Twins 4, Astros 1: Walks will win

Both starters (Dallas Keuchel and Jake Odorizzi) agreed they hated accuracy and had very hard times throwing strikes, walking a completely exaggerated 400 billion people. In fact, Jake Odoriferous walked the first batter of his first 3 innings, but thanks to some timely double plays, only one of those walks would haunt.

The Twins first started with a reversed call that gave Brian Dozier and infield single. Joe Mauer then walked as he tends to do. Miguel Sano managed to advance them over with a productive out, which allowed Eduardo Escobar to produce his own out (productively) with a sac fly. Robbie Grossman, never one to follow a fad, just hit a double to bring in Mauer.

In the bottom of the second Mitch Garver and Byron Buxton led off with back-to-back singles. Spring training heart-throb Ryan Lamarre then struck out. Brian Dozier walked (that might keep happening.) and with the bases loaded with Twinkies, Joe Mauer literally just stood there for 5 pitches and then strolled to first base with a well-earned RBI.

In the 4th, Jake Hors d’oeuvre broke his promise to Keuchel and stopped walking so many people. Keuchel’s 4th would be his last inning as he had already thrown 101 pitches. That’s a lot of pitches for 4 innings.

The rest of the game proceeded at a considerably breezy pace. Brian Dozier would walk 3 more times for funsies. Mauer would inch closer to his 2,000th hit with 2 hits, including one in the 8th that drove in Garver for the final run of the game.

Real-life closer Fernando Rodney got 3 out of the 4 guys he faced out in the 9th, securing the win. He then fired an imaginary arrow into the sky, perhaps ruining the day of an imaginary duck.

Jake Odoreater earned his first Win in a Twins uniform, while Minnesota rises to 5-4 on the season.

STUDS:

Brian Dozier: 1/1 with 4 walks and a few stellar plays in the infield.
Joe Mauer: 2 for 3 with 2 walks and 2 RBIs. He’s hitting .407 right now and I like to imagine that means anything.
Ryan Pressly, Zach Duke and Fernando Rodney: One scoreless inning apiece.

DUDS:

Miguel Sano: 0/5 with TEN runners left on base. (The Twins in total left 23 on which is not optimal.)

NO OTHER DUDS TWINS WIN!

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

# Recs	Commenter	Comment Link
10	TeamCrazyMatt	There once was an actor named Burton
9	Joel Hernandez	Productive outs is also what I call my bowel movements
7	Klawitter	I blame Thibs
7	kenzertz	You had me at sdiofjdfkm.
6	Imakesandwichesforaliving	GO TWINS GO
6	montanatwinsfan	right near the top, right up there near 'humility'
6	Asthix	I know how to pronounce their pitchers' name
6	TawnyFroggy	T
6	TJ Gorsegner	Holy sh*t lomo got a hit
6	James Fillmore	As Freud would say
6	Klawitter	Coined for the great Polynesian hitter, Joe Maui
5	TJ Gorsegner	I thought we had a site-wide conspiracy to deny those to Joel
5	Joel Hernandez	You finally felt my wrath
5	TawnyFroggy	WaaaaAAAAllllks will HaAAaaUUOunt wooOOooo
5	James Fillmore	Levar’s visor was malfunctioning there
5	Cbrolin	I've waited my entire life for this game thread
5	TeamCrazyMatt	[no title]
5	James Fillmore	He got Comment Of The Game Thread for that whole "Get thee behind me, Satan" line
5	TeamCrazyMatt	Try Hard 2: Try Harder
5	TJ Gorsegner	Lord, its hard to be humble
5	montanatwinsfan	The engines will never hold
5	James Fillmore	If the Twins reroute the antimatter inducers through a tachyon field and reverse the quantum polarity
5	TawnyFroggy	What a sad life you must have had.
5	gintzer	Let's go Lomo... Hit the ball like a Homo sapien who has superior hand-eye coordination.
5	montanatwinsfan	but does he try hard enough?
5	TawnyFroggy	Thanks.
5	Cbrolin	"No mo' po' LoMo!"
4	James Fillmore	If Robbie really tried hard that would be a homer
4	Cbrolin	TWINS WIN!!!!!!
4	SooFoo Fan	wooooOoooOOOoooWooooooooooooo
4	CG19	It caused a 30 second delay to make sure they're counting the mound visits right
4	Klawitter	No mo' po' LoMo!
4	TJ Gorsegner	Not OMG Math
4	TawnyFroggy	"Pitch to walk" is the future
4	Cbrolin	sdiofjdfkmfsndoifjfkesmdfcjfkm,sd
4	TeamCrazyMatt	"He's hit in every game so far, that'll be 9 games... Brian on a 9-game hitting streak."
4	10,000_Sacks	Stay hot LaMarre, hit them in!
4	SooFoo Fan	I have no idea what you just said
4	SooFoo Fan	Have to trick LoMo into thinking he isn't a Twin
4	James Fillmore	Always appropriate
4	TawnyFroggy	Maybe I'm secretly TJ Gorsegner.
4	montanatwinsfan	A Robbie Grossman sighting!
4	montanatwinsfan	He's 2.5 years old.
4	montanatwinsfan	Then we can blame you for Lanceless Lynn
3	a null entry	[no title]
3	Pau from the sky-tinted water	Like the early runs, like the Astro pitch count in the first also
3	Cbrolin	thanks
3	CG19	I didn't expect a reading rainbow reference
3	SooFoo Fan	and gets on base
3	montanatwinsfan	Says the one who so clearly has long dong envy.
3	James Fillmore	Life is like a shit sandwich
3	TawnyFroggy	I don't. Being a male would suck.
3	SooFoo Fan	A new meme, for a more civilized time.
3	SooFoo Fan	I mean if you have to dive it shouldn't be an error
3	montanatwinsfan	oh man I must be tired
3	TawnyFroggy	It was my favorite show not about teenaged girls saving the world.
3	TawnyFroggy	If you not lose long enough, you win!
3	Devereaux	Spring Ballpark Pass - Game 3
3	montanatwinsfan	Gladden:
3	James Fillmore	The Will To Win
3	James Fillmore	I know Catfish is a Hunter
3	SooFoo Fan	Tenderize it
3	TJ Gorsegner	Unless "Smoking" Jay Cutler is on your team
3	Klawitter	I've been to Hollywood
3	SooFoo Fan	Uh Bert
3	Coach Farmer	Not-a-hit-Joe!
3	Asthix	I'd Go Fo Mo Lo Mo!
3	TJ Gorsegner	The answer below
3	SooFoo Fan	Roughly a 4 hour pace right now
3	TJ Gorsegner	I was just wondering where the president of the Robbie Grossman fan club was tonight
3	TeamCrazyMatt	walks are haunting ME
3	Cbrolin	that's why I'd like to see Sano try pitching sometime
3	CG19	Mauer just got his OBP over .500
3	TJ Gorsegner	So like... last year?
3	Joel Hernandez	Hi
3	montanatwinsfan	and unhelpful
3	TawnyFroggy	Good thing that walk haunted you and not the Twins!
3	montanatwinsfan	where the hell is that Manfred 'pace of play' rule thingy!??!??
3	TawnyFroggy	WELL LETS SEE WHAT THIS NEW WINDOWS 10 MSPAINT CAN DO
3	TJ Gorsegner	Someone needs to draw up a comic with an old pitcher living in a rickety house full of the ghosts of his old walks
3	TJ Gorsegner	Fun fact... Robbie Grossman and Logan Morrison have the EXACT SAME number of hits
3	montanatwinsfan	he tries hard
3	TJ Gorsegner	Bregman is local-famous around Albuquerque, more than the rest of our crop of recent MLB players
3	montanatwinsfan	I'm not sure he can afford to drop too much Serum Glutamic Oxaloacetic Transaminase.
3	SooFoo Fan	That's pretty neat
3	CG19	I always find that sports cliche dumb
3	TawnyFroggy	I don't want one in THAT way.
3	CG19	I'm confused
3	Cbrolin	quit being overproductive
3	2wins87	That looked pretty nice
3	TJ Gorsegner	I already did!
3	TawnyFroggy	I agree.
3	James Fillmore	The kids don’t know Classic country
2	TawnyFroggy	I mean some people would say no.
2	Imakesandwichesforaliving	just trying to soften the ground
2	Klawitter	Never had a po' boy sandwich?
2	CG19	We can add hacking to your list of skills
2	TJ Gorsegner	What does Forrest Gump have to do with all this
2	CG19	He works hard
2	TawnyFroggy	I certainly have no idea what you two are talking about
2	James Fillmore	That’s "MahaLoMo"
2	TawnyFroggy	I don't eat meat.
2	10,000_Sacks	No more poor LoMo?
2	SooFoo Fan	I'm confused and unhelped
2	SooFoo Fan	fun fact
2	Cbrolin	oh
2	TawnyFroggy	Please tell the other robots not to murder me when the singularity begins.
2	TawnyFroggy	I didn't know you were a robot
2	TawnyFroggy	I went to Pizza Ranch once
2	SooFoo Fan	But in both cases, it all worked out in the end
2	montanatwinsfan	well, his fastball is pretty sweet, his fake arrows are prickly and ... well I won't speculate on how the chocolate reference might work
2	SooFoo Fan	12% left on my battery
2	montanatwinsfan	JOE MAUI!
2	TawnyFroggy	I'll still never understand how Pizza and Wild West go together.
2	TawnyFroggy	WINS TWIN BABY
2	Can't Read Good	Got wins go!
2	Theo77	Yay for baseball! AND A TWINS WIN!
2	Asthix	I'm excited for tomorrow
2	CG19	Now you have 2 devices to charge tonight
2	TawnyFroggy	I used to order delivery from them and make a custom pizza
2	TawnyFroggy	I'm already sad Dozier is probably gone next year.
2	SooFoo Fan	Otherwise known as "all four years of my college career"
2	TawnyFroggy	WOOOOO
2	CG19	Take that, Manfred!
2	CG19	This pitch count is bad
2	montanatwinsfan	woo?
2	Cbrolin	it feels like that really long WS game last year with all those homers
2	SooFoo Fan	Hey, I've been to Pipestone
2	SooFoo Fan	Let it rest for 10 minutes before eating
2	2wins87	Back to back games with infield hits for Sano?
2	montanatwinsfan	1996?
2	SooFoo Fan	Are you suggesting you cant get hits when you don't play?
2	CG19	I feel like this is the new running joke
2	montanatwinsfan	WOOOOOOO!
2	SooFoo Fan	wooooOoooOOOooo
2	Cbrolin	I agree
2	kenzertz	It's nice to have Byron Buxton in CF.
2	montanatwinsfan	well, maybe if he tries REALLY hard
2	Cbrolin	nothing
2	Imakesandwichesforaliving	marinade overnight
2	TawnyFroggy	Yeah, that arrangement of letters does not in any way make those noises.
2	TJ Gorsegner	as opposed to speed cameras.
2	TJ Gorsegner	HE TRIED SO HARD THERE!!!
2	montanatwinsfan	Yes he did, yes he did.
2	TawnyFroggy	LEAVE THE DOME ALONE, DICK
2	TeamCrazyMatt	Bollocks
2	SooFoo Fan	Ok, Sherlock
2	TawnyFroggy	ISN'T DEATH REALLY THE ULTIMATE VICTORY THOUGH?
2	James Fillmore	Studies have shown
2	TeamCrazyMatt	Walks haunt
2	James Fillmore	Well, for years Twins fans were sick of "pitch to contact" starters
2	montanatwinsfan	Your opponent's death?
2	SooFoo Fan	WooHoo!
2	kenzertz	I love it when Mauer draws bases-loaded walks.
2	SooFoo Fan	Science
2	CG19	Yeah, his second elbow is looking good
2	Klawitter	Someone smarter (or less lazy) than I should see who the career leaders in bases-loaded walks is
2	CG19	Time for them to say productive out about 20 times
2	TeamCrazyMatt	And now we wait 10 minutes
2	Joel Hernandez	I am personally hurt and offended by this
2	James Fillmore	Twins now 0-7 with bases loaded and less than two outs
2	TJ Gorsegner	Ugh. My internet is out
2	TawnyFroggy	Not losing still!
2	TeamCrazyMatt	Scored first
2	James Fillmore	Those modern high-speed cameras are sweet
1	OtherPTBNL	Grossman
1	Cbrolin	ah, I forgot about that
1	Cbrolin	I'm never coming back to this place again if this doesn't win comment of the day
1	Cbrolin	Grossy!
1	TJ Gorsegner	EE gets the RBI
1	TJ Gorsegner	Are we ever going to see Kinley
1	SooFoo Fan	They're keeping him fresh for the playoffs
1	Asthix	Babadook
1	Joel Hernandez	In Rob we trust
1	SooFoo Fan	Yes
1	CG19	He can if he walks less
1	montanatwinsfan	It's a bit more meaningful in head to head physical sports like hockey and basketball
1	SooFoo Fan	Lazy Dozier
1	SooFoo Fan	Cy Mchugh
1	montanatwinsfan	huh?
1	TawnyFroggy	Time to catch me a seagull and then get all of the dates.
1	CG19	What a try hard
1	TawnyFroggy	ROBEEEEEEEEEEEEE
1	a null entry	Robbie
1	Coach Farmer	Twins jersey with an Astros cap?
1	SooFoo Fan	ROBBIE with a RBI
1	montanatwinsfan	I thought 'those parents have a sense of humor'
1	TeamCrazyMatt	ROBBIE
1	James Fillmore	Don’t forget frat basement foosball
1	TeamCrazyMatt	Please don't literally Kill the Umpire
1	SooFoo Fan	I work there
1	Cbrolin	great play
1	Cbrolin	that was as smooth as it could've gone
1	SooFoo Fan	The best thing there is the chicken
1	Can't Read Good	Is he the closer? Seems dubious.
1	Cbrolin	told you, he got into McCann's head
1	SooFoo Fan	Everyone in the Midwest is a cowboy
1	TeamCrazyMatt	GIDdyuP
1	SooFoo Fan	20% on my phone
1	James Fillmore	Very much so
1	Coach Farmer	Good game.
1	James Fillmore	Neil Gaiman used to live near here
1	TawnyFroggy	Also Go Twins Go
1	CG19	I spent tons of time on MS Paint on grandma's computer as a 5 year old
1	Cbrolin	safe by like 3 frames
1	SooFoo Fan	It died
1	AdoreAdorno	Seriously went to Pizza Ranch for the first time tonight and I've had plenty of opportunities
1	Cbrolin	WOOOOO
1	montanatwinsfan	whatever you do - do not go to an indoor Asian shopping center/megamall!
1	Cbrolin	4 straight walks for Doz
1	James Fillmore	Hydrogen iodide
1	TJ Gorsegner	Postal code for Hawaii
1	Cbrolin	I'm ok with that
1	Joel Hernandez	I was not waving at you
1	SooFoo Fan	MaueRBI!
1	TawnyFroggy	Unfortunate last name for a closer.
1	Cbrolin	welp, that's a ba.......................oh yeah no one's on base
1	TawnyFroggy	Yeah, the last few innings have been surprisingly breezy
1	Asthix	Fernrod!
1	TJ Gorsegner	Finally, living up to your signature line
1	AdoreAdorno	Buck's been unlucky at the plate
1	SooFoo Fan	Huh
1	Cbrolin	you're speaking too fast, can you slow it down a bit?
1	Klawitter	A good one is fantastic
1	2wins87	Odo's got a pretty nice curve working for him tonight
1	SooFoo Fan	Thanks!
1	TJ Gorsegner	Its Hawaiian for...
1	montanatwinsfan	I know, I am definitely still hoping for above average things from him.
1	Klawitter	Exactly!
1	SooFoo Fan	That White Bear Lake superstore commercial is awful
1	montanatwinsfan	oh wait nevermind your'e too young for that joke
1	James Fillmore	It is definitely not a trap because the Twins are 0-infinity with bases juiced this year
1	TeamCrazyMatt	You ain't gettin' him on that
1	TJ Gorsegner	If you do seafood youre good
1	Klawitter	Is catfish meat?
1	Cbrolin	this mound visits thing is confusing
1	SooFoo Fan	That's in the grass halfway to home plate
1	CG19	Is that one of those things like gym class
1	10,000_Sacks	I'll take it
1	CG19	I mean, I like having him and all, but I still can't believe that was actually on his Wikipedia page
1	kenzertz	2nd on the team in HR.
1	montanatwinsfan	we could do worse
1	Klawitter	Yaz is plausible
1	James Fillmore	+1 Grit Points
1	James Fillmore	Oddly, the site I found says Carl Yastrzemski
1	TJ Gorsegner	a factor, for sure. The biggest problem was that Verlander was Verlander
1	Pau from the sky-tinted water	Sano should drop a sopt or two until he can cut down on the K
1	TawnyFroggy	I have no idea what you just said.
1	Cbrolin	now is time for the Sano dong I was mentioning earlier
1	TawnyFroggy	I like this comment.
1	TawnyFroggy	aaaaaaaah. The poor part got me.
1	10,000_Sacks	BOOOOooooooOOooooo Sanó
1	CG19	-MSNBC
1	Imakesandwichesforaliving	Tight fittin' jeans
1	SooFoo Fan	Bux!
1	CG19	My dad and I checked the forecast and saw that Saturday has a high of 32 with snow
1	montanatwinsfan	the clue to the answer was in your qualifier, of course.
1	TawnyFroggy	Every game I recap has to last at least 57 hours.
1	CG19	Morrison needs to get a hit in each of his next 5 at bats to get to the Mendoza line
1	Cbrolin	long games are fun games in the playoffs
1	Asthix	These Stros fans making me want to go down to the game just to be obnoxious to their pitchers as well
1	Cbrolin	[no title]
1	SooFoo Fan	He'll be fine
1	Cbrolin	"how about that?"-Dick
1	montanatwinsfan	I'll guess grossman
1	Joel Hernandez	I am just saying Jesus never had it this bad
1	a null entry	Guys
1	montanatwinsfan	wat?
1	Imakesandwichesforaliving	Maybe they're stating fact.
1	Cbrolin	huh?
1	montanatwinsfan	I'm going to guess about 11y.o.
1	James Fillmore	Morales was — but only before & after he played for the Twins
1	Asthix	Only no homers
1	CG19	I didn't even know today was cold
1	SooFoo Fan	Keuchel now stepping on the baseball
1	CG19	That should be a hit, not an error
1	TJ Gorsegner	Sear on cast iron
1	Coach Farmer	That Triple Rock po' boy had veg/vegan options
1	Coach Farmer	Garv!
1	TeamCrazyMatt	Which is nice
1	TJ Gorsegner	I think it has something to do with the fact its colder out there than a standard refridgerator
1	TJ Gorsegner	He tries hard and gets on base
1	TeamCrazyMatt	Pace of play tho
1	TeamCrazyMatt	Why must I have to sleep now
1	TJ Gorsegner	I believe you mean "Canadian Soccer" site
1	kenzertz	It's only the top of the 5th inning?!?!
1	CG19	Yeah
1	Asthix	Did you hear his story yesterday about Puckett having to tie everyone's tie back in the day because no one else could tie it the fancy way?
1	SooFoo Fan	woo

Congratulations SooFoo, you talk even more than I do! Sorry to Joel, no comment of the day for you! The people have spoken.

Have a nice night and/or morning!