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Twins 6, Red Sox 2: Eduardo Escobar the double-hero

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Get it?

Boston Red Sox v Minnesota Twins
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Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Twins starter Jose Berrios opened the 1st and 3rd by walking the lead-off man and allowed baserunners in 4 of the first 5 innings. However he danced out of those jams like he was dancing to some jams and had yet to give up a run.

Red Sox starter Chris Sale was perfect through 5.2 innings, AND, or so I am told, is Chris Sale. Ehire Adrianza decided not to wait for Joe Mauer to do it in the 9th and hit an infield doinker to the third basemen and reached first base. Professional shampoo commercial actor Taylor Motter followed by walking after fouling off an estimated 473 2-strike pitches pitches. (or maybe it was 4.) Sadly Mitch Garver was there to Mitch the Garv right in the er, and the rally was over.

Berrios made a two-out mistake in the following inning and was taken deep by Rafael Devers. The long-lost Ed, Eduardo Nunez singled afterwards but Berrios calmed down and struck out catcher Sandy Leon to end the inning.

Ryan LaMarre, who was angry I joked that nobody cared about him in the last Monday Morning Minnesota, started something in the Twins’ sixth with a lead off single through the left side. Joe Mauer got hit by a pitch while trying to bunt (?) and Eddie Rosario avoided the double play and managed to fielder’s choice Joe back to the dugout and put runners on the corners.

When one Ed fails, do not worry. We have two.

Eduardo Escobar walloped his league best 31st double to bring both runners home. Not even Chris Sale can tame el caballo. As an aside Chris Sale reminds me of a horse for some reason. He looks like one giant horse leg, basically. Maybe that’s just me.

Hey! The Twins have the lead, the starter pitched lovely dovely and everyone is happy! Of course the bullpen screws everything up. In the 8th Zach Duke allowed a 2-out single to Sandy Leon which scored Devers and gave the Sox back the lead.

Look who it is, Ryan LaMarre: harbinger of runs. He’d go ahead and draw a walk to lead off the inning against Robby Scott. Joe Mauer would get hit by a pitch for the second time (for the first time in his career.) because apparently now he’s too lazy to even wait 4 pitches to walk to first. Rosario failed again, but who even cares? Eduardo Escobar.

This entire recap should have just been “Eduardo Escobar” and then I hit publish.

Escobar singled to center, which got away from Jackie Bradley Jr, and ended up at third with yet more RBIs on the night. Sale, no longer able to get the coveted pitcher win was probably already planning on how to cut up a bunch of Eduardo Escobar jerseys.

But wait! There’s more! Brian Dozier would walk and then Captain Hustle Robbie Grossman smacked a real triple to pile it on. Ehire Adrianza flied out on what would normally be a sac-fly but Bradley threw out Grossman at home with a pretty exceptional throw. Watch it here!

The damage was done, however and despite a 2-out single, Fernando Rodney close out the game. The Twins are now “only” 5 games below .500 at 32 and 37.

STUDS: Escobar, LaMarre, Berrios

DUDS: NAY TO DUDS, THY TWINS RISE VICTORIOUS!

CHILL PENGUIN ROBOT ROLL CALL!

Comment of the day goes to Titus Decker for his amazing Eds poem that I want to dramatically read while I play the bongo and wear sunglasses indoors.

Good night!