Twins 6, Tigers 0: Lance Lynn takes time portal back to his better days

Lance Lynn has been accursed ever since betraying the Blessed Louis to join the Polis of Minnea, posting a Sky Captain 7.47 ERA in eight games & averaging less than five innings per start. He actually got through two Detroit hitters in the seventh inning, his longest outing of the year. Is he better, now? Ask Criswell.

Tigers lefty Matt Boyd had his TARDIS cloaking device engaged for four innings, holding Minnesota to one hit. But Paul Molitor put a Confundus charm on him in the fifth, and after saying “you shall free pass” to Mitch Garver and Logan Morrison, Boyd was taken out with (hopefully) a minor injury, and “The One” Ehire Adrianza doubled to break the 0-0 tie. Paladin Brian Dozier would plate two more with a two-out double of his own.

Two frames later, the Twins went all Ming The Merciless on Tigers reliever Buck “Rogers” Farmer rogers, whacking four straight hits to put the game’s outcome out of transporter range. Part of this involved Byron Buxton adding a two-RBI knock, Good Omens for him. Coming into tonight, since returning from injury earlier this month, he was 3-29 with a double and walk. He did, quite nicely, appear in a pre-game thing for local school kids about the dangers of bullying; they seemed pretty thrilled to see him.

Ryan Pressly, Zach Duke, and Matt Magill each smothered Detroit hitting like a face-hugging xenomorph from that one musical.

Robot Roll Call:

Thanks to everybody who joined in the gamethread, and tune in tomorrow for a noonish game. If you’re not sick! And if you’re sick, don’t cough on me! I don’t wanna turn into one of them brain-eating Vampires.

Comment of the game to kenzertz for noting that the Twins made a minor-league move for “X-Files” showrunner Chris Carter.