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Twins 5, Tigers 4: Joe Mauer still better at baseball than me or you

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Our favorite Twin who has twins wins the game.

Detroit Tigers v Minnesota Twins
At the advanced age of 64, Mauer continues to smack baseballs severely.
Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

In a late-game pinch-hitting appearance, Joe Mauer hit a homer which made the Twins win.

This was completely a snoozer of a game until Joe’s reminder of why he is awesome. I don’t have cable, so I’m not sure how Dick & Bert were calling it, but Gladden & Provus were completely checked out.

Those are the radio guys, if that wasn’t clear.

Twins starter Kyle Gibson continued his strong season, allowing three runs over seven innings. Two of them in a bad inning with a wild pitch. The Tigers’ starter, a good person named Matt Boyd, stymied Minnesota batters for awhile, only getting into trouble in his seventh, when Mr. Mauer was brought in to pinch-hit for Ehire Adrianza.

With Jake Cave and someone called Johnny Field on base, Mauer placed a 3-2 pitch into the pleasant, not-ferociously-overpriced seats. Joe Mauer knows how to hit baseballs, people. I know this is shocking news.

Matt Magill did his best to let that lead go, yet Taylor Rogers got the final out to put Minnesota at five games under .500.

Comment Of The Game goes to Mr. Rogers, for saying postgame on WCCO that “I hope someday I hit puberty.” Robot Roll Call:

Thanks to the folks who commented on this one!