Hi! The Twins might be depressing but look on the bright side! As a distraction they are probably still less depressing than your life.
- Willians Astudillo is actually the most interesting thing the Twins have going for them. Not just because everything is bleak and boring! Jeff Sullivan shares his Astudillo-mania over on Fangraphs.
- Mikey B and the Funky Bunch over at the Pioneer Press look at Jorge Polanco’s return and some of the international prospects the Twins are poised to sign. Also Ervin Santana still hasn’t hit 90 while rehabbing in the minors, so that’s some more joy for y’all.
- Nate Palmer of Puckett’s Pond wonders if the Twins might find themselves being sellers without anything to sell. Someone should nab up Escobar (and the last tiny remaining morsels of happiness) but besides that?
- This page is just a bunch of baseball quotes and they’re pretty great.
Today’s soundtrack is Lavender Town.
Who puts a cemetery in a tower, really? That was someone’s business model. Every like 25th dead Pokemon someone wants buried (and these are basically cockfights so I imagine they die all the time.) you need to build a new floor, on your tower, haunted by ghosts. And how thick is the floor between levels? More than six feet? Is there dirt or do they just cement your Sandshrew into a support beam? Too many flaws in this idea. Get it together Lavender Town Better Business Bureau!