Monday Morning Minnesota: Sign Wheeler already edition

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Previously on Twinkie Town:

• Jon assembled the Minnesota Twins all-decade team, which also drove home just how good the current roster is. The Twins are the only good thing about the current timeline.
• Sandwichlad dropped some expertly crafted satire that entrapped the souls of millions in an endless cycle of tormented rage.
• Ben made the case for Minnesota to pursue a trade for the Orioles’ starter Dylan Bundy. I want this to happen purely so I can come up with some sort of horrible Crocodile Bundee story.
• Cooper’s Free Agent Predict-a-thon continued not once, but twice! If he’s wrong and the Twins don’t nab Zack Wheeler, it will be Cooper’s fault personally.

Elsewhere in Twins Territory:

• Speaking of Wheeler!

• BringMeTheNews is in on the Twins signing another (now ex) Oriole, Jonathan Villar. Why not be an entire team of super-utility players? John Stuart Mill would be proud.
• Having good luck with Mitches as of late, the Twins signed yet another former Oriole to a minor league deal. This time left-hander Mitch Horacek, a totally real name I didn’t just make up.
• Twins Daily looks back at one of the better trades in franchise history, Ol’ AJ Pierzynski for Joe Nathan. Always trust closers with two first names.

The Wide World of Bases and Balls:

• The Rangers are looking to do with Kyle Gibson what they did with Lance Lynn. Which reminds me, I wonder who TJ’s new obsession will be.
• Ichiro decided to pitch a game against some high-school teachers for some reason. Of course he pitched a shutout, adding further proof to my theory that he is an immortal time lord from the Procyon system.

Today’s soundtrack is from my favorite Gameboy Color game. Get ready for some shrill beeps and boops!