Twins 2, Cleveland 0: Jose Berrios and the Twins MarWIN

Two of the AL Central’s best pitchers met and did exactly what you would expect, giving us two masterful, and really hard to entertainingly recap, pitching performances. José Berríos and Clevland's ace Corey Kluber were both perfect through the first three innings which lasted roughly about 12 seconds each as everyone struck out over and over. Many good jokes were had about the team being on pace to play this same game until the heat death of the universe finally forced them to stop, still 0-0 as animated skeletons still playing in the void of space.

Leonys Martin lead off the top of the 4th with a double, breaking up the double perfect game. Berrios however was not phased by such trivial things. A pop out and a strikeout later, he harmlessly walked Carlos Santana on a full-count before striking out apparent still-big leaguer Hanley Ramirez to end the inning.

It would take the Twins until the 5th to get a base runner, when Marwin Gonzalez Marwalked to first base. The 6th would find the Twins getting their first hit (and double) of the year by none other than Byron Buxton. Max Kepler then flied out very attractively to left, letting Buxton move over to third. Unfortunately Jorge Polanco would then pop out to end the inning.

In the 7th things started to get real interesting. Nelson Cruz led off with a single, then after Eddie Rosario struck out, C.J Cron hit a single of his own. The Twins then finally got to Kluber when Marwin Gonzalez doubled them both in. Not wanting to be left out of the New Guys doing Cool Things party, Jonathan Schoop decided to get hit by a ball and take first.

So one could say the twins CRUZED into some runs to help them MarWIN the game! (Also insert a Cron pun in there, I have no idea I'm not actually good at this job.)

Berrios managed to get two outs in the 8th, but after Brad Miller singled, Rocco Baldelli made his first meaningful decision as Twins leader dude and ended Berrios's night. His final line would be 7.2 innings of near perfect ball, giving up only 2 hits and a walk while striking out 10 entire (not just partial.) batters.

Taylor Rogers picked up right where he left off last year and immediately struck out Greg Allen to end the inning, and would strike out two more in the 9th to make the win official.

The Twins record moved up to, hold on let me do the math, 1-0 and they will continue to be tied for first place in the central for at least an entire day. Dang.

STUDS: Berrios, Rogers, Marwin

DUDS: NO DUDS TWINS 1.000 WINNING PERCENTAGE

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