Who will the Twins trade next?

The Twins had already expressed, at least somewhat, that they were looking to sell at the MLB trade deadline. They made their intentions abundantly clear on Friday by trading both ultra-utility player Eduardo Escobar to the Diamondbacks and right-handed reliever Ryan Pressly to the Astros.

Call me crazy, but something is telling me the Twins aren’t done.

If the Twins are looking to sell off even more players before the July 31st deadline, who else might we see go? I’ve compiled the following list for you.

1. Brian Dozier

After selling Eduardo Escobar and Ryan Pressly, Dozier is by far the easiest player for the Twins to sell. Though Dozier hasn’t exactly been “on fire” — he’only hitting .228/.310/.414 in 2018 — he’s been known to turn it up in the second half. Maybe that will be enough to attract traders? Or maybe not. I could totally see him staying with the Twins, the Twins giving him a Qualifying Offer at the end of the year, and him accepting it.

2. Fernando Rodney

I honestly don’t know why, but many other teams are reportedly interested in the Fernando Rodney Experience. Maybe because it’s exciting?

Rodney was great for a long stretch in 2018, don’t get me wrong. He holds a 3.35 ERA on the year with 41 strikeouts over 37.2 innings. He also has an option for next year. As much as I hate on Rodney, he could, maybe, actually work for a team in contention. It would probably just be way more exciting than they wanted.

3. Zach Duke

I swear to god, half the time I forget this guy is even in the Twins. I mostly just remember him on Joe Mauer’s birthday when they tell us Zach Duke was born the exact same day too! Crazy, isn’t it? On Joe Mauer’s birthday.

Joe Mauer is actually having a pretty good year. He’s hitting .284/.366/.378 with three home runs and 17 doubles, which just seems incredible. If the Twins don’t offer him a one year deal next year at least I have no idea what will do.

Oh wait.... was this supposed to be about Zach Duke?

4. Kyle Gibson

I SWEAR TO GOD, no one gave one giant green poop about Kyle Gibson until a week ago. What’s the deal?

Here’s my opinion: Keep Gibson unless someone gives you a spectacular deal. (Spoiler alert: No one is going to give you a spectacular deal for Kyle Gibson, you’re better off keep him. HE’S UNDER CONTROL UNTIL 2020.)

NEXT!

5. Lance Lynn

Hhahahahaha oh please. People think the Twins can actually trade Lance Lynn?

What are you going to trade him for? One fart that doesn’t smell?

6. Jake Odorizzi

Didn’t the Twins just specifically trade for Odorizzi to get a decent starting pitcher under team control for a couple years? I feel like this is the same as Gibson: Give me a great deal or don’t waste my time.

7. Joe Mauer

How cool would it be if we traded Joe Mauer to the Hiroshima Toyo Carp? Just imagine the look on his face. lol!

Just kidding, of course. Joe Mauer has a full no trade clause because he is never going anywhere, and we’d never want him to go anywhere.