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White Sox 4, Twins 3: Are you there Robot Umps? It’s me, Josh Donaldson

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Or how I learned to get mad and start kicking dirt.

MLB: Minnesota Twins at Chicago White Sox David Banks-USA TODAY Sports

The day started out full of promise, with Kenta Maeda looking like an ace and Byron Buxton looking like a GOAT, but ultimately like how all electrons eventually move to the point of greatest entropy, all Twins teams eventually move to the point of greatest making me sad.

If I had a ton of bucks for every Buxton homerun lately, I would have to invest in a wheelbarrow, and on that notion the first run of the game was a Buxton solo shot in the top of the second. In the bottom of the second, Ryan Jeffers also hit a dong. No wait sorry, it seems I mistyped. He got hit IN the dong by a foul ball. Okay, still 1-0.

However in the bottom of the 4th, Jose Abreu would tie the game up with a homerun to center off of the first mistake Maeda made all day. Buxton would pick up his pitcher in the 5th with ANOTHER dinger, thus turning the game into a homerun version of Pong. A Dong Pong, if you will.

Not to be out dong ponged, Edwin Encarnacion donged his own pong in the bottom of the inning, tying the game up yet again. Maeda gave up two 2-out singles later in the inning before managing to get out of the jam, but this seemed to signal the end of his dominance for the day.

Josh Donaldson, the bringer of rain, the scion of storms, Thor’s chosen himself would, you guessed it, hit a solo bast to give the Twins the lead again. He would then add Earth Bending to his repertoire and take one step closer to becoming the Avatar, by dragging dirt all over home plate because the home plate umpire upset him earlier with a bad call. The Bringer of Dirt was then summarily ejected. This wouldn’t be the last bad call of the day.

Matt Wisler came in to pitch the 6th, loaded the bases with only 1 out, and was luckily bailed out by Trevor May and no damage came. This would not be the case in the 7th. :(

Tyler Clippard started his work by giving up a lead off single to Jarrod Dyson who then slowed the game down to a crawl by being really good at stealing bases. Clippard would get the next 2 outs (with Dyson indeed stealing 2nd and then advancing to 3rd.) before walking Yasmani Grandal on 4 pitches.

Rocco: Oh Romo, Romo. Wherefore art thou Romo?

Romo: Here I am.

Sergio Romo can in to try get the Twins out of the inning, but the Sox tied the game up when Jose Abreu beat out an infield single. Elloy Jimenez then doubled in a run, and the Twins seemed to deflate.

Nelson Cruz would get a two out single in the 8th, but the inning would end after Eddie Rosario grounded out. Eddie probably should have walked, but thanks to some #Umpball that didn’t happen. Robot umps when.

Marwin Gonzalez also managed a 2-out single in the 9th, but nothing happened with it and the Twins lost, and probably lost the division with it.

ANYWAY

STUDS: Byron Buxton

DUDS: The Bullpen (Besides May, ilu Trevor.)

ROBOT ROLL CALL!: