Phillies 10, Twins 4: Jorge 5-5, Odorizzi 0.2 IP in sloptastic game

Let’s give you an indication of how sloppy this game was. Down 6-3 in the fifth, Eddie Rosario reached base with nobody out. Pitcher Martin Perez (why was he batting behind Rosario? We’ll get there) attempted to bunt Rosario over. He blew it, bunting straight to third baseman Maikel Franco. It should have been an easy double play, and Rosario was forced out, but then Error Happened and Perez ended up at second. He’d eventually score. So the bunt worked, sort of.

As some of you were concerned, the “we can surprise ‘em all” Twins pitching from five previous games looked pretty hapless against a loaded Phillies lineup. Jake Odorizzi started the night going walk, double, throwing error advancing runner to third, strikeout (of Bryce Harper!), single, walk, lineout, dubiously-called walk. Baldelli yanked him for old-ish rookie Ryne Harper, who promptly gave up a double to Mr. Franco.

At this point my wife said “sorry to interrupt, I know it’s your first gamethread of the year, but I’m not sure how we’re going to pay the house insurance. We can talk about it tomorrow.” I told her “that’s fine, I’m really not dying to hear the rest of this one.” (We figured out a plan, BTW.)

The good citizens of Philadelphia got to watch a game in low-40s, drizzly-to-pouring, gusty April-ness, with four errors and six Twins pitchers they’ve certainly never heard of. We got to catch up with old friend Pat Neshek, who is still good, and have Willians Astudillo stroke an almost-dong that would have been out if the weather hadn’t been so barfarific.

Reminds me of a time I was at Target Field, it was miserable and drizzly, and when the game was called a hot dog vendor yelled “THANK ****ING C****T!” But you’re not gonna call an interleague game if you can help it.

Twins pitchers combined for nine walks. My Oregon math tells me that’s a BB-to-inning ratio of More Than One. It’s not ideal. Harper ended up with the night’s best line. Trevor May threw a quick and effective eighth.

On the offense front, you’ve already read myjah’s post about Jorge Polancoville hitting for the cycle. He’d add another later to go 5-5. Byron Buxton didn’t play, which is really all for the best. Max Kepler hit his first dinger of the season.

My take? Hey, ugly outings happen, sooner or later. This probably screws up the Twins bullpen all weekend, but they have two off days next week, so it’s not like some kind of arm-melting stretch that can doom 20 straight games.

Your Gladdenism of the game: “This Friday, at Target Field, come join the Twins for Game Of The Thrones Night.” It’s a famous TV series, like Doctor Preposition Who.

Thanks to everyone who kept up the fun comments, with an extra helping of “glad you’re back” to veteran gamethreader Rahil! Robot Roll Call: