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Twins 5, Blue Jays 0: Maybe we should buy?

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Alternate title: Eduardo Escobar Showcase for Potential Buyers

Minnesota Twins v Toronto Blue Jays
Eduardo Escobar moments before transforming into an airplane whose cargo was out collective hopes and dreams.
Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images

It was a very breezy game in Toronto (not literally, the roof was up.) with both Jose Berrios and Jays starter Ryan Borucki pitching 5 scoreless frames apiece to start the game. There were some first-and-third threats by both offenses. However, just like in my dating life, nothing actually happened.

In the 6th Joe Mauer attempted to fly out to left field, but in an attempt to be polite LF Teoscar Hernandez dropped it. Eddie Rosario moved him to third with a Productive Out™ which allowed Brian Dozier to sacrifice his fly and give the Twins the lead. R.I.P the fly, our holiest of martyrs.

Eduardo Escobar his his 37th(!) double of the season, and Robbie Grossman doubled both the pleasure and the fun by hitting one of his own. Borucki then induced a Max Kepler fly ball to get out the inning. Two unearned runs? More like Ryan NoLucki! My E-mail is in the masthead if you need to send me some hate mail after that pun. I’ll understand.

Berrios pitched a scoreless sixth and seventh, ending his day with a sterling line of 7.0 IP, 0 Runs Allowed, 4 Hits and 1 Walk with 9 strikeouts. Might be a keeper.

The 8th started with another Minnesota-Canada politeness battle with Joe Mauer politely declining to swing at pitches. Seeing this Jays reliever John Axford graciously threw most of his pitches outside of the strikezone, ultimately letting Mauer jog to first with a free pass.

Ed (the younger) singled with Mauer advancing to third. Brian Dozier struck out, then with Ed (the older) batting Rosario stole second.

Don’t matter though, Eduardo “All-Star anyway, fuck you” Escobar smashed a 3 run dong. If you think about it, that’s basically as valuable as cloning yourself 5 times and then having back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back doubles. So there’s some advanced analysis for the fangraphs crowd.

Trevor Hildenberger and Ryan Pressly each pitched a scoreless inning to back up Berrios and the Twins secured the series win!

STUDS: Berrios, Escobar <3, Bullpen dudes.

DUDS: NO DUDS WINS TWIN

Robot Roll Call!

Canadian of the day goes to Devereaux.