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Twins 4, Astros 1: Walks will win

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Despite an erratic start, the Twins rise above .500 with a win

MLB: Houston Astros at Minnesota Twins Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

Both starters (Dallas Keuchel and Jake Odorizzi) agreed they hated accuracy and had very hard times throwing strikes, walking a completely exaggerated 400 billion people. In fact, Jake Odoriferous walked the first batter of his first 3 innings, but thanks to some timely double plays, only one of those walks would haunt.

The Twins first started with a reversed call that gave Brian Dozier and infield single. Joe Mauer then walked as he tends to do. Miguel Sano managed to advance them over with a productive out, which allowed Eduardo Escobar to produce his own out (productively) with a sac fly. Robbie Grossman, never one to follow a fad, just hit a double to bring in Mauer.

In the bottom of the second Mitch Garver and Byron Buxton led off with back-to-back singles. Spring training heart-throb Ryan Lamarre then struck out. Brian Dozier walked (that might keep happening.) and with the bases loaded with Twinkies, Joe Mauer literally just stood there for 5 pitches and then strolled to first base with a well-earned RBI.

In the 4th, Jake Hors d’oeuvre broke his promise to Keuchel and stopped walking so many people. Keuchel’s 4th would be his last inning as he had already thrown 101 pitches. That’s a lot of pitches for 4 innings.

The rest of the game proceeded at a considerably breezy pace. Brian Dozier would walk 3 more times for funsies. Mauer would inch closer to his 2,000th hit with 2 hits, including one in the 8th that drove in Garver for the final run of the game.

Real-life closer Fernando Rodney got 3 out of the 4 guys he faced out in the 9th, securing the win. He then fired an imaginary arrow into the sky, perhaps ruining the day of an imaginary duck.

Jake Odoreater earned his first Win in a Twins uniform, while Minnesota rises to 5-4 on the season.

STUDS:

Brian Dozier: 1/1 with 4 walks and a few stellar plays in the infield.
Joe Mauer: 2 for 3 with 2 walks and 2 RBIs. He’s hitting .407 right now and I like to imagine that means anything.
Ryan Pressly, Zach Duke and Fernando Rodney: One scoreless inning apiece.

DUDS:

Miguel Sano: 0/5 with TEN runners left on base. (The Twins in total left 23 on which is not optimal.)

NO OTHER DUDS TWINS WIN!

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

# Recs Commenter Comment Link
10 TeamCrazyMatt There once was an actor named Burton
9 Joel Hernandez Productive outs is also what I call my bowel movements
7 Klawitter I blame Thibs
7 kenzertz You had me at sdiofjdfkm.
6 Imakesandwichesforaliving GO TWINS GO
6 montanatwinsfan right near the top, right up there near 'humility'
6 Asthix I know how to pronounce their pitchers' name
6 TawnyFroggy T
6 TJ Gorsegner Holy sh*t lomo got a hit
6 James Fillmore As Freud would say
6 Klawitter Coined for the great Polynesian hitter, Joe Maui
5 TJ Gorsegner I thought we had a site-wide conspiracy to deny those to Joel
5 Joel Hernandez You finally felt my wrath
5 TawnyFroggy WaaaaAAAAllllks will HaAAaaUUOunt wooOOooo
5 James Fillmore Levar’s visor was malfunctioning there
5 Cbrolin I've waited my entire life for this game thread
5 TeamCrazyMatt [no title]
5 James Fillmore He got Comment Of The Game Thread for that whole "Get thee behind me, Satan" line
5 TeamCrazyMatt Try Hard 2: Try Harder
5 TJ Gorsegner Lord, its hard to be humble
5 montanatwinsfan The engines will never hold
5 James Fillmore If the Twins reroute the antimatter inducers through a tachyon field and reverse the quantum polarity
5 TawnyFroggy What a sad life you must have had.
5 gintzer Let's go Lomo... Hit the ball like a Homo sapien who has superior hand-eye coordination.
5 montanatwinsfan but does he try hard enough?
5 TawnyFroggy Thanks.
5 Cbrolin "No mo' po' LoMo!"
4 James Fillmore If Robbie really tried hard that would be a homer
4 Cbrolin TWINS WIN!!!!!!
4 SooFoo Fan wooooOoooOOOoooWooooooooooooo
4 CG19 It caused a 30 second delay to make sure they're counting the mound visits right
4 Klawitter No mo' po' LoMo!
4 TJ Gorsegner Not OMG Math
4 TawnyFroggy "Pitch to walk" is the future
4 Cbrolin sdiofjdfkmfsndoifjfkesmdfcjfkm,sd
4 TeamCrazyMatt "He's hit in every game so far, that'll be 9 games... Brian on a 9-game hitting streak."
4 10,000_Sacks Stay hot LaMarre, hit them in!
4 SooFoo Fan I have no idea what you just said
4 SooFoo Fan Have to trick LoMo into thinking he isn't a Twin
4 James Fillmore Always appropriate
4 TawnyFroggy Maybe I'm secretly TJ Gorsegner.
4 montanatwinsfan A Robbie Grossman sighting!
4 montanatwinsfan He's 2.5 years old.
4 montanatwinsfan Then we can blame you for Lanceless Lynn
3 a null entry [no title]
3 Pau from the sky-tinted water Like the early runs, like the Astro pitch count in the first also
3 Cbrolin thanks
3 CG19 I didn't expect a reading rainbow reference
3 SooFoo Fan and gets on base
3 montanatwinsfan Says the one who so clearly has long dong envy.
3 James Fillmore Life is like a shit sandwich
3 TawnyFroggy I don't. Being a male would suck.
3 SooFoo Fan A new meme, for a more civilized time.
3 SooFoo Fan I mean if you have to dive it shouldn't be an error
3 montanatwinsfan oh man I must be tired
3 TawnyFroggy It was my favorite show not about teenaged girls saving the world.
3 TawnyFroggy If you not lose long enough, you win!
3 Devereaux Spring Ballpark Pass - Game 3
3 montanatwinsfan Gladden:
3 James Fillmore The Will To Win
3 James Fillmore I know Catfish is a Hunter
3 SooFoo Fan Tenderize it
3 TJ Gorsegner Unless "Smoking" Jay Cutler is on your team
3 Klawitter I've been to Hollywood
3 SooFoo Fan Uh Bert
3 Coach Farmer Not-a-hit-Joe!
3 Asthix I'd Go Fo Mo Lo Mo!
3 TJ Gorsegner The answer below
3 SooFoo Fan Roughly a 4 hour pace right now
3 TJ Gorsegner I was just wondering where the president of the Robbie Grossman fan club was tonight
3 TeamCrazyMatt walks are haunting ME
3 Cbrolin that's why I'd like to see Sano try pitching sometime
3 CG19 Mauer just got his OBP over .500
3 TJ Gorsegner So like... last year?
3 Joel Hernandez Hi
3 montanatwinsfan and unhelpful
3 TawnyFroggy Good thing that walk haunted you and not the Twins!
3 montanatwinsfan where the hell is that Manfred 'pace of play' rule thingy!??!??
3 TawnyFroggy WELL LETS SEE WHAT THIS NEW WINDOWS 10 MSPAINT CAN DO
3 TJ Gorsegner Someone needs to draw up a comic with an old pitcher living in a rickety house full of the ghosts of his old walks
3 TJ Gorsegner Fun fact... Robbie Grossman and Logan Morrison have the EXACT SAME number of hits
3 montanatwinsfan he tries hard
3 TJ Gorsegner Bregman is local-famous around Albuquerque, more than the rest of our crop of recent MLB players
3 montanatwinsfan I'm not sure he can afford to drop too much Serum Glutamic Oxaloacetic Transaminase.
3 SooFoo Fan That's pretty neat
3 CG19 I always find that sports cliche dumb
3 TawnyFroggy I don't want one in THAT way.
3 CG19 I'm confused
3 Cbrolin quit being overproductive
3 2wins87 That looked pretty nice
3 TJ Gorsegner I already did!
3 TawnyFroggy I agree.
3 James Fillmore The kids don’t know Classic country
2 TawnyFroggy I mean some people would say no.
2 Imakesandwichesforaliving just trying to soften the ground
2 Klawitter Never had a po' boy sandwich?
2 CG19 We can add hacking to your list of skills
2 TJ Gorsegner What does Forrest Gump have to do with all this
2 CG19 He works hard
2 TawnyFroggy I certainly have no idea what you two are talking about
2 James Fillmore That’s "MahaLoMo"
2 TawnyFroggy I don't eat meat.
2 10,000_Sacks No more poor LoMo?
2 SooFoo Fan I'm confused and unhelped
2 SooFoo Fan fun fact
2 Cbrolin oh
2 TawnyFroggy Please tell the other robots not to murder me when the singularity begins.
2 TawnyFroggy I didn't know you were a robot
2 TawnyFroggy I went to Pizza Ranch once
2 SooFoo Fan But in both cases, it all worked out in the end
2 montanatwinsfan well, his fastball is pretty sweet, his fake arrows are prickly and ... well I won't speculate on how the chocolate reference might work
2 SooFoo Fan 12% left on my battery
2 montanatwinsfan JOE MAUI!
2 TawnyFroggy I'll still never understand how Pizza and Wild West go together.
2 TawnyFroggy WINS TWIN BABY
2 Can't Read Good Got wins go!
2 Theo77 Yay for baseball! AND A TWINS WIN!
2 Asthix I'm excited for tomorrow :blush: :blush:
2 CG19 Now you have 2 devices to charge tonight
2 TawnyFroggy I used to order delivery from them and make a custom pizza
2 TawnyFroggy I'm already sad Dozier is probably gone next year.
2 SooFoo Fan Otherwise known as "all four years of my college career"
2 TawnyFroggy WOOOOO
2 CG19 Take that, Manfred!
2 CG19 This pitch count is bad
2 montanatwinsfan woo?
2 Cbrolin it feels like that really long WS game last year with all those homers
2 SooFoo Fan Hey, I've been to Pipestone
2 SooFoo Fan Let it rest for 10 minutes before eating
2 2wins87 Back to back games with infield hits for Sano?
2 montanatwinsfan 1996?
2 SooFoo Fan Are you suggesting you cant get hits when you don't play?
2 CG19 I feel like this is the new running joke
2 montanatwinsfan WOOOOOOO!
2 SooFoo Fan wooooOoooOOOooo
2 Cbrolin I agree
2 kenzertz It's nice to have Byron Buxton in CF.
2 montanatwinsfan well, maybe if he tries REALLY hard
2 Cbrolin nothing
2 Imakesandwichesforaliving marinade overnight
2 TawnyFroggy Yeah, that arrangement of letters does not in any way make those noises.
2 TJ Gorsegner as opposed to speed cameras.
2 TJ Gorsegner HE TRIED SO HARD THERE!!!
2 montanatwinsfan Yes he did, yes he did.
2 TawnyFroggy LEAVE THE DOME ALONE, DICK
2 TeamCrazyMatt Bollocks
2 SooFoo Fan Ok, Sherlock
2 TawnyFroggy ISN'T DEATH REALLY THE ULTIMATE VICTORY THOUGH?
2 James Fillmore Studies have shown
2 TeamCrazyMatt Walks haunt
2 James Fillmore Well, for years Twins fans were sick of "pitch to contact" starters
2 montanatwinsfan Your opponent's death?
2 SooFoo Fan WooHoo!
2 kenzertz I love it when Mauer draws bases-loaded walks.
2 SooFoo Fan Science
2 CG19 Yeah, his second elbow is looking good
2 Klawitter Someone smarter (or less lazy) than I should see who the career leaders in bases-loaded walks is
2 CG19 Time for them to say productive out about 20 times
2 TeamCrazyMatt And now we wait 10 minutes
2 Joel Hernandez I am personally hurt and offended by this
2 James Fillmore Twins now 0-7 with bases loaded and less than two outs
2 TJ Gorsegner Ugh. My internet is out
2 TawnyFroggy Not losing still!
2 TeamCrazyMatt Scored first
2 James Fillmore Those modern high-speed cameras are sweet
1 OtherPTBNL Grossman
1 Cbrolin ah, I forgot about that
1 Cbrolin I'm never coming back to this place again if this doesn't win comment of the day
1 Cbrolin Grossy!
1 TJ Gorsegner EE gets the RBI
1 TJ Gorsegner Are we ever going to see Kinley
1 SooFoo Fan They're keeping him fresh for the playoffs
1 Asthix Babadook
1 Joel Hernandez In Rob we trust
1 SooFoo Fan Yes
1 CG19 He can if he walks less
1 montanatwinsfan It's a bit more meaningful in head to head physical sports like hockey and basketball
1 SooFoo Fan Lazy Dozier
1 SooFoo Fan Cy Mchugh
1 montanatwinsfan huh?
1 TawnyFroggy Time to catch me a seagull and then get all of the dates.
1 CG19 What a try hard
1 TawnyFroggy ROBEEEEEEEEEEEEE
1 a null entry Robbie
1 Coach Farmer Twins jersey with an Astros cap?
1 SooFoo Fan ROBBIE with a RBI
1 montanatwinsfan I thought 'those parents have a sense of humor'
1 TeamCrazyMatt ROBBIE
1 James Fillmore Don’t forget frat basement foosball
1 TeamCrazyMatt Please don't literally Kill the Umpire
1 SooFoo Fan I work there
1 Cbrolin great play
1 Cbrolin that was as smooth as it could've gone
1 SooFoo Fan The best thing there is the chicken
1 Can't Read Good Is he the closer? Seems dubious.
1 Cbrolin told you, he got into McCann's head
1 SooFoo Fan Everyone in the Midwest is a cowboy
1 TeamCrazyMatt GIDdyuP
1 SooFoo Fan 20% on my phone
1 James Fillmore Very much so
1 Coach Farmer Good game.
1 James Fillmore Neil Gaiman used to live near here
1 TawnyFroggy Also Go Twins Go
1 CG19 I spent tons of time on MS Paint on grandma's computer as a 5 year old
1 Cbrolin safe by like 3 frames
1 SooFoo Fan It died
1 AdoreAdorno Seriously went to Pizza Ranch for the first time tonight and I've had plenty of opportunities
1 Cbrolin WOOOOO
1 montanatwinsfan whatever you do - do not go to an indoor Asian shopping center/megamall!
1 Cbrolin 4 straight walks for Doz
1 James Fillmore Hydrogen iodide
1 TJ Gorsegner Postal code for Hawaii
1 Cbrolin I'm ok with that
1 Joel Hernandez I was not waving at you
1 SooFoo Fan MaueRBI!
1 TawnyFroggy Unfortunate last name for a closer.
1 Cbrolin welp, that's a ba.......................oh yeah no one's on base
1 TawnyFroggy Yeah, the last few innings have been surprisingly breezy
1 Asthix Fernrod!
1 TJ Gorsegner Finally, living up to your signature line
1 AdoreAdorno Buck's been unlucky at the plate
1 SooFoo Fan Huh
1 Cbrolin you're speaking too fast, can you slow it down a bit?
1 Klawitter A good one is fantastic
1 2wins87 Odo's got a pretty nice curve working for him tonight
1 SooFoo Fan Thanks!
1 TJ Gorsegner Its Hawaiian for...
1 montanatwinsfan I know, I am definitely still hoping for above average things from him.
1 Klawitter Exactly!
1 SooFoo Fan That White Bear Lake superstore commercial is awful
1 montanatwinsfan oh wait nevermind your'e too young for that joke
1 James Fillmore It is definitely not a trap because the Twins are 0-infinity with bases juiced this year
1 TeamCrazyMatt You ain't gettin' him on that
1 TJ Gorsegner If you do seafood youre good
1 Klawitter Is catfish meat?
1 Cbrolin this mound visits thing is confusing
1 SooFoo Fan That's in the grass halfway to home plate
1 CG19 Is that one of those things like gym class
1 10,000_Sacks I'll take it
1 CG19 I mean, I like having him and all, but I still can't believe that was actually on his Wikipedia page
1 kenzertz 2nd on the team in HR.
1 montanatwinsfan we could do worse
1 Klawitter Yaz is plausible
1 James Fillmore +1 Grit Points
1 James Fillmore Oddly, the site I found says Carl Yastrzemski
1 TJ Gorsegner a factor, for sure. The biggest problem was that Verlander was Verlander
1 Pau from the sky-tinted water Sano should drop a sopt or two until he can cut down on the K
1 TawnyFroggy I have no idea what you just said.
1 Cbrolin now is time for the Sano dong I was mentioning earlier
1 TawnyFroggy I like this comment.
1 TawnyFroggy aaaaaaaah. The poor part got me.
1 10,000_Sacks BOOOOooooooOOooooo Sanó
1 CG19 -MSNBC
1 Imakesandwichesforaliving Tight fittin' jeans
1 SooFoo Fan Bux!
1 CG19 My dad and I checked the forecast and saw that Saturday has a high of 32 with snow
1 montanatwinsfan the clue to the answer was in your qualifier, of course.
1 TawnyFroggy Every game I recap has to last at least 57 hours.
1 CG19 Morrison needs to get a hit in each of his next 5 at bats to get to the Mendoza line
1 Cbrolin long games are fun games in the playoffs
1 Asthix These Stros fans making me want to go down to the game just to be obnoxious to their pitchers as well
1 Cbrolin [no title]
1 SooFoo Fan He'll be fine
1 Cbrolin "how about that?"-Dick
1 montanatwinsfan I'll guess grossman
1 Joel Hernandez I am just saying Jesus never had it this bad
1 a null entry Guys
1 montanatwinsfan wat?
1 Imakesandwichesforaliving Maybe they're stating fact.
1 Cbrolin huh?
1 montanatwinsfan I'm going to guess about 11y.o.
1 James Fillmore Morales was — but only before & after he played for the Twins
1 Asthix Only no homers
1 CG19 I didn't even know today was cold
1 SooFoo Fan Keuchel now stepping on the baseball
1 CG19 That should be a hit, not an error
1 TJ Gorsegner Sear on cast iron
1 Coach Farmer That Triple Rock po' boy had veg/vegan options
1 Coach Farmer Garv!
1 TeamCrazyMatt Which is nice
1 TJ Gorsegner I think it has something to do with the fact its colder out there than a standard refridgerator
1 TJ Gorsegner He tries hard and gets on base
1 TeamCrazyMatt Pace of play tho
1 TeamCrazyMatt Why must I have to sleep now
1 TJ Gorsegner I believe you mean "Canadian Soccer" site
1 kenzertz It's only the top of the 5th inning?!?!
1 CG19 Yeah
1 Asthix Did you hear his story yesterday about Puckett having to tie everyone's tie back in the day because no one else could tie it the fancy way?
1 SooFoo Fan woo

Congratulations SooFoo, you talk even more than I do! Sorry to Joel, no comment of the day for you! The people have spoken.

Have a nice night and/or morning!