Yankees 6, Twins 3: Bad hitting, fielding, pitching, umping do not break curse

The Twins played in Yankees Stadium and they lost like always and the game was stupid and boring and you should just skip this entire stupid boring series.

That’s really the entire recap, yet I’m paid by the word, so I’ll use an old writing technique known as padding. Although the journalism world probably spells it “pahdeng” because they like to spell words like “deck” and “lead” wrong, it’s more professional-like.

The pain started exactly as you’d expect it to. New York’s first batter lined to Platinum Glover Byron Buxton, who missed it, and so career .734 OPS Brett Gardner ended up on third. He’d score. Next inning, C.J. Cron singled, Marwin Gonzalez singled, Max Kepler popped out, Jonathan Schoop walked, and Ehire Adrianza provided the obligatory GIDP. Commenter Mrmumph said “I doubt we get many chances like that tonight” and was entirely correct.

Minnesota would load the bases again one inning later, on two walks plus an error, and Byron Buxton tagged to score from third on a Cron sac fly. No more. For awhile, that seemed like it’d be all for the Twins’ super-potent offense — one run, unearned — but Nelson Cruz would dong in Jorge Polanco near the end to make the score 6-3. Didn’t matter, the game was already decided. It was decided when the Twins’ plane landed.

Kyle Gibson allowed five of those runs, although three of them won’t go on his permanent record, thanks to Byron’s error and a later Cron error. He did himself no favors with a wild pitch and hit batter. Nor was home plate umpire Rob Drake helping Gibson any. In fact, the Twins were barking at him all night. It seems some fans/players have had issues with this guy before.

Yankees starter James Paxton, despite wiggling out of those early bases-loaded jams with only the one run, had a hard night of his own. He uncharacteristically walked three Twins in his three innings before leaving with a knee injury. Proving my pregame prediction correct that Paxton’s recurrent health issues “won’t be a problem tonight.” That’s why they call me Nostrajamus.

With Gibson lasting five innings, Mike Morin two, and Fernando Romero a scoreless eighth, at least Rocco Baldelli has his higher-leverage relievers available tomorrow and Sunday in case Minnesota has a late lead HAH HAH THEY WON’T OR IF THEY DO THEY’LL STILL LOSE

Comment of the gamethread goes to TwinBob, who pointed out today was the anniversary of Francisco Liriano’s 2011, six-walk no-hitter. Sometimes teams can win sloppy games. Not if they’re the Twins against the Yankees, though. Robot Roll Call:

You could come back here for the game tomorrow at 12:05, but, really, why? Plant a vegetable. Or eat one. Spend time with a friend/family member/pet, or eat one. Life is short, and on your deathbed you will regret time wasted following Twins/Yankees games most of all.