Hey all! I’m filling in for the people who were filling in for me because apparently this is my job or something? Whatever, fine, here’s some links accompanied with bad jokes and some video game music an entire 2 of you will click on.
Previously on Twinkie Town:
- We’ve been busy lately giving Vox those sweet sweet clicks by feeding everyone on social media a healthy dose of articles to promote the growth of RED HOT TAKES. First Jonathan Gamble suggested the Twins trade for Lance Lynn. Dastardly! Later, newborn baby writer Alex Berger got all of our social media personnel murdered (btw I’m a ghost.) by suggesting the Twins perhaps trade Luis Arraez.
- Cole looked at some potential trade targets to target and bring back to Target field. I apologize profusely for how forced that sentence was.
- TeamCrazyMatt had graphs. Graphs about dongs.
- By the way, as TJ explained here, you might need a new way to watch them Twims starting today. I suggest buying a blimp and hovering over Target Field with a telescope.
- Matt also recapped the Twins’
win losswin.
Other People Also Write About this Team:
- Professional good take haver, Jim Souhan, realized that the best trades are the ones that work out. Wow.
- The Pioneer Press asks “Is Miguel Sano finally starting to figure it out?” Definitely don’t ask facebook! In fact never go to facebook. Stop coming on the internet at all, just to be safe.
- Jose Berrios is not happy that the Twins keep trading players away for nothing but cash dollars, per Puckett’s Pond. The yachts ain’t gonna buy themselves, Jose!
- According to our friends at Twins Daily, not signing any big relievers this off-season might have been a clever move. Guess you can’t argue with the results. Well, most of the results at least.
Elsewhere In Balls:
- Old friend Ryan O’Rourke got DFAd recently, so he immediately flew to Bulgaria. As one does.
- Mike Trout is Mike Trout and thus already has more career WAR than most Hall of Famers. It is absolutely crazy that he isn’t as big as Michael Jordan.
- Ben Lindbergh of the Ringer looks at 5 trends in baseball that are likely to be sticking around for the long haul. Boy I sure hope none of you are crochety old men afraid of change!
- Hahahahahahhahahahahaha
- sigh
Hey Today’s Soundtrack is The Lion King, because it is so darn topical. This music is ingrained in my head for eternity as I could never beat this level as a kid.
BYE