Cleveland 2, Twins 0: The Bieber Dam

The virtual fans rendered on some FOX exec’s Amiga didn’t have a lot to cheer for these evening, and likely started wishing they had stayed home to awkwardly clip through things in the comfort of their own couches.

Cleveland starter Shane Bieber displayed an historic performance, striking out 13 Twinkies over 8 innings of work, and tying the record for most strikeouts over 2 starts to start the season with 27. Not a lot even the Bomba Squad can do with that! (Also not a whole lot a game recap blogger can do with that.)

José Berríos had a solid, though sometimes shaky, outing. Though only giving up 3 hits in 5 innings, one of those hits was a 2-run homer off that bat of Twin killer Francisco Lindor who took a 2-0 mistake over the fence to score the only runs of the game.

Zack Littell relived Berríos in the 6th, and got into a littell little trouble before walking Domingo Santana to load the bases with 1-out and then inducing the classic 1-2-3 double play.

In their half of the 6th, the Twins put up their best threat of the evening when Byron Buxton and Max Kepler hit back to back 1-out singles. Josh Donaldson had a lengthy battle with Bieber, but ultimately went down on strikes. Jorge Polanco lined out, inning over.

Presumably then Take me Out to the Ball Game was performed by the cast of ReBoot while virtual fans went to refill their virtual drinks and empty their virtual bladders.

Littell pitched the 7th, while Lewis Thorpe got the 8th and 9th, keeping the team in the game for the 9th when Bieber was finally out of the game. Unfortunately Cleveland’s James Karinchak wasn’t any easier to hit and the Twins dropped the opener.

However, at least we can find solace in the fact that we are not virtual fans forever stuck doing one of 3 animations while wearing one of 4 approved shirts. Just blending into the background (or blending INTO Nelson Cruz) eternally unseen. Like tears in the rain.

STUDS: Twins Bullpen!

DUDS: Twins Offense!

REAL HUMAN ROLL CALL!!