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Game 19: Twins at Yankees

Dear Lord of Baseball Abnerus Doubledayus, we call upon thee to break this sinister curse the vile Yankees have thrust upon us.

Yes Didi Gregorius, we know you are a minion of the evil Yankees empire. You don't need to make it so obvious.
Yes Didi Gregorius, we know you are a minion of the evil Yankees empire. You don't need to make it so obvious.
Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports
First Pitch: 5:35PM Central
TV: FOX Sports North
Radio: WCCO 830, TIBN
Know Thine Enemy: Pinstripe Alley (Especially that Greg guy)

Normally in gamethreads we use some stats, trends, or a sabermetrical approach to explain why our Twins are in a rut. Well when it comes to playing the Yankees, it has become obvious that there is some other kind of dark force at work and we must take a more drastic approach. The Twins are cursed, and we need to do something about it.

Now I am no expert in the black arts. Every time I've ever asked a magic 8 ball if a girl liked me I always got a "Most Likely No" answer. I assume it was defective, even though invariably it was right.

So as a novice in the curse business I turned to the best source of information available on how to conquer the unseen.....WikiHow.

They lay out an easy step by step guide which I narrowed down to three steps. I assume if we all follow these steps we will finally be rid of our Yankee masters curse.

STEP 1: Figure out if you are cursed

Do bad things happen to you all the time? Does milk spoil in your refrigerator? Has your favorite team gone 42-100 in regular season games since the year 2000 vs the New York Yankees? Then you are probably dealing with a curse.

STEP 2: Breaking the Curse

1: Find some strange plants and bathe with them, or burn them. Preferably both.

2: Babble incoherent things to made-up Deities and hope for the best

3: Consult professional help. I'm not talking about a therapist. No, hire real witches like at this site

STEP 3: Enjoy a Curse Free Life

Live your life to the fullest. Gone are the days of hiding in your basement prior to an upcoming Yankees series. No longer will a Twins-Yankees playoff series require months of rehabilitation therapy. The curse is over.

Today's Lineups

Brian Dozier - 2B Brett Gardner - CF
Joe Mauer - 1B Aaron Judge - RF
Miguel Sano - 3B Didi Gregorius - SS
Eddie Rosario - LF Giancarlo Stanton - LF
Max Kepler - CF Gary Sanchez - DH
Eduardo Escobar - SS Tyler Austin - 1B
Logan Morrison - DH Miguel Andujar - 3B
Robbie Grossman - RF Austin Romine - C
Jason Castro - C Gleyber Torres - 2B
Lance Lynn - RHP Sonny Gray - RHP
In other news, Spring is finally here in Minnesota! Enjoy a song about Spring by the brilliant NYC band Type O Negative

Have some curse breaking suggestions? Leave them in the comments below.