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Game 20: Royals at Twins

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Neither Jake pitcher in this game is nicknamed “The Snake,” alas.

Jack Directs “Jakes”
If you have not seen this movie, then my advice is to not see this movie. It is a bad movie.
Photo by Liaison

Scheduled Time: 7:10 Central. Vegas Line: -180 MIN/KC +165

Weather: 76° and Rain City in forecast

Opponent’s excellent SB site: Royals Review

TV: FSN. Radio: Gladden skipped Sturgis this year, I think

To the shock and amazement of all, I was able to discover absolutely nothing new about Royals starter Jake Junis that I didn’t write last Friday. He throws sliders. His mound opponent will be Jake Odorizzi, who scuffled through three innings in his first 2020 start last Saturday. Last year’s digits:

Since there’s nothing new about Junis to report, I’m going to discuss Wisconsin, whose Brewers the Twins played this week and are scheduled to play again soon. John had a stats breakdown here. I’m interested in the same matter I am every year when the Twins play Milwaukee: why do y’all hate Wisconsin?

News for those who don’t know — I’m not originally from here! I’m from Portland, where it was terrifying/kinda cool to see a volcano explode on the horizon that one time, everybody in our apartment complex gathered on the hill to stare at it for hours. (The conversation, if I recall, was basically “wow.” “It really did blow up, that’s...” And, “wow.”)

For me, why dislike Wisconsin? I think it’s just as decent a place as Minnesota. My mom grew up there, in Chippewa Falls, outside of Eau Clare (that’s French for Water Clare, the liquid ghost named Clare, this may not be true). When I first moved here in 2000, I called my mom back in Portland to complain about the cold — it was +15° or so, that’s insanely cold to a Portlander. “How could you stand this stuff growing up here?”

“Trust me,” she replied. “The day will come, and it will come soon, when you think of zero as warm.”

As always, Mom didn’t lie.

So, I like Wisconsin! I think it’s pretty cool! Our closest friends have a lake cabin there. As is typical with such things, it was first built by a grandparent, started off as four walls and a roof, only subsequent homemade improvements have added gilded luxuries like running water and electricity. The lake is called “Sand Lake” although in recent years the beach is completely gone due to rising water. I still like being there, though.

These friends live right down the street in Saint Paul, it’s a ten-minute walk, yet I enjoy the hour-long drive to Wisconsin to hang and drink and cook and comment on the obviously idiot people in their 20s practicing atrocious boat safety. (Reminiscent of Oregon beach parties in my 20s when somebody’d get the brilliant idea to walk on tidewater driftwood going “hey, everybody, check this out!” Don’t ever walk on tidewater driftwood.)

Anyhoo, I like Wisconsin. I think it’s cool. If y’all think that disqualifies me from being a true Minnesotan, then I’ll submit this account of snowmelt basement flooding as my bonafides. Game against Missouri follows (which you can absolutely hear from 830 in a cabin on Sand Lake, I’ve done it).

Apparently. even my backyard zucchini thinks Wisconsin is cool, it certainly likes Packers colors:

Or maybe it’s an Oakland A’s fan.

Today's Lineups

Whit Merrifield - CF Max Kepler - RF
Jorge Soler - DH Jorge Polanco - SS
Salvador Perez - C Nelson Cruz - DH
Hunter Dozier - RF Eddie Rosario - LF
Ryan O'Hearn - 1B Marwin Gonzalez - 3B
Maikel Franco - 3B Mitch Garver - C
Alex Gordon - LF Luis Arraez - 2B
Adalberto Mondesi - SS Miguel Sano - 1B
Nicky Lopez - 2B Lord Byron - CF
Jakob Junis - RHP Jake Odorizzi - RHP