Byron Buxton: Back

After suffering migraines and a broken toe and a plague of frogs and locusts probably, Byron Buxton has been activated by the Minnesota Twins for this weekend’s series against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, USA.

[Pause here for general freaking out, screaming, running around your house/office/mall parking lot.]

Since we can’t have entirely nice things, the team optioned Best Minnesota Twin Ever Ryan LaMarre to Triple-A to make room for him. Why LaMarre instead of Robbie Grossman? Why LaMarre instead of literally anyone? I bet he could play catcher if you gave him a catcher’s mitt. They’re big and puffy and you can catch damn near anything with one. And if you or I can do it, you can damn well bet that Ryan LaMarre can catch a heck-ton more.

He was too beautiful for this world and this team. Hopefully he’ll return shortly and we can all celebrate Byron Buxton’s health, Ryan LaMarre’s gentle grace, and an AL Central pennant.