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Game 29: Twins @ White Sox

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Superman character Lance Lynn attempts to prove that, in fact, walks are not his Kryptonite.

Not a bad likeness. They sure got the forearms right.
Not a bad likeness. They sure got the forearms right.
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images
Time: 6:10 Central. Vegas Line: -115 MIN / CHW +105
Weather: Slight Chance Of Showers, Start Temp 81°
Opponent's SB Site: South Side Sox
TV: FSN. Radio: Stuff on CCO after weekend night games is wild

You'll remember Frank Thomas. A great player & great teammate who put Big Hurt on the Twins for many years, and had a wonderfully emotional HOF induction speech.

Like most players, Thomas looked for professional opportunities after his playing days were over. (Yes, he has money. Nobody wants to simply sit around at home all day.) Unlike some, who are swindled into dubious investment schemes, Thomas went a pretty safe route: he started his own craft beer line.

Unfortunately, it just didn't work out.

Craft beer is a snobbish, snobbish world. Imagine the record-store employees in High Fidelity, that kind of "cooler-than-thou" vibe. If you do something too normal, they hate it. Too different, they hate it. Their tastes are fickle and their judgment severe.

Thomas's Big Hurt Beer was described by its brewers as an "Imperial Lager." Imperial is a trendy word among beer snobs; it basically just means "more alcohol." If you get an Imperial Stout, it's dark and full of alcohol. An Imperial IPA is hoppy and full of alcohol. Since "lagers" are pale and not-so-hoppy, an Imperial Lager means a light-colored, semi-sweet beer that's full of alcohol.

In other words, malt liquor.

Now, I have no problem with malt liquor! I've tossed back a 40 or three of Rainier Ice in my day. But beer snobs took one whiff of it and hated the thing. On the premier beer-snob site, Big Hurt Beer got a rating of 2. On a scale of 100.

Thomas's Big Hurt Brewhouse died, and he reopened a thing named "35 Sports Bar & Grill," with different brewers. They made more snob-friendly styles such as Honey Wheat and Big Hurt Red Ale. In a location that looks absolutely amazing.

Alas, it was at precisely the wrong time. The craft beer industry is so crowded, and restaurant overhead so high, that brewpubs (places that make their own beer AND sell food) are dying fast. Most new breweries just sell beer on tap, these days. It seems that 35 Sports is no more.

No shame in that. Ex-Vikings player Matt Birk tried opening his own restaurant, called Matty B's, in the most gorgeous bar space St. Paul has to offer. It didn't take. Now it's a burger joint which features, on the menu, an actual Peanut Butter Bacon Burger ("add Blackberry Jam 99¢"). Which is five minutes walk from this atrocity. No accounting for taste, is there?

Oh, well. At least Tomas still has his cookbook out there. You can check out this recipe for grilled lemon-basil pork chops. Sounds better than peanut butter & bacon to me.

Starting today for Chicago is our old friend Hector Santiago. Who is also an old friend of Sox fans; that's where he started his career. Hector has bounced around a bit, largely because he doesn't quite have the stuff to get major-league hitters. He throws the normal four pitches, none very hard, but in the past he's used a cutter, a sinker, and even a screwball. That's the literal definition of "junkballer." If hitters are impatient, this can work. More often, it doesn't. 2018 Digits:

lynnsantiago

Lance Lynn's current miseries you know. Oh, do you know. Let's hope he starts turning it around.

Today's Lineups

Bert's Buddies
Hawk's Homies
Sexx Dragon - DH Leury Garcia - 2B
Brian Dozier - 2B Yolmer Sanchez - 3B
Max Kepler - RF Jose Abreu - 1B
Eduardo Escobar - 3B Nicky Delmonico - LF
Eddie Rosario - LF Welington Castillo - C
Mitch Garver - C Daniel Palka - DH
Logan Morrison - 1B Trayce Thompson - RF
Ehire Adrianza - SS Tim Anderson - SS
Ryan LaMarre - CF Adam Engel - CF
Lance Lynn - RHP Hector Santiago - LHP