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Astros 5, Twins 2: How not to open

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This MAY not have been the best idea. (GET IT??????)

Minnesota Twins v Houston Astros Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images

The Twins opened the game with an opener (Trevor May) who opened the bottom of the 1st by giving up a single to George Sprnger. Soon the scoring would be opened as well, after Jose Altuve lined out, Alex Bregman would double Springer in. It wouldn’t be that last time Bregman would double, as today he passed Eduardo Escobar for the MLB lead in doubles. What a jerk! After Carlos Correa popped out, May gave up an RBI single to Tyler White followed by a two run dong to Yuli Gurriel. What an opening!

If it sounds like I’m critical of the opener role, I’m actually not. It is a sound idea, and I still believe May could have a future there. In a season like this it is too easy to be angry at everything all of the time (something I like to do for fun!) but you always have to give things a little more of a chance than two whole games. Three whole games at least! Then it is confirmed science.

Robbie Grossman lead off the second with a single off Astros starter Justin Verlander. Dunno who he is, must be a rookie. Jake Cave of the Jake cave then struck out. Miguel Sano would walk and then advance to second on a while pitch, injuring himself while sliding into second. Sano writhed in pain for a few solid minutes before being carted off the field and I wouldn’t be surprised if his season was over.

This season sucks.

Max Kepler would walk to load the bases with 2 outs but absolutely nothing would come of it, the shock of which would resuscitate dozens of unconscious people across the continental united states.

The Continuer(?) who got the 2nd for the Twins would be rookie Kohl Stewart, and boy did he have a really good game. He would go on to pitch 5 scoreless innings and strike out as many as hits allowed with 3 apiece.

Unfortunately the Twins offense couldn’t quite make up the early deficit. Robbie Grossman had an RBI double in the 3rd, but the Twinkles wouldn’t score again until the 9th when Jorge Polanco came on down to Twinkie Town and smashed a solo dong. The Twins would get two more on with 1 out and force the Astros to bring in Roberto Osuna. Max Kepler absolutely scorched a ball down the right field line, but unfortunately it was caught and the runner was doubled up at first to end the game.

Sometimes you try so hard and you get so far, but in the end it does not even matter.

STUDS: Robbie, Kohl Stewart
DUDS: Trevor May

ROBOT ROLL CALL!

The comment of the game goes to a comment so sweet it became a tweet.

Merry frickin’ Christmas and a happy new year.