Hope you all had a good weekend! Even you Jeff. Here are words you can click for more words! Journalism!
- LEN3 thinks the Twins will sign another pitcher, and I can prove it!
The Twins will sign at least one more pitcher https://t.co/VJryUc8k72— LaVelle E. Neal III (@LaVelleNeal) January 16, 2019
This is backed up by Derek Falvey’s comments reported by Betsy Helfand of the Pioneer Press in which he says it might be a non-roster invitee or maybe a real actual pitcher.
- One of the dudes on the Twins short list appears to be ex-Oriole Brad Brach.
I know Brad Brach is somewhere on their list. They've let a few relievers slip off the board, but there is still time to add someone. https://t.co/QVV0f91LFe— LaVelle E. Neal III (@LaVelleNeal) January 17, 2019
At some point I’ll call him “Brad Bracholli” or ‘Johan Sebastian Brach” or “Brad Brach sends out Onyx” and get maybe 7 likes on Twitter causing my parents to finally stop pretending to not know me when I run into them in public. So I’m pro Brach. (He’s also a pretty decent reliever.)
- The Twins signed throw-guy Martin Perez to a one year deal, a pitcher I can assure is real and not made up. In fact he’s so real that the Beyond the Box Score piece I just linked says Perez has “not had a good career to date.” So start stashing away money for that commemorative 2019 WS Champs toaster or whatever.
- Here’s a Souhan article about new Twins manager Rocco Baldelli. I don’t know if it is good because I’ve ran out of free articles to view, so you tell me. Sorry Star Tribune, I know you printed my dumb Twitterings in the margins once, but that 99 cents a month goes towards my Sour Patch Kids fund.
- Mostly I just wanted to remind you all of how cosmically delightful it is that Rocco Baldelli is actually bald.
Today’s soundtrack is from the very underrated Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility, a game that will always be my pathetic alternative to actually putting work into an actual relationship with actual humans.
Why can’t I just run up to a guy every morning for a year and silently give him a fish and then we’re soulmates?