Monday Morning Minnesota: Rosario, Lamarre and Previews and Previews

• SBnation put up the preview for the 2018 season and it features national treasure Maija Varda so go read that if you haven’t already. A sentient DVD copy of National Treasure starring Nic Cage named Tawny (who is me) also wrote a preview of the season: Balls will be hit #wow #woah. A writer for yahoo, whose treasure status I am unsure of, also previewed the upcoming Twins season so read that if you still want more previewing in your life.
• FSH Sports thinks Eddie Rosario’s breakout was legit. Graphs are included so you can pretend to be smart while you barely digest the information through hazy eyes and a muddled brain pre-occupied with thoughts on the naivety of mankind. Or whatever normal people do during breakfast.
• TwinsDaily thinks Ryan Lamarre might break camp with the big league club. I always love rooting for the randos of spring training.
• Charley Walters of the PPress asked three former Twins aces about the revamped 2018 starting staff. Their opinions are fairly glowing, much like future cats around nuclear waste.

Old Timey Baseballer of the Day: Tony Suck

Tony Suck was a real human person named Tony Suck. He debuted for the Buffalo Bisons of the NL in 1883. In Suck’s first game he played catcher and made 3 errors in 7 chances whilst allowing 4 passed balls. He didn’t get a single hit during the 10 inning game though he did manage a walk. After Suck sucked at catching so hard, Buffalo decided he was an outfielder now. They let him play two innings there, during which despite all his vacuum like sucking, no balls were hit to him. In standing there he was still obviously too awful so he never played in the major Majors again. His career OBP was .125 thanks to that walk. Suck played for three teams in the ill-fated Union Association the following year and managed to be horrible for all of them. Combined with his 1 major league appearance at Catcher, Suck played 32 games at the position and committed 32 errors and let 30 balls pass him. Presumably someone at some point said “Shucks, Suck” and that’s just fun.

Today’s Soundtrack is Solstice, which proved the NES sound-chip could melt faces.

Have a nice arbitrary time period!