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Hypothetical Twins 2018 Disaster Season

NOT EDUARDO ESCOBAR WE NEED HIM! - Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

After a decent 2017 season and a great offseason, everyone is optimistic for 2018. I think they'll do well, but I also enjoy laughing at the Twins failures almost as much as I enjoy them winning. So I decided to think of a hypothetical disastrous way for the season to go because it sounds fun.

It starts with a 3-0 opening by sweeping the Orioles. However, Jose Berrios starts a road interleague game in Pittsburgh to align for the Puerto Rico series. The Twins lead 4-1 when Berrios comes to bat in the 6th when disaster strikes. A fastball runs inside and WHACK! Berrios is out for 2 months after his throwing hand is broken by a HBP.

In spite of that, the Twins head to their home opener at 5-0. They're leading 3-2 in the 8th with Addison Reed trying to work out of a bases loaded 2 out jam when Jean Segura drives one deep. Byron Buxton leaps for the catch, hits the wall, and the ball rolls out of his glove. He lays motionless as Segura rounds the bases for an in the park grand-slam. Buxton is carted off and it is revealed that he suffered a broken leg, broken ribs, and a concussion. He's already out for the season after 6 games in which he was on fire having hit 4 homers.

The Buxton injury sucks, but the lineup is still strong. That is, until April 23, when the 13-6 Twins are in Yankee Stadium. Phil Hughes allows a foul pop up to his former team and Joe Mauer and Max Kepler both chase it. The result is a collision similar to the Alex Gordon/Mike Moustakas collision. Mauer is out for 2 months with a broken arm and Max Kepler's season is over due to a torn ACL, MCL, and patellar tendon. Logan Morrison is now the starting first baseman, Robbie Grossman is the DH, and rookies Zack Granite and Jake Cave play center field and right field, respectively.

The pitching staff deteriorates. Granite and Cave cover OK ground, but the defensive shifts created before the season relied on Buxton's MLB best defense, leaving the outfielders out of position far too often. All the starters suffer except for Gibson due to him keeping it on the ground. Kyle Gibson is all of a sudden the only good starter.

On May 31 at Target Field another big injury comes. Eddie Rosario had been trying desperately to make every play he could in the outfield to compensate for the injuries to his 2 outfield mates. It leads to him being on pace for a career best UZR, but he becomes reckless, and on that May 31, he is sprinting towards foul territory for a fly ball despite the team already leading by 8 (Gibson's magical run support.) Before he knows it, he runs out of room and slams his lower body into the wall and suffers a torn patellar tendon. Grossman becomes the new starting left fielder, Logan Morrison heads back to DH, and Mitch Garver becomes the starting first baseman. The outfield motto goes from "nothing falls but raindrops" to "nothing drops but bodies." The Twins end May 20-25 after their hot start.

After falling to 27-36 after June 21, a resurgence starts. Mauer, Jorge Polanco (a little later), and Berrios all return, Dozier heats up after a slow start, the outfield shifts get fixed up, and Ervin Santana, Lance Lynn, and Jake Odorizzi heat up as a result. They head to August 1 at 57-51.

By the time July ends, Brian Dozier has been carrying the team. He already has 26 homers, putting him on pace for 39. Sano is way ahead of him with a whopping 31. On August 1, the Twins trail the Indians by 1 with a runner on third and 2 outs in the 9th. Dozier comes to the plate looking to tie it. He lines Cody Allen's pitch into the gap for the RBI and rounds second when POP goes the Achilles' tendon. The rest of the season is downhill. Trevor Hildenberger has an ERA over 5.00 due to Paul Molitor overusing him, Miguel Sano strikes out at 41% over the final 2 months, Eduardo Escobar plays ineffectively through nagging injuries to try to carry the team, Granite and Cave can't hit, and Lance Lynn hits a dead arm phase due to consecutive 180+ inning seasons back from Tommy John.

The Twins finish 73-89 but only get the #9 pick due to so many bad teams. All 3 outfielders are question marks health wise going into next year, Dozier signs a one year prove-it deal in New York while rehabbing his ruptured Achilles, Sano gets up to 315 pounds over the offseason, and Mauer spends yet another year on a bad team. The end.