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Twins 10, Tigers 5: Sano Exotic (simulated)

The first baseman’s bat brought proved to the Tigers who is boss...

Wild Animal Sanctuary In Colorado Home To Almost 40 Tigers From Wildly Popular Documentary Of Joe Exotic “Tiger King” Photo by Marc Piscotty/Getty Images

Today’s lineups:

MIN: Garver C, Polanco SS, Donaldson 3B, Rosario LF, Sano 1B, Gonzalez RF, Kepler DH, Arraez 2B, Buxton CF, Bailey P

DET: Maybin RF, Reyes CF, Schoop 2B, Cron 1B, Stewart DH, Candelario 3B, Demeritte LF, Romine C, Goodrum SS, Boyd P

Like I wasn’t going to make a Tiger King reference the first time the Twins played Detroit? You all are just lucky (or unlucky) that Mauer retired and I couldn’t make a Joe Mauer Exotic joke. Hell, someone with some photoshop skills PLEASE make this mashup. How much further can I take this? That bitch Jamey Carroll Baskin?

Anyway, the Twins scored a run the fun bomba way, but mostly scored the old fashioned way tonight. The one bomba was a third inning solo shot by professional bringer of rain, Josh Donaldson. He took a 3-2 pitch from the notoriously homer-prone Boyd and made it into a 366 foot flyball to left field. That was the first score of the game, but nowhere near the last.

The Tigers took one back in the fourth. Jonathan Schoop, apparently remembering how to hit at Target Field (I think he forgot a couple times last year) hit a single, and after C.J. Cron struck out, Christian Stewart hit another single. How sad would it be to have those guys for your 3-4-5 hitters? Anyway, after a flyball out, Travis Demeritte, who I’m not sure isn’t a fictional character, doubled both of them in to take a 2-1 lead.

In the top of the fifth, things got even worse for the the Twins. Niko Goodrum (speaking of good rum, that’s what I’ve been drinking tonight) reached on a E5, because this game really doesn’t like Donaldson’s defense. Victor Reyes would bring him in with a 2-run homer, a no-doubter off the suddenly-mortal Homer Bailey. Forget Bailey’s astoundingly good performances thus far, here is the guy we expected, letting the Twins get into a 4-1 hole.

Thank the deity of your choice that these Twins don’t go down without a fight. In their half of the fifth, they rallied. Mitch Garver and Jorge Polanco started the inning with a pair of singles, just what you want from the guys at the top of the order, right? Eddie Rosario hit a ball that went past the third baseman and into foul territory for a double, pushing up each runner a couple bases, which meant Garver scored. Miguel Sano would then plate the first of several runners for the night by hitting a 5-3 grounder that Jorge Polanco somehow scampered home on. I guess Gardy was in the mood to trade runs for outs or something.

Minnesota finally took the lead back, for keeps, in the bottom of the sixth. Luis Arraez and Byron Buxton got on with back-to-back one-out singles, and were joined on the basepaths by Mitch Garver, who wore a fastball. Boyd’s night ended there, and new pitcher Bryan Garcia walked Jorge Polanco and brought in a run. Donaldson added an RBI and started the carousal with a single, and after a Rosario K, Miguel Sano picked up RBI #2 and #3 for the night on a double. The Twins now held a 7-4 lead they would not surrender.

Homer Bailey came back out for the seventh. I’m trying for realism here, but we all know Rocco would have sent him to the showers before this point. Anyway, he got the first two outs, and then gave up a dong to Jonathan Schoop. Like I said, he must have remembered how we bomba for a night. Trevor May got the last out of the inning, and the entire Twins bullpen kept the Tigers off the board.

The Twins added three more runs in the eighth inning against baseball’s best spoonerism, Buck Farmer. Josh Donaldson started with a one-out single, but got erased by an unassisted fielder’s choice at second, putting Eddie Rosario at first with two outs. Miguel Sano and Marwin Gonzalez both drew walks to load the bases. David McKay relieved Farmer, and promptly walked Max Kepler. A Luis Arraez single would bring in the other two inherited runners and sum up the scoring for the evening.


  • The Twins bullpen didn’t allow a single hit in 2.1 innings of work, mostly by Trevor May (but also by Matt Wisler, because reasons.)
  • Even after giving up five runs in 6.2 innings tonight, Homer Bailey still has a 2.73 ERA.


Miguel Sano: 1-4, 3 RBI, BB
Luis Arraez: 3-5, 2 RBI
Josh Donaldson: 3-5, 2 RBI, HR


No Duds, Twins win!

Tomorrow: Home against the Tigers at 1:10pm (look for the recap around 5)

MIN 12-8 —
CHW 11-9 1
CLE 11-10 1 1/2
DET 9-10 2 1/2
KCR 8-11 3 1/2