Sorry for the late recap, literally all of us had work commitments this afternoon.
Today’s recap will be a little different — I’ll let you choose to recap it however you want, by giving you two choices of what may have happened [in brackets like this]. One will be reality, and the other will be what happened in a different, better reality. Lets see how the Twins do...
The game started out on a [positive/negative] note, as Martin Perez [gave up three runs, including two solo bombas/was a competent pitcher.] Ozzie Albies and Freddie Freeman both [stroked dongs/did literally anything else] and Charlie Culberson and his great hair [doubled in a run/quit baseball to focus on doing shampoo commercials.] The Braves would [add three more in the third/have all their runs taken away by the umps] on a comical series of events that would include [a passed ball by Mitch Garver and a walk that haunted/skydiving clowns accidently being released over Target Field.] In the top of the sixth, Ozzie Albies [continued being a pain in the ass and hit his second solo shot/ran off to Canada with one of the clowns.]
On the bright side, the Twins did turn another triple play in third.
Meanwhile, the Braves left-hander, Max Fried, [shut down the Twins for five innings/woke up late and didn’t make it to the game] before finally allowing Minnesota to score three runs in a sting of base hits, which was ended when Jonathan Schoop [grounded out/hit literally the last baseball at Target Field into the bleachers.]
Because its [the Twins bullpen/a literal pen full of bulls, that somehow throw baseballs] the Braves would add two more runs in each of the eighth and ninth innings. [Kohl Stewart/a literal Texas Longhorn] [gave up a two-run dong to/dropped a cow pie at the feet of] Ronald Acuna in the eighth inning, and followed that by giving up two more on a single by Johan [Camago/Santana] in the ninth, to take Atlanta to [a total of 11 runs/a field trip to Valley Fair.]
The Twins did [attempt to rally/take a nap on the field] in the bottom of the ninth, but it was too little, too late. They scored four more to bring the final to 11-7. This includes Miguel Sano’s [20th home run of the year/first home run hit while standing on his head.]
With Cleveland winning the first game of their double header, and leading in the second game, this tightens the race for the AL Central and makes the upcoming head-to-head series much more important.
Miguel Sano: 2-5, Bomba
Eddie Rosario: 2-5, RBI
Jake Cave: 2-4, RBI
Kohl Stewart: Look, he gave up a bunch of runs, but he saved the rest of the pen.
Martin Perez: 6 ER
Nelson Cruz: 0-4
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