Twins pitchers at the plate

The Twins have to take a swing through some National League parks for their next couple series. That means pitchers, at least starting pitchers batting. This is less than ideal. The Twins pitchers, as a group, will be lucky to put the ball in play during these five games in Philadelphia and New York. But, rather than just writing them off, I’m going to detail just how bad it has been, in all its gruesomeness.

The statistics below may be disturbing to some readers, so discretion is advised.

Jose Berrios may be the best pitcher the Twins have, but he is certainly not the best hitter. He has ten career at bats, and four strikeouts. That’s Sano-esque. He does have two hits to his name, but went 0-4 in 2018.

Kyle Gibson isn’t much better at the plate, but at least he’s taken a walk. How embarrassing would it be to be the guy who walked Kyle Gibson? He’s a career .222 hitter, across 19 plate appearances. He’s also only struck out nine times. Only. He did go 2-for-2 in 2018, so maybe there’s some hope there? Like you thought I was going to end a Gibson paragraph on a negative note

If you thought those two were bad, however, wait til we talk about Jake Odorizzi. He’s hit .095 in his 26 career plate appearances. Eight more K’s here. Somehow, he has managed to move his teammates around the bases, creating three RBIs on two hits and a walk. Yeah, I don’t really get it either. Right place, right time or something. Too bad he didn’t do any of that for the Twins, he’s hitless in a Minnesota uniform.

Michael Pineda is basically more of the same miserable story. He’s got two hits in 11 plate appearances, but he also has struck out six times. That’s more than 50% if you’re counting at home. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Most of the Twins relievers will be mercifully pinch-hit for if their spot in the line-up comes up, but there are two worth mentioning here—long men Adalberto Mejia and Martin Perez may be asked to pitch multiple innings, if one of the starters falters early.

Mejia has one at-bat in the major leagues. He also has one strike out in the major leagues. Can’t wait to see him strikeout a few more times.

Perez, meanwhile, not only hasn’t hit his weight, he hasn’t even hit my dog’s weight. My dog isn’t that big. His one hit in 20 at-bats translates into a .050 batting average. He also adds 17 more strikeouts to the total. Maybe he should be pinch hit for too.

For those of you who have managed to read down this list of misery, thats 45 total strikeouts, nine hits, and two walks in 78 plate appearances. As a group, these six pitchers are hitting .118/.118/.118, if I did my math right.

When does the National League adopt the DH again?