One team had pitching problems coming into the season. One team had offense problems coming into the season.
The team with offense problems went out and got more offense. The team with pitching problems got 77-year-old Sergio Romo and also Some Guy that apparently every other team in baseball knew was injured.
That’s your ballgame recap, folks — that’s your season recap.
Sunday’s superstar, Devin Smeltzer, fell back to Earth in a brutal fifth inning which also used one of Minnesota’s approximately two-and-a-half good relievers, Tyler Duffey.
Happily, Randy Dobnak, the new callup with a moustache who looks like every guy hanging around a microbrewery trying to meet girls who drink as much*, finished things out and prevented Taylor Rogers or Trevor May from pitching. Yay, team. Presumably Mr. Dobnak will be flown back to Rochester tomorrow for his efforts.
* — Note to these microbrewery bearded types; you don’t get off that easily, and I meant every one of those words. To meet girls who drink, or put up with you doing so, you gotta put time and effort into it. Is it worth said effort? I guarantee you, it is. But, if that’s too much for you, keep microbrewery lurking with your face fuzz. Maybe you’ll meet Jan from accounting, and the two of you can talk about investment opportunities for the next 50 years. Longer, if one of you dies first, and the other just keeps droning away.
* — Note to Mr. Dobnak: I realize you’re from coal country, face fuzz means something different there, I’m referring to Twin Cities face fuzz.
Anyhoo, the rest of this series features Jake Odorizzi and José Berríos, whom I’m hoping sandwiches didn’t jinx past the point of fixing, versus some kids Cleveland threw at the wall to see if they stuck, and, to this point, they have. Robot Roll Call:
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Tomorrow’s game will be at 6:10, and I won’t be watching it, as I’ve got a “Deadwood” marathon going on with somebody far smarter than myself. That Al Swearengen, he’s a bad guy! But Hearst is the worst. He hasn’t shown up yet; he will. From Wiki: “Ellis Albert “Al” Swearengen was an American pimp and entertainment entrepreneur.” Yeah, I suppose that’s what one might call it.