Monday Morning Minnesota: .500, Ex-Twins, and LoMo’s woes

I almost forgot to do this because I was failing at dating, but then I realized my real date is with ALL OF YOU, you unlucky fools. To break the ice, here are some links for you to click and then presumably read, but I mean you already clicked on this article which is all that matters for me so do whatever you want, sheesh. I think we need to see other people.

• After a depressing series in which seemingly every ex-Twin ever walked off on us, your Minnesota Twins are a .500 team. Unfortunately, according to Below Replacement Level, that’s the worst thing a team can be.

Also I just liked this tweet from some guy I’ve never heard of. Maybe he should write for us?

• Chin Music Baseball looks at 8 players who really flippin’ suck so far this year. You can probably guess who makes this Twins related.
• Using math or graphs or like monkeys learning over generations how to hit the right switches until they form a monkey society based around the ability to accurately compare two baseball teams or whatever, The Hardball Times finds that the 2018 Twins most resemble the 2003 Phillies. This is a good thing.
• Minor Leaguers make so little that I actually make more than them and I’m a rural Minnesotan with crippling anxiety and no formal education or practical skills. This problem is purely because owners are dicks. While this isn’t news to anyone, I think it is always a good reminder that siding with the workers is actually generally the correct stance, you capitalist pig-dogs.

Today’s soundtrack is the best song to ever grace a Pokemon OST. (Coincidentally from the best games in the series, fight me.)