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Game 19: Twins at Yankees

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Dear Lord of Baseball Abnerus Doubledayus, we call upon thee to break this sinister curse the vile Yankees have thrust upon us.

Yes Didi Gregorius, we know you are a minion of the evil Yankees empire. You don't need to make it so obvious.
Yes Didi Gregorius, we know you are a minion of the evil Yankees empire. You don't need to make it so obvious.
Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports
First Pitch: 5:35PM Central
TV: FOX Sports North
Radio: WCCO 830, TIBN
Know Thine Enemy: Pinstripe Alley (Especially that Greg guy)

Normally in gamethreads we use some stats, trends, or a sabermetrical approach to explain why our Twins are in a rut. Well when it comes to playing the Yankees, it has become obvious that there is some other kind of dark force at work and we must take a more drastic approach. The Twins are cursed, and we need to do something about it.

Now I am no expert in the black arts. Every time I've ever asked a magic 8 ball if a girl liked me I always got a "Most Likely No" answer. I assume it was defective, even though invariably it was right.

So as a novice in the curse business I turned to the best source of information available on how to conquer the unseen.....WikiHow.

They lay out an easy step by step guide which I narrowed down to three steps. I assume if we all follow these steps we will finally be rid of our Yankee masters curse.

STEP 1: Figure out if you are cursed

Do bad things happen to you all the time? Does milk spoil in your refrigerator? Has your favorite team gone 42-100 in regular season games since the year 2000 vs the New York Yankees? Then you are probably dealing with a curse.

STEP 2: Breaking the Curse

1: Find some strange plants and bathe with them, or burn them. Preferably both.

2: Babble incoherent things to made-up Deities and hope for the best

3: Consult professional help. I'm not talking about a therapist. No, hire real witches like at this site HireAwitch.com

STEP 3: Enjoy a Curse Free Life

Live your life to the fullest. Gone are the days of hiding in your basement prior to an upcoming Yankees series. No longer will a Twins-Yankees playoff series require months of rehabilitation therapy. The curse is over.

Today's Lineups

MINNESOTA TWINS NEW YORK YANKEES
Brian Dozier - 2B Brett Gardner - CF
Joe Mauer - 1B Aaron Judge - RF
Miguel Sano - 3B Didi Gregorius - SS
Eddie Rosario - LF Giancarlo Stanton - LF
Max Kepler - CF Gary Sanchez - DH
Eduardo Escobar - SS Tyler Austin - 1B
Logan Morrison - DH Miguel Andujar - 3B
Robbie Grossman - RF Austin Romine - C
Jason Castro - C Gleyber Torres - 2B
Lance Lynn - RHP Sonny Gray - RHP
In other news, Spring is finally here in Minnesota! Enjoy a song about Spring by the brilliant NYC band Type O Negative

Have some curse breaking suggestions? Leave them in the comments below.