Monday Morning Minnesota: Gardy being Gardy

• Ron Gardenhire has been playing cards with randos in Detroit because of course he has. This Pro Baseball Detroit piece also includes snowmobiles and selfies, so you know its good!
• Per Mike Berardino: Ervin Santana can’t even hold a baseball yet, so that’s promising.
• The Twins are one of the offseasons biggest winners! (According to this one site with an unwieldy name!) Imagine that! Thanks Falvine.
• I feel like I find a piece on Jake Mauer every week so I guess let’s not break up the streak.

Old Timey Baseballer of the Day: Boots Poffenberger

Boots, whose real name was Cletus, was a hotshot young pitcher who debuted with Detroit in 1937. Expected to be one of those “can’t miss” players due to his raw talent, Boots had some other ideas. Beer mostly. Beer was his favorite idea. He was known for missing practice and even not showing up for games altogether, earning him the nickname “Duke of Duckouts” which is pretty rad. One time he appeared on a radio program sponsored by a cereal company and was asked what his favorite breakfast was. Instead of plugging the cereal as arranged he replied “Ham, eggs and two bottles of beer.” In an effort to straighten him out, his manager hired a private investigator to tail him and later confronted him abundant misdeeds. Poffenberger told him that was a waste of money as “All they’d have to do was go to the beer joint closest to the ballpark.”

Boots lasted only three years in the Majors with an overall mediocre showing, but did serve in the Marines in WWII, presumably giving some commanding officer headaches.

Today's soundrack is the glorious bleeps and bloops of Final Fantasy. (The only legit party is 4 black belts.)

Have a lovely evening!