Twins 7, White Sox 2: More like Bad Game James

James Shields is attempting to resurrect his career in a low-pressure gig as a starter on a bad Chicago White Sox team. The former Big Game James found out how a resurrection really feels, as the Twins belted three home runs off him in a 7-2 victory.

The beating started almost immediately, as Eduardo Escobar continued making everyone love him with a 2-run dong in the top of the first. Ehire Adrianza followed that up in the second with an absolute shot off the upper deck in right. Yes, Ehire Adrianza.

Shields appeared to settle down after that, but with two outs in the fourth the wheels came off. Adrianza walked, thicc legend Bobby Wilson singled Adrianza to third, Brian Dozier beat the shift and drove in Adrianza with an opposite field bleeder to right, and Eddie Rosario demolished an innocent baseball with a 3-run, plaza-adjacent dong.

While the offense was crushing, Jose Berrios was cruising. The Twins ace retired the first 14 batters he faced before allowing a ground-rule double to Omar Narvaez in the fifth. Chicago’s attempts catch up to him in the later innings with a handful of hard-hit balls were stifled by boneheaded base running, with outs at home and third preventing any opportunity to make Berrios sweat.

Berrios repaid this largesse by pitching the second complete game of his career as the Twins salvaged a split with the wretched Sox. His finishing line is gorgeous: 2 ER, 6H, 10 Ks, zero BBs.

STUDS: Berrios, all the Eds

DUDS: Shields, Chicago’s baserunning coach if they have one

ROBOT ROLL CALL:

In other happy news, the Twins activated Trevor May from the DL and sent him to Rochester. Jason Castro and his bad knee replace him on the 60-day DL.

Enjoy your Thursday night, everyone.