufax beating the Twins in game 7 of the 1965 World Series, I also admire him greatly.” - Carl2562

“$= :(“ - Mablaba

“They’re a superteam, they just sign anyone they want.” - Bat-Boy

“They’re a classic franchise. It helps that I was born well after 1965.” - TeamCrazyMatt

17. & 16 Reds (334 points) (tie)

Probably the pinnacle of apathy here among Twins fans.

What you had to say:

“I don’t like Joey Votto.” - Bat-Boy

“Red is my favorite color.” - BattleTheAttl

“No strong feelings.” - Hogan’s Hero

“At least you have Joey Votto.” - Mablaba

“Here’s my story about the Reds: I have a hard time describing the pride I feel when I think about 1987 and 1991. Just looking at those numbers makes me happy, they are special and I will pass on the legend of those two years to my children and their children. So I had always wondered what a Reds fan thought of the 1919 World Series. Obviously that’s the Black Sox Series, and the Reds were the team that technically won it. So I had the opportunity about ten years ago, to ask a Reds fan about that. I asked her what her thoughts or emotions were on that World Series, and she asked me: ‘did the Reds win that one?’” - Carl2562

“Nice dynasty in the 1970s. Pete Rose’s hustle was something I emulated when playing ball, too bad he threw it all away for nothing.” - gintzer

“Love Joey Votto. Very Minnesotan (besides not living here or being born here). I like reading about the Big Red Machine” - jgamble98

“It’s fun to say Cincinnati.” - RoddStone

“Joey Votto is a cool dude, but I literally couldn’t name anyone on their team outside of Cuet-oh, he’s gone? Well, Todd Fraz- oh, him too? Really? OK… Hmm, Chapm-ah, no, wait, never mind. I’ve got nothing.” - NoahRJ

“Named after laundry (originally Red Stockings), so their name isn’t a racial slur. Woot.” - Anton Mett

“This might be the most boring and generic baseball franchise around.” - TwinsFaninVT

“As I was putting this together, I started with the top of the list, then put my for-sure disliked teams at the bottom, followed by sorting by ballpark and kinda by uniforms and whatever. The last team to plug in was the Reds. So here they are, and I don’t think anyone knows they exist.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

17. & 16. Nationals (334 points) (tie)

By far the running theme among Twins fans on the Nationals? Montreal. Bryce Harper (and particularly his hair) also seemed to be a polarizing subject.

What you had to say:

“Great Park and a fun team to watch. They keep some history from the Twins days in Washington around the ballpark as well.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“I really dislike Bryce Harper. The Nationals should have been named the Senators (probably couldn’t have BUT STILL). Montreal should never have lost their team.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“Great pitching staff, even have an Expos hat somewhere.” - AirMcNairFan

“When I moved to northern New England, I started following the Montreal Expos as the ‘local’ team. The Expos/Nationals also had their minor league affiliate here in Vermont for several years, so we enjoyed watching a lot of those players progress to the big leagues.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Nothing really draws me to them culturally. Send them back to Canada where they belong.” - Anton Mett

“Death, taxes, and the Nationals blowing it in the NLDS. Serves ‘em right after what they pulled: ‘this team… was seduced by the United States of America. They ceased to be the Montreal Expos and ‘became’ the Washington Nationals. When that happened, the good men who were on your favorite Canadian baseball team were destroyed.’” - NoahRJ

“Bryce Harper’s Hair.” - RoddStone

“Man is this team annoying. Bryce Harper is one of my least favorite players due to how over-hyped and arrogant he is. Their lack of playoff success is becoming humorous to me. But the aspect of the Nationals that gets on my nerves the most is their habit of discarding many worthwhile managers solely because of lack of playoff success. Let these professionals have a little while and they’ll get it done! Additionally, this team belongs in Canada. Let Montreal have their team back!” - nickjohnson92

“RIP the Expos.” - jgamble98

“How cool would a WS in DC be?” - Theo77

“Nobody likes the federal government so the Nats lose points for playing in the cesspool that is Washington, D.C. Bryce Harper is cool.” - gintzer

“When I was in college, I would never miss student night at the Metrodome. I would drag all my friends to an indoor stadium on a gorgeous Minnesota summer evening to watch the Twins dominate at baseball. The only problem I had is that the people who made the schedules didn’t make any attempt to mix up the teams the Twins would play on those Wednesday nights, so I think 3 summers in a row we were ‘treated’ to Boof Bonser starting against the Washington Nationals, who at the time were really bad and uninteresting. I do feel for them though, their postseason ‘accomplishments’ basically make them the Twins of the NL.” - Carl2562

“Would be higher if they were still the Expos.” - Hogan’s Hero

“RIP Expos” - Bat-Boy

“I have a soft spot for the high hopes yet inevitable inept collapse of Washington sports teams. It mirrors the city so well.” - TeamCrazyMatt

15. Phillies (351 points)

All but a couple of the Twins fans who participated in this exercise made their lists before the NFC Championship game between the Eagles and the Vikings. Unsurprisingly, the Phillies took a dramatic nose-dive in the rankings among those who responded after the NFC Championship game.

What you had to say:

“Thank you for Vance Worley?” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“If John Kruk was still there they would be way higher on my list.” - Hogan’s Hero

“They aren’t lovable losers or a team that’s fun to watch, they’re just boring.” - CG19

“The Phillies were really good at the end of my college days, which is when I was actually able to watch baseball. I really enjoyed watching them field an entire team of All-Stars. I remember exactly where I was when Roy Halladay threw his perfect game. My single greatest regret in life is going to work one night when they called me in instead of having a date night with my then fiancee to watch a Phillies game. My dad had always told me that I should be willing to do whatever it takes to get my foot in the door and make a good impression so I can climb the corporate ladder, so when Target called saying they needed help, I told my wife-to-be that I was going to go in and make a good impression, rather than spend the evening with her on the rare occasion that she had agreed to watch a baseball game with me. We were already engaged, right? What did I have to lose? Roy Halladay threw a no-hitter that night. I heard about it over the walkies on the sales floor at a Target.” - Carl2562

“They were cooler in the ‘70s.” - Theo77

“Jim Thome playing in the field LOL” - jgamble98

“What the heck is a philly?” - RoddStone

“For some inexplicable reason, I always liked the Phillies’ uniforms from the late 70s through the mid 80s. And in spite of some of his tin-foil hat wearing conspiracies, Steve Carlton was always one of my favorite pitchers growing up.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Historically rude fans. Their unimaginative name makes the Twins name seem whimsical in comparison.” - Anton Mett [Editor’s Note: Anton wrote this before the Vikings lost the NFC Championship game, mind you.]

“Dilly, Dilly, get our butts kicked in Philly. Ok, different sport, but fans in Philadelphia do not deserve professional sports.” - yoyohoratio

“Eh. The loss to the Eagles must still be lurking in my head. Seriously though, I’ll take the Mets any day in this rivalry.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

14. Orioles (379 points)

Most Twins fans didn’t see to give two poops about this team either way, but Cal Ripken Jr. gave the little bump in the rankings.

What you had to say:

“Was at the dome for Ripken’s 3000th, but just never really cared for them.” - yoyohoratio

“Only reason I ever cared really about them was Ripken.” - AirMcNairFan

“We’ll chalk this up to D.C. area allegiance, but their high ranking is also based on the fact that I have seen a lot of Oriole games in Baltimore and games involving their minor league teams (Frederick Keys and Hagerstown Suns when visiting/living in the D.C. area and the Rochester Red Wings while I was in college in Western New York). I also appreciated the fact that a Maryland-raised guy named Cal Ripken, Jr. will always be the face of that franchise.” - TwinsFaninVT

“My kids pronounce them as ‘The Oreos’.” - Anton Mett

“The Baltimore oriole (Icterus galbula) is a small icterid blackbird common in eastern North America as a migratory breeding bird. It received its name from the resemblance of the male’s colors to those on the coat-of-arms of Lord Baltimore. Observations of interbreeding between the Baltimore oriole and the western Bullock’s oriole, Icterus bullockii, led to both being classified as a single species, called the northern oriole, from 1973 to 1995. Research by James Rising, a professor of zoology at the University of Toronto, and others showed that the two birds actually did not interbreed significantly.” - NoahRJ

“I’m a big Cal Ripken Jr. guy I guess.” - jgamble98

“I can think of nothing negative to say about the franchise. Earl Weaver was fun to watch argue with umps.” - gintzer

“Cal Ripken Jr. and Camden Yards.” - Can’t Read Good

“I did have a Cal Ripken Jr. poster on my wall when I was a kid.” - Carl2562

“I love how they load up on power hitters. Right now they’ve got Chris Davis, Mark Trumbo, Manny Machado, Jonathan School, Trey Mancini, and Adam Jones.” - CG19

“In the ‘Poorly run’ club” - Mablaba

“No real strong feelings one way or the other. I always liked Cal Ripken. They did end our winning streak in 1991, so that wasn’t cool” - Hogan’s Hero

13. Royals (380 points)

The Royals were much higher in our rankings last year, but it seems that glow from the World Series has worn off. Twins fans recognize this team is going to be bad again and welcome it with open arms.

What you had to day:

“Those playoff runs when they loaded up on speed were exciting, and it was fun to see them win after sucking for a while.” - CG19

“Long suffering, was no real threat for a long time to us and am happy to see them get their ring. Now its time for them to go back to being our punching bags” - Hogan’s Hero

“It’s gonna be fun to watch them suck for a while now.” - Mablaba

“It’s hard to hate the Royals, since they’re usually so bad (except the last few years). I just find them really uninteresting.” - Carl2562

“Screw this entire roster and all of their fans. I enjoyed pasting them in the division for 20 years in a row. That was cool.” - Can’t Read Good [Editor’s Note: For as harsh as this sounds, Can’t Read Good actually had the Royals ranked 12th.]

“They have always been a cute club that is hard to root against.” - gintzer

“Will they ever be good again?” - Theo77

“Ah, the first division rival. Given that I’m still a teen, it feels like they were so bad for so long, and I took pity. Their title in 2015 dropped them somewhat in my mind, but I still don’t have too much against them, hence their standing in the middle of the pack.” - nickjohnson92

“Perpetual underdog, typically non threatening.” - RoddStone

“Nice ballpark, nice team colors. They’re going to play terrible baseball forever now.” - Anton Mett

“Ah, the Royals. I rooted so hard for them in 2014, and they disappointed me. Then, I rooted so hard against them in 2015, and they disappointed me again. They’re the kind of rival I begrudgingly like and respect, and I can put them at #12 knowing they’re gonna be godawful for a while here.” - NoahRJ

“If nothing else, I like their stadium and their uniforms. I also have an affinity for a lot of the small-market teams.” - TwinsFaninVT

“They would be higher if they hadn’t won in 2015.” - AirMcNairFan

“Again, a Gary Gaetti team, but up here for other reasons - Frank White & George Brett - the whole Pine Tar lore and utter hatred of the Yankees. What’s not to love? And recent success without relying on the HR? Love it. Also gotta love waterfalls in the outfield.” - yoyohoratio

“I rooted for this team when they made the playoffs and was happy when they won the World Series. They turned into cocky jerks. Now they get to rebuild again. Serves them right.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

12. Mets (383 points)

Y’all danced on a funny double edge sword with the Mets: some of you hated them for being physically close to the Yankees, while others loved them for being in NYC but not the Yankees. What really pushed the Mets up this high was the comical dysfunction, which has always somehow seemed to actually help the team from Queens.

What you had to say:

“Yankee wannabes, but they’re lovable because they’re the Mets.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“Baseball’s answer to the Keystone Cops. I can’t dislike them because they are such a comically bumbling franchise and have unintentionally provided hours of entertainment over the years.” - TwinsFaninVT

“My mother has an obsession with Target (we don’t have one in our hometown) and when we went out of town for an appointment when I was a kid, we stopped at a Target. We got separated and I don’t think she noticed until she got to the checkouts and they called my name on the intercom to let me know my mother was leaving. The Mets seem like a kid that New York lost in a Target store.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“I want to like this team. I like their colors, their name, they’re a NY team that’s not the Yankees. But they’re bad, just so bad. They’re run poorly, they’re cheap, their decent players are always hurt. Sorry John Stewart, but you know it’s true.” - Anton Mett

“Half my family lives in Upstate New York, and they’re all Yankees fans. It bugs them to no end that I root for the Mets, I like the Mets for being the ultimate underdog in their own city, and I share a name with their ace pitcher. Plus, David Wright is basically the NL Joe Mauer. I forgive them for breaking Johan Santana.” - NoahRJ

“Only team that doesn’t bother me in New York” - RoddStone

“I feel for the Mets. It would suck to be paired in a city with such a bully of a team. In reality, I had a friend named David who really loved the Mets. The key word being ‘had’. I can do without his beloved Mets in my life too, thanks.” - nickjohnson92

“Their 1986 team was unforgettable with Gooden, Strawberry, etc. Great World Series that year with the Buckner error. I also have always felt that I would have enjoyed watching the Amazin’ Mets grab the 1969 World Series if I had been alive at the time.” - gintzer

“I live in New York, and Citi Field is a nice little place to take in a ball game. Even if the Twins aren’t playing in Queens, I try to get a cheap ticket and go once a year. The Mets themselves are of no consequence to me, but I did see Noah Syndergaards home debut, and that was pretty cool. Plus they were smart enough to sign Cuddy for a while, and who doesn’t love Cuddy?” - Can’t Read Good

“Any rival of the Yankees is good.” - Mablaba

“Bartolo Colon used to play for them.” - Bat-Boy

“The team easiest to make fun of.” - TeamCrazyMatt

11. Red Sox (395 points)

David Ortiz was a polarizing subject here — people either still loved him, or hated him for talking bad about the Twins (and it seems more of the latter). Ultimately, hatred of the Yankees and love of Fenway Park got the Red Sox this high, despite the extreme negative opinion of Boston sports fans.

What you had to say:

“In the 50-50 Boston-New York battle that is the state of Connecticut, I choose Boston every time.” - TeamCrazyMatt

“I’ve been to Boston and I saw Fenway and it was pretty sick.” - BattleTheAttl

“Would probably be lower, but screw the Yankees.” - jgamble98

“I currently live about an hour from Fenway so unfortunately they have started to creep up my list.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Became a fan in 2003 when my dad and I attended a game at Fenway. A game in which Pedro Martinez pitched. I loved the stadium and the atmosphere. It just so happened that on that night the Yankees got no-hit, which was announced to the Sox fans during the game. I think the crowd cheered more for the no-hitter then the Red Sox winning the game that night.” - Hogan’s Hero

“Boston is one of my favorite places in the world to visit, plus Big Papi. Nuff said” - Mablaba

“My only issue with unbalanced schedules is that every Yankees-Red Sox game is on ESPN, and I don’t care about either of the teams or their spoiled fans.” - CG19

“They really just rub me the wrong way. Maybe it’s all because of the things David Ortiz says about the Twins, and will apparently continue to say until he dies.” - Carl2562

“This one was tough for me, because with the advent of a few more World Series wins and five Super Bowls, Boston fans have become real assholes. BUT... that 2004 comeback from down 3-0 to win a 7 game series is the best thing that could ever happen to a Twins fan, because F#*@ the Yankees!” - Can’t Read Good

“They became annoying and their fans obnoxious after they finally started winning again.” - gintzer

“‘Cause I dream of watching a ballgame at Fenway.” - Theo77

“Disclaimer that I’m not old enough to remember when Ortiz was on the Twins. Yes, the Twins screwed that one up, but I can’t blame Ortiz or the Sox for his success in Boston. Also, I’ve got to show some support for the team that has the best chance against they-who-shall-not-be-named.” - nickjohnson92

“I used to like the Red Sox, before I realized they were almost as annoying & insufferable as the Yankees. Their fans *might* be worse in some ways, but I’m not prepared to make that argument here (see my upcoming essay, ‘Red Sox, Blue Sox, Shred Sox, Boo Sox’). Three World Series wins from 2004 (c-c-c-curse breaker) through 2013 is fine, but the shit talking David Ortiz did about the Twins and the fans? Not so much.” - NoahRJ

“The team is interesting, but the fans are terrible. Kind of cancels out. The field is fantastic though.” - Anton Mett

“Having lived in New England for as long as I have, it has become hard not to dislike the Red Sox. I used to be okay with the Red Sox, but once they won a few championships, their fanbase became obnoxious to the point of being indistinguishable from Yankee fans. And watching a game on NESN is like watching a 3.5 hour infomercial.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Loved watching Pedro Martinez pitch” - AirMcNairFan

“Pedro Martinez, Big Papi - and I’ll admit, when I made this list with Boston at #4, I had forgotten Gary Gaetti ended his career with a short stint with the Red Sox.” - yoyohoratio

“Beautiful old-time park. Saw Cuddy hit 2 hrs in a game there when he was with Colorado. Good team and can confirm, THEY ARE NOT THE YANKEES.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

10. Cubs (397 points)

Given the Cubs’ long history in the midwest and proximity to the Twins, these guys ended up being popular as sort of a family tradition. Wrigley field and the recent World Series win also played a part, though some are already growing sick of then.

What you had to say:

“My grandpas favorite team.” - AirMcNairFan

“If it were still 2016, the Cubs would easily be in the top 5 (bandwagon all the way). Now they’re old news, and dropping in my standings by the year, even if they remain in the top half.” - nickjohnson92

“I watched them on WGN growing up and went to college in Chicago. Wrigley is my 2nd home behind Target Field. They were an easy 2nd place. I had tickets when they won the nl pennant in 2016 and yes, I was among the crowd at Wrigley Field during game 7 of the 2016 world series. I watched the final out through the windows of a security van parked ½ a block from Wrigley. It was fun to see the curse end and I’ll always remember those experiences as some of the best of my life.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“Nothing loveable about these losers, even when they win. Even having Gary Gaetti briefly can’t save this franchise from my ire.” - yoyohoratio

“I’ll admit it; I’m enamored by the whole Wrigley Field/lovable loser thing.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Field always looks great on television, and you see games regularly on WGN. They’re the only team with an adorable baby animal name.” - Anton Mett

“Used to be higher on my list, but their recent hubris (and their fans calling the 2016 WS the best of all time… um, please) has knocked them down to a lowly #6. I know they’re a big market city, but still being in the Midwest means we’ve gotta have some solidarity with ‘em. Plus, they hate the White Sox too, so we already have a lot in common.” - NoahRJ

“Think they are the evil empire.” - RoddStone

“Pulled hard for them to win the WS. Relate to the struggle. Likable players. Obnoxious fans.” - jgamble98

“Cute, lovable losers finally won one again in 2016. Great World Series that year, incredible suspense. I am glad they finally got another title, now don’t become obnoxious like the Red Sox. I grew up watching the Cubbies on WGN and listening to the drunk Harry Caray. Good times.” - gintzer

“They would have been much higher as a lovable loser, but now that there’s a recent World Series win I don’t have to care about them and their one hundred year old stadium anymore.” - Can’t Read Good

“They went from lovable losers to World Series champions. That 2016 Series was incredible, and I admire the fact that they are playing in a century old ballpark. Fun fact about that park: I was visiting a friend in Chicago, and she knew that I wanted to see Wrigley field, so she took me there to walk around it even though the Cubs had the day off. I touched the hallowed cathedral of baseball legend, looked into the field of dreams that lay within, and then we walked over to the Wrigleyville McDonald’s. It was there that a friend texted me that Mark Buehrle was taking a perfect game into the 9th inning on the other side of Chicago.” - Carl2562 [Editor’s Note: LOL]

“Everyone jumped on that bandwagon, and it was ridiculous.” - CG19

“2016 happened and suddenly the amount of Cubs fans increased by 1908 percent (Get it?).” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Am I an A**hole for wanting the curse to continue in 16?” - Mablaba

“Born and raised a Cubs fan.” - Bat-Boy

“They may not be the underdog any longer, but they did just break an incredibly long curse and were.” - TeamCrazyMatt

9. Padres (399 points)

No one hates the Padres. How could they? Most fans saw them as completely nonthreatening. That’s how they made it so high in the rankings among Twins Fans — well, that, and the lovable Mr. Padre.

What you had to say:

“I pity them” - Bat-Boy

“Sometimes I call my dad padre.” - BattleTheAttl

“I’ll be honest, I forget they exist about once a day.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Tony Gwynn was one of the all time best and one of my all-time favorites” - Hogan’s Hero

“They’ve been irrelevant for a while now, so I kind of like them.” - CG19

“Tony Gwynn, what a batter.” - Can’t Read Good

“It would be funny if they could ever be good.” - Theo77

“LONG LIVE THE BROWN JERSEYS.” - jgamble98

“Always wanted to live there.” - RoddStone

“They have one of my favorite baseball memes of all time, and their name literally translates into ‘Saint Diego Fathers’, which is fine and kind of funny. They’re the butt of a lot of jokes, but it’s currently 66° in San Diego right now, so I think it all evens out.” - NoahRJ

“I used to love Tony Gwynn but otherwise, this is a pretty boring franchise with some god-awful uniforms sprinkled throughout their history.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Love the yellow and brown uniforms.” - AirMcNairFan

“They have a nice stadium, but I don’t think many people know that they exist. I used to think the brown throwbacks were great and then I thought about it some more and I got a little skeptical.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“Tony Gwynn - Kirby Puckett in a mirror? Ok, not exactly the same player, but close enough.” - yoyohoratio

8. Diamondbacks (404 points)

Seems like a lot of Midwestern people have family and vacations in Arizona (I know I do), and, of course, Randy Johnson and the 2001 World Series win over the hated Yankees were big hits.

What you had to say:

“They employed Gardy as a coach. They’re winners in my book.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“My family vacations there so I follow them a bit.” - AirMcNairFan

“Mark Grace was one of the worst color commentators ever.” - TwinsFaninVT

“D-Back sounds like D-Bag. I know the snake-skin pattern on their uniforms are often derided, but in my heart of hearts, I like their uniforms better than ours.” - Anton Mett

“Remember that time the Twins swept the Diamondbacks this last year? That was cool. Outside of that, the Diamondbacks have to play in a barren land with regressive politics, and it gets v. hot there. But, they managed to scrounge up enough pocket change to purchase a single Zack Greinke, so I don’t have much pity for them.” - NoahRJ

“Fun logo.” - RoddStone

“Cool team name.” - jgamble98

“I have so much respect for this team that gets no respect from anyone else. They’ve got dark horse players everywhere... If it weren’t for the Rockies, I’d probably get on board even more.” - nickjohnson92

“They have had some great moments in their short history, including beating the Yankees in the World Series. Mainly because Randy Johnson was another one of my heroes. My daughter also played for the Diamondback in T-ball last summer!” - Carl2562

“Paul Goldschmidt is good for my fantasy team.” - Mablaba

“2001 World Series, enough said.” - Hogan’s Hero

“Grew up idolizing Randy Johnson.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“I guess I just always thought they had a cool name” - TeamCrazyMatt

7. Blue Jays (406 points)

Oh Canada!

What you had to say:

“I like Canada.” - BattleTheAttl

“The only Canadian team.” - Bat-Boy

“Used to live an hour away, had $99 season tickets (yes that’s $1.22 per game)” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Our Canadians MLB team has grown on me. In the 1990’s they were near the bottom of my list of favorite teams, mostly because of the 1992 World Series.” - Hogan’s Hero

“I jumped on the bandwagon when they loaded up on power hitters. Now they’re irrelevant again, but it was fun while it lasted.” - CG19

“I put them right in the middle, because, no matter how mediocre they are and how great the Twins are, they still always seem to be able to beat the Twins. They did give us Roy Halladay, though.” - Carl2562

“People have sex in their stadium. Canada is weird.” - Can’t Read Good

“Canadians are so cute and cuddly. When the Blue Jays come to Target Field, their fans nearly overrun the park so they must have a cool fan base. I would like to go to their park some day and get one of those hotel rooms in the stadium.” - gintzer

“As much as some people hate the antics of Jose Bautista, I feel the opposite. I love seeing a player with passion for the game. I also feel for the people of Canada who only have one team now (more on that later). Lastly, I find it quite humorous that Canada’s team wears blue, rather than the country’s red.” - nickjohnson92

“Joe Carter, Molitor, yada yada yada” - RoddStone

“They make our game international, they’re the only reason we can say ‘world’ series with a straight face. Every game opens with two national anthems! And two flag ceremonies! That’s twice the pomp my friends. Good logo, good colors, and they broadcast nationally (albeit their nation). When they come to play in MN, half the crowd is Canadian, it feels like I’m at an away game with the convenience of home.” - Anton Mett

“Only this high because Josh Donaldson is my favorite non-Twin.” - AirMcNairFan

“They’re really cocky. At least the Yankees have some class.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“Another Twins playoff opponent that I never really rooted against, just happened to be in the way. First team on my list with no Gaetti connection I can think of.” - yoyohoratio

6. Brewers (426 points)

You’d think being from Wisconsin would hurt the Brewers, but it’s actually what helped push them up this high. Lots of spill-over fans, friends, family, etc. Plus: Beer.

What you had to say:

“Hard to find a reason to hate them. Love to hate them. Would be fun to form a real rivalry with them. Their ballpark is an airplane hangar though…..” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“Miller Park is alright. They need to change their uniforms sometime because it looks like they’re holding onto the 90’s or 00’s. Just go back to the unis before that time, okay?” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“I always liked Robin Yount and Paul Molitor and Milwaukee just seems like a fun baseball city. Besides, you just can’t go wrong with Bernie the Brewer sliding into a keg and the sausage races.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Nice stadium, good team colors, PERFECT logo! I’d wear their merch even if I knew nothing about baseball, beer, or Wisconsin.” - Anton Mett

“My girlfriend’s parents live in Wisconsin, and I don’t want to be disowned by putting the Brewers any lower on this list. Plus, the rivalry with Milwaukee is kinda fun, even though we know we’re better.” - NoahRJ

“Lived in Wisconsin for 7 years and National League so no big deal.” - RoddStone

“Listen, if we were ranking football teams, the Packers would be dead last (#SKOL). However, the Brewers never get as much respect and hype as they deserve. They’re starting to look good again too. Let’s see a Twins-Brewers World Series!” - nickjohnson92

“I have lots of Brewer fan friends and can relate with the team.” - jgamble98

“I still see Bud Selig.” - Theo77

“Wisconsin sucks. The Packers suck. The Brewers suck, have always sucked, and always will suck. The Brewers have zero titles, so when some Packers person starts bragging about all their titles and the Vikings have nothing.. I pull the ace out of my sleeve and brag about the two titles for our beloved Twins and nothing for the Brew crew. It is somewhat effective in shutting down obnoxious Packers fans.. right up there with displaying the 7 college football championships for the Gophers and zero for the Badgers. Again, Wisconsin sucks.” - gintzer

“I needed a National League team to cheer for, and all of my in-laws are from Wisconsin. We went to one game each summer of 2008 and 2009 for her family reunion, and I enjoyed watching them. We were ‘treated’ to a Jeff Suppan start in 2008; I heard we missed CC Sabathia by one day. ” - Carl2562

“They’re fun to root for as a non-annoying Wisconsin team.” - CG19

“A team name that references beer. I’m in. If they were in the AL Central our beer and cheese loving neighbors would be lower on my list, but they are not.” - Hogan’s Hero

“I enjoy the quasi rivalry between them and twins. Great fans.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“I make fun of Wisconsin a lot, but they have one of the best names in sports.” - BattleTheAttl

5. Pirates (439 points)

The Pirates made it this high on the list because nearly no one hated them. There was actually a lot of remorse for their fans, plus Roberto Clemente. Also: Nice ass stadium.

What you had to say:

“Love to cheer for small market teams, probably best stadium I’ve been to.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“I really look up to Roberto Clemente in a big way.” - Carl2562

“I used to copy the Willie Stargell windmill motion getting ready for the pitch when I was a youngster.” - gintzer

“I like the Pirates. I really do. But it’s hard to be a heavy supporter of a team that doesn’t seem to want to win. Seriously, they had a couple of outstanding seasons, but then just fizzled quickly in the playoffs. The problem: they never signed an X-factor player to get them past the early playoffs.” - nickjohnson92

“I guess I’m just putting teams down where Morneau played after he left the Twins? The Pirates are a tortured franchise who just traded their best pitcher and the face of the franchise. Those poor, poor fans.” - NoahRJ

“Pittsburgh has always been one of the more underrated cities in the U.S. and I always admired Roberto Clemente.” - TwinsFaninVT

“Bonds, Bonilla, Van Slyke, Drabek, good ball club back in the day.” - AirMcNairFan

“Van Slyke, Bonds (still in human form), Bonilla - was fun to watch.” - yoyohoratio

“Beautiful park and a team that has been entertaining, yet consistently disappointing. Such a shame” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

4. Astros (494 points)

The Astros definietly got the World Series bump here. The fact they sucked for so long before coming good, and people’s hopes the Twins can do the same, also played a role.

What you had to say:

“They won a World Series through homegrown talent and smart acquisitions. Good for them.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

“How can you not like a team with a 5’6” MVP? And a team that formerly had Gary Gaetti as a hitting coach?” - yoyohoratio

“Jose Altuve is a hell of a player, he brings them up the list.” - AirMcNairFan

“They were so, so bad during a formative time in baseball memes. We all know our favorite friend, The GIF Oracle? At least other abysmal teams (see: the 2016 Twins) won’t have to be immortalized in Graphics Interchange Format for the rest of time, and that outlives any World Series victory.” - NoahRJ

“Good at rebuilding.” - RoddStone

“OK, OK, hear me out. Despite the Astros being, in my opinion, the best team in baseball (especially after acquiring Cole), I have so much respect about what the fans of Houston had to go through. After multiple dreadful and embarrassing seasons (and a catastrophic flood), Houston has a very likable baseball team that they can be proud of. Yes, much of this high ranking is from pity, but there is some forbidden fandom there too.” - nickjohnson92

“The 2021 Minnesota Twins?” - jgamble98

“I am annoyed that they beat the Dodgers in the 2017 World Series.” - gintzer

“I actually played for them in little league.” - Carl2562

“It was hilarious how they lost 100 games 3 straight years. Now all of a sudden they won a World Series.” - CG19

“Jeff Bagwell is my 2nd favorite all time 1st baseman (behind Hrbek). The Killer B’s of the 90’s and the Astros of current day have made me an Astros fan.” - Hogan’s Hero

“I find myself hoping that we are the Astros about two years behind.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“I like how they went from awful to World Series champ.” - Bat-Boy

3. Rockies (501 points)

This one is pretty damn easy to explain: Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau. Although, there were some other sweet reasons for loving this team too.

What you had to say:

“Starting watching a lot of their games when Cuddy/ Morneau got there.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“For some reason I became a fan of them when they entered the league as an expansion team. Also, who doesn’t love home runs?” - Hogan’s Hero

“In 2007, I was 6 years old and watching their game 163 and randomly decided to root for them in the playoffs. I made my parents tape the games and got excited as they swept their way to the World Series and was really mad at the Red Sox after they swept them. It’s a nice memory.” - CG19

“I really enjoyed watching their 2007 World Series run. I was in a miserable year, what with my grandma dying in the middle of summer and dealing with homesickness and bad roommates at college. The Colorado Rockies 2007 playoff run was one thing that would consistently make me happy that fall.” - Carl2562

“Here’s a team that was smart enough to sign both Michael Cuddyer and Justin Morneau when they had the chance. Class acts, those guys out in Denver.” - Can’t Read Good

“Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer experienced second winds at Coors.” - jgamble98

“My favorite out-of-market team has to be Colorado, for multiple reasons. Firstly is fantasy baseball. Tulo, Cargo and Arenado have led my teams to ample championships for half a decade. Also, they tend to sign good Twins players later in their careers for a last hurrah, which is fun to watch. Of course, I like the way the ball flies out of that park and the ridiculous scores that sometimes occur. Lastly they wear purple. That’s enough for me.” - nickjohnson92

“Morneau won a batting title there.” - RoddStone

“Denver is like a more expensive Minneapolis with mountains and weed. What’s not to like? Also, Cuddyer and Morneau both won the NL batting title with the Rockies in 2013 and 2014, respectively.” - NoahRJ

“Their field is a crazy science experiment where anything could happen. It’s interesting to see their management continually tinker, trying unlock the secrets of Coors Field, but it seems this is a magical land that defies logic and encourages insanity.” - Anton Mett

“My family moved to a suburb of Denver, Colorado, when I was 3 years old or so. My earliest memories are from Colorado and one of these memories is my mother, father, and I sitting up in the nosebleeds above right-center field of brand-new Coors Field watching the Rockies with a cooler full of beverages and a big bag of Doritos Nacho Cheese chips because you could do whatever you wanted in the early ‘90s, like bring/sneak food and beverages into a ballpark. That or my memory is tricking me. Anyway, I have since visited Coors Field once more in 2014 when the Twins visited there. I don’t follow the Rockies too closely but I do what I can to keep up on scores, etc.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“Grateful to see Morneau have one more good year with them, and who doesn’t like having baseballs stored in a humidor?” - yoyohoratio

“Beautiful park and Twins West: They had Cuddyer and Morneau, ‘nuff said.” - whatyouknowtwinsfan

2. Mariners (516 points)

The Mariners coming in second on this list comes as little surprise. I honestly believe if you somehow did an aggregated poll of all baseball fans like this one, the Mariners would come out on top simply because there’s really not any reason to hate them, and everyone loves Ken Griffey Jr. (Ichrio and King Felix, among others, don’t hurt either).

What you had to say:

“Seattle is such a great city and I fondly remember the golden days of Mariner baseball when Griffey, Jr. and Randy Johnson were in their primes.” - TwinsFaninVT

“During my lifetime has had some epic players, notably Griffey and Ichiro. Nice stadium and decent baseball. Dipoto currently the most interesting GM in the game.” - Anton Mett

“A cloudy Minneapolis with rain and a more depressed fanbase. That last part wasn’t intended as a weather joke, but here we are. King Felix is dope, and I’d love to see the Mariners make the postseason while he’s still playing (and lose to the Twins in the ALCS).” - NoahRJ

“Ken Griffey Jr, Pre-Roid A-Rod (maybe)” - RoddStone

“Full-on bandwagon here. Just get to the playoffs M’s!” - nickjohnson92

“Wife is from Seattle, so I kinda gotta have some allegiance.” - Theo77

“No team really matters beyond the Twins and then the Dodgers. However, my family did live in Seattle for a few years in the 1970s and it coincided with the beginning of the Mariners franchise. I was just a squirt, yet remember being in the Kingdome in 1976 when it was brand new. My mom signed me up to be a member of the first kid’s club for the Mariners in 1976.” - gintzer

“Ken Griffey Jr. and those sweet Nike 24s.” - Can’t Read Good

“Jerry DiPoto, the most fun GM in baseball. Plus King Felix.” - Mablaba

“Ken Griffey Jr, Randy Johnson and Jay Buhner got me rooting for them in the 90’s. Not to mention they beat the Yankees in the 1995 Playoffs.” - Hogan’s Hero

“I live in Duluth and like boats.” - BattleTheAttl

“They let the Twins score 20 runs last season.” - Bat-Boy

“Because I have family friends who are Mariners fans. Plus Ichiro has always been fun to watch.” - TeamCrazyMatt

“I played for the Mariners in T-ball at age 5. Then I discovered Ken Griffey Jr and he became one of my childhood heroes. I had a poster of him on my wall when I was a kid. I put an empty box of Frosted Wheaties with his picture on it on display in my son’s bedroom” - Carl2562

1. Twins (680 points)

Duh. Obviously.

What you had to say:

“Duh.” - RoddStone

“Obviously.” - TeamCrazyMatt

“Would be tied with Cubs but ties are not allowed.” - Bat-Boy

“Obviously, why else would I be here.” - BattleTheAttl

“How are they not America’s team? Maybe I am biased.” - StanleyCupBoundStars

“Of course.” - Hogan’s Hero

“The team that fueled my childhood.” - Mablaba

“I was born in Minnesota, my parents were Twins fans who took me and my siblings to the Dome all the time, so I naturally became a Twins fan.” - CG19

“I could write pages and pages about what this team has meant to me over the last 30 years, but suffice to say, I was born, raised and still live in the Minneapolis suburbs.” - Carl2562

“They won the World Series when I was five years old. End of story. Except wait a minute, they won it again when I was nine, and then ten years later when I was a sovereign human in my own right they fielded Torii and Joe and Justin. This team just kept winning my heart.” - Can’t Read Good

“Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek, and the fact they are named after the entire state and not a city are some of the top reasons they rank #1. Of course, they are the only professional men’s sports team from Minnesota that has won anything in the modern era so they will always be the best team from this area.” - gintzer

“We’re gonna win Twins!” - Theo77

“Always and Forever.” - jgamble98

“Duh. They’ve been the hometown team my whole life. MN through and through.” - nickjohnson92

“A team filled with good boys. If you throw stick, they fetch stick. Plus, we have the great and fearsome entity known as S E C O N D H A L F D O Z I E R.” - NoahRJ

“My family is originally from the D.C. area and both sides of the family were die-hard Senator fans. When my father was 10 years old, he was able to visit the clubhouse and get the autographs of every member of the 1959 Senator team. A young slugger named Harmon Killebrew even bought my dad a Coke from the clubhouse vending machine. When they moved to Minnesota, he stayed loyal to them and passed that loyalty on to my brothers and I.” - TwinsFaninVT

“No doubt there.” - AirMcNairFan

“This isn’t on top for rational reasons. Our name is kind of dumb, the colors are boring (Hold on, red AND blue... It’ll be like the 4th of July all summer!). I’d trade all the aesthetics with our soccer team in a second: GREAT logo, colors, name... if only they played baseball. We do have a nice stadium, the TC logo is fine, and historically we’ve played baseball well. I will say, the Dairy Queen free hat days ensure that every farmer in MN has at least one TC cap in regular rotation, and the game playing on the AM radio. That’s pretty perfect.” - Anton Mett

“Duh.” - Imakesandwichesforaliving

“Gary Gaetti’s team.” - yoyohoratio

“DUH! Ever since my dad took me to a Twins game at the Dome when I was 4 years old, I’ve been a fan. Joe Mays pitched 8 shutout innings, how could I not get hooked? In fact, I still have the hat my dad bought for me that day (vintage “M” cap). My true fandom, however, came during the end of the 2006 season. I remember a game against KC the final week of the season. Joe Mauer hit a game-tying homerun (shocking, right?) in the 9th inning and Bartlett hit a walkoff in the 10th inning to keep the Twins in the division race. Then, the final day of that season answered any questions about my allegiances. Watching along with everyone else to see Detroit lose to KC easily makes my top 10 baseball moments. The Twins have provided that and so much more for me. I’ve seen so many amazing walkoffs live, I called Michael Cuddyer’s game winning HR live at the dome in the 2nd to last game of the 2009 regular season, I saw Anthony Swarzak take a no-hitter into the 8th inning live at Target Field, I was in Chicago to witness the Twins take 1st place from the White Sox in August of 2010, I watched live at Target Field as Jim Thome hit the FLAGPOLE with a homerun, and by far the best memory in my baseball life, I was at Comerica Park the night the newly minted HOFer Jim Thome hit HRs 599 and 600. Additionally, 2017 was amazing and I can’t wait for the 2018 season to start. They’ve given me so many reasons to be joyful, whether in a Dome or under the sun, there’s no team, anywhere, in any sport, that can surpass the absolute love I have for this team no matter the final score. Now, how do I follow this up?” - whatyouknowtwinsfan