T.C. Bear applicants must wrestle bear in order to be considered

The mascot supervisor position has opened up for the Minnesota Twins this off season after parting ways with their previous mascot supervisor, who had been inside the mascot uniform since T.C. Bear’s inception. Job post #907 on the Twins website lists quite a few of requirements, including a height requirement due to the size of the mascot uniform, technological experience (Microsoft Office Suite), physical skills, and more. However, reports have been popping up from potential candidates that one requirement is missing from the list: applicants have to wrestle a live bear.

“Oh yeah, we’re not fooling around here,” said Derek Falvey, President of Baseball Operations. “We need someone who is going to go above and beyond the call of being the team mascot, and we couldn’t think of any other way to prove that than wrestling a live bear.”

The idea actually came from a group of elementary school students, said one intern, who wished to comment anonymously. “We were at Waite Park Elementary visiting the students in the gymnasium and [General Manager Thad Levine] went up to the microphone and screamed, ‘WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE T.C. DO?!’,” she commented. “None of us had any clue what was going on, but the kids just started screaming ideas and one of them screamed, ‘FIGHT A BEAR,’ and there you have it.”

According to applicants, they have been instructed to meet at Target Field at 4:30am on December 15 to board a school bus up to an undisclosed location in northern Minnesota. From there, they will apparently pair up and videotape each other fighting a bear out in the woods. Some rules that came with the information includes:

• Protective gear is allowed.
• No weapons - just good old-fashioned wrestling moves.
• Wrestling match has to be recorded in full by the partner.
• No tag-teaming allowed.
• Bear must be found and wrestled by each partner within 24 hours.

“Yeah, I think I have a good chance,” said Shawn Jacobson of Comfrey, Minnesota. “You don’t see a lot of bears in the southern part of the state, but I was in wrestling for a year or two in middle school, so there’s some experience there.” Jacobson declined to reveal what his plan is for wrestling a furry beast.

Linda Miller of Ellsworth, Wisconsin, said that she wasn’t aware of the bear wrestling requirement. “Oh, hell no. I’m not going to do anything like that. I didn’t even know I actually had to be the mascot during the job. Screw that.”

One applicant, Jennifer Crzynski from Wheaton, Minnesota, said she’s been preparing her whole life for something like this. “I’ve been weightlifting since my college days to be the mascot for the Twins,” she said. “I’m definitely ready to take down some measly bear.”

The final decision to choose the person playing the lovable bear will be announced prior to Spring Training in 2020.