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Mariners 2, Twins 1: James Paxton is your new God, now

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Fernando Romero did everything he could, but was up against the Cruel Overlord of Pure Evil.

Minnesota Twins v Seattle Mariners
Laugh while you can, my friend. The Great Day of Reckoning will soon come, and all those who laughed at the Twins shall engage in wailing and gnashing of teeth. Plus, you’ll have to listen to Steve Miller Band CDs. So it is written, so shall it be.
Photo by Abbie Parr/Getty Images

In the career of every young up-and-coming pitcher, there are moments where he has to Prove Himself against an established opponent. How the rookie reacts to this challenge tells us a great important huge deal about his Gut Fire, his Inner Moxie. Will he get that Win? Will he cower up like an armadillo on bad weed and let The Enemy Triumph?

If any part of that paragraph made sense to you, seek counseling immediately. Fernando Romero was fantastic here, only a walk, wild pitch, and slow-ass grounder from matching Mariners megamaster James Paxton at being terrific. Paxton: 7 IP, 3 H, 0 BB, 11 SO. Romero: 7 IP, 2 H, 2 BB, 7 SO. Obviously, one set of numbers is better than the other, but would you take that Romero line every fifth day and buy him a donut to say thanks? Yes, you would. The good fellow’s doing spectacularly well so far.

The one Twins run came courtesy of a dong by Herr Von Max Kepler, who had an OPS of .483 against left-handed pitching last year. He’s up to 1.086 entering this game, and .696 against righties. Either numbers all are pernicious lies invented by Beezlebub, or Max is still a pretty young guy, so we’ll have to see how this plays out. (His parents were into ballet, which is the devil’s boogie.)

Comment Of The Game Thread goes to everyone who joined in, since this was a warm & lovely Friday night against an opposing pitcher Minnesota had little chance of beating, so we you sensibly glanced at the blog, had pleasant outdoor time, and went to bed. Robot Roll Call: