Monday Morning Minnesota: Hrbek’s Favorite Farts Edition

Previously on TwinkieTown:

• The Simulated Twins keep on keepin’ on, as TJ recaps another one for your fake team reading pleasure. Unlike TJ, both the team I am simulating AND the recaps themselves are fake and do not exist.
• Jonathan wonders if Max Kepler could be the greatest european-born MLB player. He definitely has the best european-born MLB player butt. Like, just saying. Guy is THICC.
• Ben began ranking the best Twins position players since 2000 and YOU WON’T BELIEVE #1! Partially because this part doesn’t get to #1 yet.

Elsewhere in Twins Territory:

• MLBTR’s Connon Bryne writes about the oft unsung Twins slugger, Mitch Garver. Appreciate Mitch, or I’ll throw you in a ditch. Give props to Garver or I’ll bury you in insect larva.
• Twins Daily thinks that if the season is indeed canceled, we may have seen the last of Eddie Rosario. Once we had 3 Eds, soon we may have none.
• The Twins are making masks out of left-over homer hankies! Presumably because they read our blog.
• ESPN’s Tim Kurkjian looks back at a moment in Kent Hrbek history. You really want to read this one because it contains the following sentence: ““Herbie brought along a tape recording of his favorite farts.’’
• May me all strive to live our lives as fully as Kent Hrbek.

Around the World in Bases and Balls:

• If you are wondering what the MLB season may look like, Korea’s top league is looking to resume next month, as cases of COVID-19 continue to fall. Personally I wouldn’t hold my breath for America to get its act together quick enough to salvage a season, but hope dies hard.
• I always personally thought Kenny Lofton deserved more than to be a one-and-done in Hall of Fame voting, and Neil Paine of FiveThirtyEight is here to right that wrong.
• The Ringer takes a look at some of the strangest and funniest BBRef pages. Now I can’t use any of these for Old-Timey Baseballer, THANKS GUYS.
• Missing a season means its less likely certain players reach certain milestones. For instance, no 2020 reduces Nelson Cruz’s shot at hitting 500 dingers by over 20 percent!

Today’s soundtrack is a live anime soundtrack performance because I am both incredibly uncool and running out of music to link here.

Hope at least one of these links was worth your time!