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Tigers 4, Twins 2: Joe Mauer is an On-Base god

Also Twins lose, but who even cares anymore?

MLB: Detroit Tigers at Minnesota Twins
Jordan Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

Joe Mauer is a living legend, and we tend to forget that. It is actually insanely special to have watched a hometown dude become the MVP, the Batting Champ, the Gold Glover, and if their is any justice in the world, the future hall of famer. (I swear a blood oath this day that if Joe doesn’t make the HoF I will be vaguely passive-aggressive about it online.) He’s done it all while being basically a walking caricature of a Minnesotan, and by golly he’s done it again.

With a leadoff single in the first, Joe reached base for a club record 3,073rd time, passing Harmon Killebrew for the franchise base-reacher crown. He would even tag on two more with an extra hit and walk. Thanks Joe! It has me wondering if I’ve ever done any single task successfully 3,073 times in my life. That’s like once every 3 days. I’m not even sure I’ve successfully put clothes on once ever three days.

The point is Joe Mauer is amazing, and if you say otherwise you and your entire family should be ashamed.

After Joe’s single, he’s advance a base on a wild pitch and score when Jorge Polanco brought a double on down. On the pitching side, Opener Gabriel Moya and Somewhat less-opener Kohl Stewart would combine for 7 scoreless innings. Stewart’s six innings were stellar, giving up only two hits and striking out 5. Unfortunately for the 1-0 lead, in the 8th the current pitcher would stop being Stewart and start being, ugh, Trevor Hildenberger. Hildenboigz would give up three singles and a walk (with a strikeout somewhere in there) and suddenly the Tigers had two runs. The other Trevor (Trevor May) would come in to attempt to save the day, and I like to imagine at somepoint someone said “Trevor is struggling, better put in Trevor!” and the Trevor ran in and gave Trevor a knowing nod.

Anyway Trevor then gave up a double, letting the two previously Trevor-allowed baserunners to score. 4-1 Tigers. Thanks Trevor.

Joe Mauer, of course, would lead off the bottom of the 8th with a single, attempt to take 2nd on a wild pitch and end up at 3rd thanks to an errant throw. Jake Cave would then Jake Pave the way to a run by hitting Joe in.

More runs didn’t happen though. Twins lose! Hildenberger now has 4 blown saves despite not even being the closer, so that’s a fun little statistic. Tell it to people at parties and you’ll be sure to make tons of friends! (Unless it happens to be Hildenberger’s birthday party. Best not bring it up there.)

STUDS: JOSEPH PATRICK MAUER, Kohl probably-not-Patrick Stewart.

DUDS: The Trev-Trev Experience

Robotic Roll Call?!

Comment of the Day goes to Dan Carlson who said “Joel.” Deal with it.

This should be my last recap this season, so I wanted to take a moment to thank all you lovely people for putting up with me for yet another season! I’ll see you all next season (or, y’know, every Monday still anyway.)