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Twins 6, Orioles 2: Twins beat up bad team and injured pitcher

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In the annals of Guy Who’s Getting A Shot But May Not Last, I like me some Jake Cave.

Baltimore Orioles v Minnesota Twins
Jake Cave saw a butterfly about to be hit by a baseball and he saved the butterfly. He’s into butterflies. Like Nabokov.
Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

During a Tourism Bureau beautiful evening, Minnesota wonned over the MLB-last Baltimore Orioles, proving that a team on pace to lose 90+ games can sometimes beat another team on pace to lose 115+ games.

Some of your favorite floundering Twins hitters had themselves the kind of games that might have convinced you to think “look out, Cleveland!” a few months ago. Joe Mauer, Jorge Polanco, and Mitch Garver had two hits apiece. Max Kepler launched his season’s ninth dong.

That’s less impressive than it sounds, as Baltimore was starting young Dylan Bundy for the first time after he suffered a nasty-sounding ankle injury (caused by running the bases during an interleague game). Bundy did not look sharp tonight, and was gone after falling behind 0-6 in the fourth inning. Hopefully he’s fine, and hopefully Orioles management isn’t risking a young player’s long-term health by going into “save our jobs” mode. Because that is A) wrong and B) will not work.

The Twins pitchers were not exactly impressive either, considering Baltimore (AL’s worst in OBP) did rack up elevn hits and two walks. But, hey, it’s not like Lance Lynn or Ryan Pressly have displayed consistent dominance this year, so giving up a total of two runs is perfectly fine.

It didn’t hurt either hurler that the Twins defenders were having some fun. First, on Lynn’s opening pitch to Tim Beckham, I say ye Jake Cave:

Then, when Pressly looked in danger of melting down, it was Eddie Rosario’s turn:

ED also went 2-4 on the night, but you ain’t shocked. Logan Morrison was 0-4 with an error, you ain’t shocked. Robot Roll Call:

Comments Of The Game Thread go to TeamCrazyMatt for discovering that Matt Belisle is an anagram for “let’s blame it,” and kenzertz for discovering that Mauer is now just one career hit behind 19th-century player Jack Glasscock.

Afternoon game tomorrow!