Cleveland 7, Twins 5: Don’t call it a comeback (because it wasn’t)

Starting this very important series with the Cleveland Howisthatstillyournameits2019s, the Twins were banking on an appearance by Good Gibby™ to keep them in the game.

But unfortunately blogboss TJ was behind his payment of wolfsbane and lamb hearts to the coven of witches he hired to grant Kyle Gibson preternatural ball throwing skills, so that did not happen.

Cleveland got on the board first when Yasiel Puig tripled to lead off the 2nd and later scored on an errant pick off throw by Gibson. Cool. Meanwhile, the Twins offense took its time figuring out good pitcher and man who has to pee really bad, Mike Clevinger. In the 4th Miguel Sanó got hit by a pitch to start a mini 2-out rally, with Luis Arraez and Marwin Gonzalez following with back to back singles, each plating a run. Before that, however, bad things happened. Nelson Cruz hurt himself swinging and was removed from the game, he’s listed as day to day. (Get well soon, Nelson!) Before that, however, more bad things happened. Cleveland scored 3 runs in their 4th in part due to back to back leadoff walks which predictably did in fact haunt.

I once tried to make an MS Paint drawing of walks still haunting an aged Twins pitcher but never used it because it is awful and drawing windows is hard, but because depression is keeping me from being entertaining I’m using it now as a hail marry.

The Cleves scored 2 more the very next inning due to a Jose Ramirez double that took place after a single and two walks. They wouldn’t score runs in the 6th, 7th and 8th thanks to solid relieving by Zack Littell and Ryne Harper.

In the bottom of the 8th the Twins did their darnedest to make it interesting, scoring 3 runs off of a bevy of Cleveland relievers who came in to replace Clevinger. Big hits by Jorge Polanco and Sanó brought the Twins within one, but they couldn’t quite nab that last run.

In the 9th Trevor May have immediately gave up a homer to Tyler Naquin, or Trevor May not have, because solipsism means everything might be an illusion that I made up. Or I’m an illusion you made up!

Baseball!

Anyway it didn’t matter the Twins didn’t score more runs which means they lose.

Three more games in the series, keep your spirits up!

Here’s a picture of TC Bear holding kittens.

ROBOTIC ROLL CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today’s Comment of the Gamethread is JOEL HERNANDEZ?????????????

!!!!!!ＪＯＥＬ ＧＥＴＳ ＣＯＭＭＥＮＴ ＯＦ ＴＨＥ ＧＡＭＥＴＨＲＥＡＤ ＡＬＥＲＴ!!!!!

EVACUATE THE THREAD THIS IS NOT A DRILL