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Red Sox 9, Twins 2: Porcello almost perfect

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But the Twins still won Game 163. So who’s the real winner? OK, Boston.

Boston Red Sox v Minnesota Twins Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Not only was Rick Porcello nearly untouchable on Thursday afternoon, he also hurt one of our Eds.

A dominant performance by the Boston starter led the Sox to a 9-2 victory over Minnesota, as the AL East co-behemoth managed to avoid a sweep at Target Field.

The loss seemed almost inevitable from the start, when Eddie Rosario was scratched with shoulder soreness prior to the game. (The team announced that it would not be an ongoing issue.) The loss was inevitable after the first inning, when Porcello plunked Eduardo Escobar on the elbow. Ed bravely tried to play through it, but exited the game in the third.

Without Eds, this team is lost, and Porcello toyed with the shell of a Twins offense. In seven innings, he gave up one hit, one walk, and retired the last 16 batters he faced.

As for the Twins pitching: You, uh, you read the final score already, yeah?

Kyle Gibson, as he’s done all year, did more than enough to keep the Twins in the game, giving up two runs over six innings on a day where even just one bad pitch was enough to hand him an L. The bullpen made a real hash of the rest of the proceedings, with the overworked Ryan Pressly (with an assist from Robbie Grossman’s inabiliity to field his position) and Matt Belisle standing out in their efforts to turn the game from competitive to blowout.

The only good news came during the 7th inning:

Whew.

STUDS: Porcello

DUDS: Pressly, Belisle, Grossman, the entire offense

ROBOT ROLL CALL:

See you tomorrow.