It’s the same story.

The Twins played the New York Yankees tonight. The Twins got pulverized by the New York Yankees tonight. It wasn’t even close. The game was 14-1.

Twins starter Jake Odorizzi gave up two solo-home runs — one to Miguel Andujar, and another to Giancarlo Stanton. Didi Gregorius hit another home run off Rule 5 Draft Pick Tyler Kinley, and then Ryan LaMarre came in to pitch for the Twins. Yes. RYAN LAMARRE. And Tyler Austin, that asshole, hit a homerun off Ryan LaMarre.

I’m still trying to process all of this.

But, yes, in case you didn’t notice, it was another terrible game for the Twins against the Yankees. I mean — 14-1. FOURTEEN TO ONE. And Ryan LaMarre had to pitch in the game.

I’m going to bed.

ROLL CALL!

Top Comments

# Recs	Commenter	Comment Link
11	TawnyFroggy	TJ's already had his fill of Dick.
8	Daniel Carlson	Oh the humanity!
8	Daniel Carlson	I heard James Fillmore keeps him in his closet
7	Daniel Carlson	Pics or it didn't happen
6	montanatwinsfan	shhhh, Castro is up
6	Zoxide	My hate for the Yankees is unparalleled
6	montanatwinsfan
5	Zoxide	Yeah we need Dick
5	TawnyFroggy	Fuck.
5	kenzertz	I'm pretty sure the home plate umpire has a strong opinion on it.
5	montanatwinsfan	sounds like he's a real standup junior high school player then.
5	Joel Hernandez	Well someone has to clean up all the blood
4	TawnyFroggy	Whichever Twin is the current Twin at bat/pitching/about to field a ball.
4	TJ Gorsegner	Only one?
4	Coach Farmer	What a wet blanket base hit
4	Coach Farmer	First walk for LaMagic!
3	TJ Gorsegner	Speak for yourself
3	montanatwinsfan	yes,
3	TJ Gorsegner	His mom can do laundry in the morning
3	CG19	I find it weird that they're acting like the Yankees murdering a Rule 5 pick is proof of their lineup's dominance
3	James Fillmore	Well, LaMarre has a better ERA than Kinley
3	Coach Farmer	GARV HIT!
3	CG19	It'd be hilarious to drop a 7 run inning on them in front of a national audience
3	TJ Gorsegner	I just assumed a yankee fan would be a perpetual man-child
3	TJ Gorsegner	He tries hard and gets on base
3	Devereaux	The announcers made a good point
3	Daniel Carlson	Never give in to the dark side
3	SooFoo Fan	Mauer swings at the first pitch
3	TJ Gorsegner	Somehow we have
3	Pau from the sky-tinted water	Okay let's see if the Twins can shake off that Tampa series and come out strong.
3	montanatwinsfan	whoever's team wins, gets bottom tonight and can just lie there and relax
2	TJ Gorsegner	Compared to Bert?
2	myjah	Interesting night here in the Myjah household
2	TJ Gorsegner	I remembered I can get Dan and Corey on my phone
2	CG19	Stanton homer
2	TJ Gorsegner	Can it be 162 games
2	Zoxide	Yeah that didn't come out right.
2	TJ Gorsegner	Confusing and unhelpful
2	TJ Gorsegner	Infinte density
2	EmeraldTwinkie	Go Twins Go!
2	Daniel Carlson	I wish the best for Hildenberger, but just in case things go bad
2	Coach Farmer	Yup.
2	CG19	We need a 14 run inning to get LaMarre a win
2	EmeraldTwinkie	Tanaka has been less troubled by long balls at home, unfortunately
2	TeamCrazyMatt	i keep seeing r/baseball posts in my reddit feed
2	Coach Farmer	I think that is now two missed called third strikes on Stanton for the night
2	CG19	They should credit him with that RBI
2	Cbrolin	BOO YANKEES BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
2	Coach Farmer	WAT, UMP
2	Coach Farmer	FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
2	CG19	They've been using that word relentlessly
2	Coach Farmer	Dozier's hitting streak ends today
2	kenzertz	It wasn't in the strike zone.
2	SooFoo Fan	I feel like they've said relentless 12 dozen times
2	SooFoo Fan	Also the commentary on this game is grating
2	montanatwinsfan	wowowowowowowowowowowowowowowoow!
2	Imakesandwichesforaliving	Cheering at Yankee Stadium
2	Imakesandwichesforaliving	There's a new invention
2	montanatwinsfan	also, Grossman is not a 'young up and coming' ANYTHING
2	montanatwinsfan	We probably shouldn't even bother with a catcher, just throw Robbie out there as a roaming, try hard fielder.
2	TJ Gorsegner	At least the headline for this isn't "Guys"
2	TJ Gorsegner	Unlikely. I'm in New Mexico and I assume he's in Montana
2	TJ Gorsegner	Duffey has been lights out at Triple A
1	montanatwinsfan	NEWMAN!
1	montanatwinsfan	well, that's alright because
1	Asthix	Go Twins go!!
1	montanatwinsfan	awww,
1	Imakesandwichesforaliving	GO TWINS GO
1	Coach Farmer	I think the black hole opening up might be a bigger problem
1	SooFoo Fan	GO TWINS GO!
1	SooFoo Fan	This game will take 4 hours at least
1	TawnyFroggy	Go Twin
1	SooFoo Fan	gotwinsgo
1	Coach Farmer	Oh yeah, it was Hicks in the first inning
1	TJ Gorsegner	We're gonna score
1	Coach Farmer	xFIP should still be ok though
1	montanatwinsfan	please, please, please god - don't let Hicks beat us
1	James Fillmore	Too bad Bert’s not on the trip
1	SooFoo Fan	That's strike 3
1	Coach Farmer	LAMAGIC!
1	CG19	LaMarre is the next Gimenez
1	Pau from the sky-tinted water	Biggest bummer is I usually listen to the games while multitasking on other project.
1	Coach Farmer	Hard to feel bad about a first MLB hit
1	kenzertz	C'mon, ump.
1	Coach Farmer	Oh hey, hooray for our best defensive outfield!
1	CG19	2 straight hits through the shift
1	mikecardii	I think tnt has 'sclusies on the early series games
1	TJ Gorsegner	You and Greg should have some kinda of Gentleman's bet on the series
1	Devereaux	Ha ha lime tee shirt guy
1	SooFoo Fan	That's why you can't walk them
1	CG19	You can tell how excited the Yankees fans are about Judge
1	montanatwinsfan	tee hee
1	Imakesandwichesforaliving	YAY WE SCORED A RUN WOO
1	SooFoo Fan	SUCK IT
1	montanatwinsfan	WHY - even though I sign up as a Twins fan and listen to NOTHING else - does mlb.com ALWAYS give me the other team's radio feed first and then force me to switch to WCCO?
1	TJ Gorsegner	Damnit Tawny!
1	Imakesandwichesforaliving	Odorizzi fought the Judge
1	Coach Farmer	FU, anti-Doz guy
1	TeamCrazyMatt	Visions of RISP at-bats dance in their heads
1	Hayden A	NEVER BUNT HIT SINGLES
1	SooFoo Fan	The only thing they know is that Mauer won an MVP in 2009
1	TJ Gorsegner	I want Joe to get at least two more walks than hits tonight
1	gonzobob	Yes.
1	James Fillmore	No blood during an implosion
1	TJ Gorsegner	Lol. John Sterling is the king of homerism
1	TJ Gorsegner	That was-a spicy meat-a-ball-a
1	CG19	Yeah
1	10,000_Sacks	Dang
1	CG19	Mauer just needs to be able to push that bunt a bit further
1	montanatwinsfan	in their beds
1	TawnyFroggy	Sorry, its just what I do.