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Twins 4, Cardinals 1: Ladies and Gentleman: Bobby Wilson

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Jose Berrios’s gem is won on the back of some random lumberjack the Twins found in the woods.

St. Louis Cardinals v Minnesota Twins
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Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Jose Berrios was coming off of 3 consecutive underwhelming starts, but when he’s on his game his curveball is so good that other teams are lobbying to force the Twins to give it its own roster spot. Today? Today he was very very extra-special on.

Both Berrios and Cardinal’s starter Jack Flaherty pitched very nice games, giving up only one run each. It was the Cardinals who struck first, getting a run off of Berrios in the 3rd with two singles that sandwiched a groundball out. Delicious!

Minnesota’s first run came in the 6th with not one, not two, but THREE two-out two-strike singles by Brian Dozier, Eddie Rosario, and Eduardo Escobar. In the 7th, Logan Morrison, who I keep forgetting knows how to hit balls again, lead off with a double that instantly stopped dead on the ground, proving that Morrison is a dark wizard. (Maybe though it just hit the bottom of the outfield fence’s padding perfectly and wedged in there, but I prefer to think about wizards over padding when given the choice.)

“What should we do, Paul?” asked every Twins player simultaneously.

“ALL. OF. THE. BUNTS.” Replied Paul.

Byron Buxton, noted fast-run-guy, bunted the ball perfectly back to Cardinals reliever Luke Gregerson who threw the ball past the first basemen and allowed Morrison to score the go-ahead run. Buxton advanced to second and the play was ruled a single and an error.

Pitcher Gregerson didn’t want Fielder Gregerson to feel bad, so he went ahead and threw a wild pitch after Ehire Adrianza failed to bunt the ball a few times. Buxton sped to third, so Adrianza decided he should just ground out weekly to first. It was the sportsman thing to do.

Enter Bobby Wilson; one third man, one third myth, two thirds lumberjack, another third spatial paradox, one tablespoon beard. Cook evenly in the exhaust of a motorcycle. Stir frequently. Resulting mixture will be thick.

“ALL. OF. THE. BUNTS.” Paul reminded our hero.

So Wilson bunted the first pitch he saw foul. His beard wouldn’t have any more of that sissy baseball though, so on the next pitch he just hit his first homerun since 2016. Thanks, Bobby!

Jose Berrios was so excited for Wilson that he hit Kolton Wong in the 8th and was finally pulled from the game. Berrios’s final line was 7.1 IP, 1 run on 2 hits and a walk, and 10 Ks!

Addison Reed got through the rest of the 8th, and Fernando Rodney pitched a 1-2-3 inning for his 8th save of this young season. The Twins are now 18-20 and inch closer to the 20-21 Indians.

STUDS: Berrios, Wilson, Escobar

DUDS: NO DUDS TWINS WIN!

CALLING ALL ROBOTS WHO CALL ROLL CALLS!

Comment of the game goes to Imakesandwichesforaliving who let us know that go Twins go. Only two comments became green in that entire gamethread and I assume it is my fault for not shutting up.