Monday Morning Minnesota: The bullpen smells and other tales of misery and woe

I’m sorry friends. If you are reading this I have failed in my endeavor to build a time machine to save Byron Buxton’s foot from imploding into a black hole that sucked away the skills of the entire pitching staff. That or I’ve created an alternate timeline and you fools are still stuck in this depressing one. Anyway, turn that frown slightly upside down and gaze in neutrality at these links!

• The runner sports ranked the members of the Twin’s bullpen and it is the saddest “power” ranking I have ever seen. Let’s all keep the writer and his family in our thoughts as he recovers from the immense emotional turmoil of having to write such a thing.
• Thad Levine tells the STrib that these horrifying losses will galvanize the team. Probably not literally, as I don’t think any one of them need a zinc coating to prevent rust. MAYBE Phil Hughes.
• Our old Pal Mikey B. looks at how a young Joey Votto watched video of really-good-hitter, Joe Mauer to help become a really-good-hitter himself. I have no joke for this one other than the joke that is the futility of our fight against the entropy of time.
• ESPN’s Christina Kahrl wonders where MLB’s first female GM will come from. Oh how quickly we all forget my totally real stint as GM for the Twins.

Today’s soundtrack is the opening theme to the second Edna & Harvey game because more people need to play them.