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Twins 10, White Sox 5: Singles Squad Secures Sweep

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It’s 2006 Apparently

Minnesota Twins v Chicago White Sox Photo by David Banks/Getty Images

The Twins started off this game in the way any team close to breaking the league record for dingers would; They slapped six straight singles and found themselves with two runs already on the board, no outs, and the bases loaded. Jake Cave, that scamp, didn’t want to ruin the alliteration of “Six Straight Singles” so he broke up the streak with a double play. C.J. Cron padded the singles stat afterwords for two more runs. Two more singles (and a walk) happened in the 2nd, capped in a Nelson Cruz single that brought the score to 6-0.

Leading of the 3rd, Jake Cave forgot that today’s game was some kind of 2006 Twins LARPing session where everyone tried to hit like Nick Punto, and went ahead and jacked a solo dong. The immersion broken, C.J. Cron decided to do the same immediately after. 8-0 Twins. At least for a brief moment, my chosen form of escapism stopped reminding my how single I am.

White Sox starter Dylan Cease had an odd day of apparently not being injured, but being so wild that the home plate umpire himself had to stop the game to ask if he was alright. I’ve never seen that before. Dylan would Cease pitching after getting zero outs in the 3rd.

Meanwhile José Berríos pitched 4 scoreless innings before getting a little wonky in the 5th and 6th, giving up 3 runs and throwing 3 wild pitches. I'm still kinda worried about him.

The Twins padded the lead with a Luis Arraez sac fly in the 5th, and ANOTHER Rake Cave dinger in the 7th.

The Sox managed 2 runs in the 9th, but since it didn't matter, future generations will not care about such petty details.

STUDS: JAKE CAVE RAKE CAVE PLEASE BEHAVE AS HE MAKES WAVES
DUDS: Guaranteed Rate Field's naming committee.

ROBOTIZED ROLL CALL:

# Commenter # Comments
1 Joefishy 38
2 Imakesandwichesforaliving 16
3 Sportsavenue 12
4 Mrmumph 11
5 Asthix 10
6 Raarules6 7
7 2wins87 7
8 Coach Farmer 6
9 jere.johnson.37 5
10 wayback 3
11 Lars in SLP 2
12 SooFoo Fan 1
13 gintzer 1
14 TeamCrazyMatt 1
15 Uncle Lincoln 1
16 CarlJ47 1

2wins87 gets comment of the day with "Players these days have lost the art of bunting into fights - They just don’t teach it in the minors anymore"

Congrats, but I'm pretty sure the Twins won more than 2 games in 87.