Angels 2, Twins 1: All mothers have been let down

Someone probably at some point once said “If you fly too close to the sun you are liable to get burned.” They weren’t talking about the 2018 Twins. That one would go “If you fly too close to absolute mediocrity, you’ll get thrown out at home and later walked off.” It isn’t as universally poignant, so I see why that version was never famous. Uh oh! I spoiled the ending to this recap about a thing you already just saw!

Fernando Romero and Shohei Ohtani turned the meat of this game into a pitchers duel, each only giving up one earned run. Romero’s solid start was akin to an acrobatic pirouette over a minefield as he pitched himself out of a handful of scary situations, while Ohtani simply struck out everyone. 11 everyones to be exact.

The Angels got one off Romero thanks to a lead off double by Martin Maldonado that was followed up by Zack Cozart singling. Romero got a strikeout and very nearly got Justin Upton to ground into a double play, but he beat the throw to first and the Angels got the first run of the game. Daaaaaaaaaaang.

The Twins tied it up in the 7th when pinch-hitter Joe Mauer, facing Cam Bedrosian, hit a single on a 3-0 pitch of all things and drove in a Ehire Adrianza, a runner who Ohtani was responsible for. They very nearly pulled ahead in the top of the 9th, when Robbie Grossman doubled with Adrianza on first. Adrianza, who had ran on the pitch, was thrown out at home plate thanks to a Mike Trout -> Ian Kinsler relay.

Joseph Patrick Gold-Glove Mauer was intentionally walked and then Bobby Wilson’s beard intimidated Angel’s reliever Jim Johnson into walking him too. With the bases loaded into full trap mode, Brian Dozier immediately popped up on the first pitch he saw. Zack Cuisinart caught it, and then probably blended it with like tomato paste and platypus eggs or some shit to make a smoothie to sell to 30 year old hipster joggers.

Zach Duke came in for the Twins 9th and did the thing you are taught in little league to do with the game on the line: hit the first guy you see. Maldonado’s sac bunt moved the bruised Chris Young to second, and then Cozart singled to left, scoring Maldonado without a throw as Eddie Rosario bobbled the ball that had already become slippery with my tears.

The Twins are now 17-19, but keep your positive pants on as Cleveland sucks now too and this road trip was very successful overall!

STUDS:
Fernando Romero: 5 innings of one run ball with 6 Ks.
Bullpen guys who aren’t Zach Duke: Didn’t lose the game!
Logan Morrison: 2 for 2 with a walk.
Joe Mauer: Very clutch, very tall, very much give him a danged gold glove already, I don’t even.

DUDS:
Zach Duke: What are you the duke of, Zack? The grand duchy of LOSING??????????? (laughtrack goes here)
Twins hitters in general.

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

Today’s Comment of the Day is TeamCrazyMatt’s great american musical “Poor Ugly Joel” coming soon to a stage near you! Provided you are near the stage I’m building in the communal garden next to my apartment where I will be performing this musical every Sunday.

Enjoy the last bits of your weekend, unless you are reading this tomorrow in which case sucks to be you future work week living person!