Indians 6, Twins 1: Shoulda stayed in the snow

The Twins hadn’t played a game in, says here, 48 days due to snow; so they were a bit rusty coming into this game in Puerto Rico against Cleveland ace Corey Kluber. According to the broadcasters of Fox Sports 1 he’s the top super ultra pitcher and Francisco Lindor was going to hit 8 homeruns so the Twins stood zero chance.

Turns out they were kinda right! Jake Odorizzi started strong, but the dreaded three-times-through-the-order debuff he acquired in the 5th made him give up a 2 run jack to Puerto Rico’s own Francisco Lindor. Oh, and then in the next inning he gave up back-to-back dongs to Jose Ramirez and Michael Brantley. You never want to give up your dongs back to back. You gotta space that shit out. Anyway, Brantley also got an RBI in the 7th when he singled to professional outfielder Robbie Grossman (he tries hard.)

After that the Twins actually scored a run! Max Kepler and Brian Dozier hit some doubles to knock Kluber out of the game. Unfortunately Andrew Miller is also very good at throwing balls at an imaginary strike zone. It was erased in the next half inning when Yonder Alonso took Gabriel Moya deep. Where did the ball land you ask for the sake of the upcoming pun? Well, it went over yonder. No not center, it landed moya to the right! Also I’m going to go drown myself now.

Then presumably other things happened. Balls were thrown and possibly also hit. None of it mattered though because there was no more scoring. The Twins are now 7-5 and hope to split the Puerto Rico series tomorrow behind Jose Berrios. See ya’ then!

STUDS:
Brian Dozier, I guess.

DUDS:
Jake Givesuphomerstooizzi.

MY ROLL CALL IS ROBOTIC!

Comment of the day goes to me, twice, apparently. But those weren’t funny so I’m going to go ahead and give it to 10,000 Sacks because that’s a lot of sacks. Probably don’t need that many sacks, dude.