Kyle Gibson, professional mustache grower, started for the Dozierless Twins today opposite Trevor Bauer. Twins fans took some time off from exploring the pros of nihilism to huddle together and watch a clash between the two best teams in the Al Central. Wait, is that right? Wow. It is rough to be mid-western.
The Twins got on the board first with some small ball that would make Tom Kelly proud. Miguel Sano started the bottom of the second with a double. Ehire Adrianza got him to third with the power of bunting and then Jake Cave sac’ed up a fly.
Aside: If you mirror an “h” and then underline it you get a “d.” which allows Ehire to become Edhire. These are the compromises we as a single-ed society must get used to.
This is the Twins we’re talking about though, so obviously Gibson had to misplace his talent the very next inning and give that run back with interest. A double, single and walk loaded the baseball with ...cleves, one of whom would score when Michael Brantley bounced into a double play. Lucky! Jose Ramirez then doubled in a run. Less lucky!
Gibson would give up another run in the 5th (Again off the bat of Ramirez.) but Logan Morrison, clearly excited that another Logan was on his way, hit a dinger in the 6th to take that run back.
Still losing though.
Hey, have you heard the good news? Matt Belisle still plays for the Twins! Whoops, he gave up 2 runs. That might keep happening.
Onto the 9th! Trevor May came in to pitch for the first time since 2016. That’s a hell of an accomplishment, no matter where his career goes from here. It was a somewhat rough inning, but after giving up a run on Edwin Encarnacion’s fielder’s choice he induced an inning ending double play.
Baseball over. The Twins fall to 49-57, which again, is somehow better than three entire other teams in this division. Wow!
Max Kepler: 2 for 4 with a double.
Logan Morrison: Resident of Dongtown USA.
Addison Reed: Scoreless inning in relief. (Turns out that’s allowed, you guys!)
Trevor May: Back in the Bigs, baby!
Matt Belise, Eddie “0 for 5” Rosario
Robot’s are rolling all of my calls!
Comment of the Day goes to James Fillmore for whatever he said, but mostly for getting more recs than Joel.