Twins 5, White Sox 3: IncrEDible Eds

This Kyle Gibson versus James Shields match-up was actually quite the pitcher’s duel for a while there. Gibson gave up 3 runs on 3 hits and 2 walks (with Zach Duke letting that last run score because Kyle Gibson isn’t allowED to get wins) in just under 7 innings of work.

James Shields on the other hand had a perfect game going until the 6th. James freakin’ Shields. Luckily for out sanity, Ehire Adrianza would walk to make it a no-hitter. Finally in the 7th Eduardo Escobar would put the Twins in the hit column, causing Minnesota to collectively channel Nic Cage and thank him. Eddie Rosario would then come to the plate.

“Nice hit, Ed.”

“Thank you, Ed.”

Rosario would drive in Brian Dozier (who, for your EDification, lED off the inning with a walk) with a single.

“Nice hit, Ed.”

“Thank you, Ed.”

After Robbie Grossman fliED out, James Shields would be pullED from the game because anything less than perfection is UNFORGIVABLE on this White Sox team. Logan Morrison came to the plate facing new pitcher Luis Avilan and, and this is true, hit the ball fair in a way that it did not get caught. The LoMo double scorED both Eds and gave the Twins a 3-2 lead. Zach Duke would allow the aforementionED inheritED runner to score in the bottom of the 7th, bringing the game to 3-3 and keeping both starters from getting a decision.

In the Twins 8th, Max Kepler hit a weak grounder with runners on the corners, luckily Sox third baseman Yolmer Sanchez apparently forgot Joe Mauer was on third, so Mauer snuck home like a ninja, giving the Twins the lead. Rosario would continue EDucating us on how to satiate an EDacious neED for dongs by padding the lead with a solo homer in the 9th. The Twins wouldn’t neED it with Fernando Rodney pitching a 1-2-3 9th. The Twins win their 3rd (apparently) in a row and win a series! Maybe this is the start of something good, and further success will EDulcorate us of our terrible memories of that losing streak. It is a word, look it up.

STUDS: ED, ED and ...Kyle. Also Yolmer Sanchez, I guess. Thanks Yolmer.

DUDS: NO DUDS TWINS SERIES WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Row Row Row Your Robot Rollcall

Today’s Comment of the day is either Joel or about Joel. I guess this is the world we live in now.

If you notice any EDs I forgot to obnoxiously capitalize, please notify me and I will EDit them as soon as I am done eating these EDibles upon the EDifice to prevent EDema.

I’m deeply sorry for this recap.