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Gabbing w/ Gamble: Ejection Mad Libs Edition

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In honor of Josh Dirt’s home plate two-step

Minnesota Twins v Chicago White Sox Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Welcome back to another Friday discussion. While yesterday’s game went poorly, we were able to witness a truly meme-worthy moment at the courtesy of our resident hot-head, Josh Donaldson. I’m sure we all have our own opinions on the incident in question, ranging from “fun and awesome” to “stupid and hurtful”, but I’m not so concerned with that. Let’s throw it back to our childhoods and do some mad-libs!

I’m going to present a few situations, with blanks. Your job is to copy and paste the situation into the comment section, and fill in the blanks however you choose. I’ll also be writing my own answers within the article. Let’s get started!

A. During the seventh-inning stretch last night, a(n) [adjective] situation occurred. [Twins player name] emerged from the dugout after [verb ending in -ing] in the top of the inning and barked “[insult]” at the first-base umpire. After promptly getting ejected from the game, [same Twins player last name] proceeded to [verb] all over first base.

My answer: During the seventh-inning stretch last night, a humorous situation occurred. Eddie Rosario emerged from the dugout after tripping over Angel Hernandez’s ego in the top of the inning and barked “you pour milk into the bowl before your cereal” at the first-base umpire. After promptly getting ejected from the game, Rosario proceeded to deposit the entirety of his clothing all over first base.

B. Nelson Cruz found himself mixed up in a(n) [adjective] situation during the game today. Prior to the [inning number], Cruz was [verb ending in -ing] in the on-deck circle, and umpire [your least favorite umpire name] took issue with it. After asking Cruz to stop, Cruz [verb, past-tense] in his general direction and was given the hook.

My answer: Nelson Cruz found himself mixed up in a ridiculous situation during the game today. Prior to the first inning, Cruz was playing “Three Blind Mice” on his harmonica in the on-deck circle, and umpire Cowboy Joe West took issue with it. After asking Cruz to stop, Cruz hocked a fat loogy in his general direction and was given the hook.

C. [Twins player name] got himself thrown out of yesterday’s game in a(n) [adjective] manner. After taking issue with [opposing player name]’s over-the-top bat flip following an RBI [type of hit], [same Twins player last name] proceeded to blast a [home run synonym] of mammoth proportions and gallop around the bases mounted upon his bat, as if riding a(n) [animal]. Upon reaching home plate, Angel Hernandez promptly ejected him.

My answer: Ehire Adrianza got himself thrown out of yesterday’s game in a royal manner. After taking issue with Edwin Encarnacion’s over-the-top bat flip following an RBI bunt single, Adrianza proceeded to blast a dong pong (shoutout Tawny) of mammoth proportions and gallop around the bases mounted upon his bat, as if riding an ostrich. Upon reaching home plate, Angel Hernandez promptly ejected him.

D. [Twins player name] found himself taking an early shower during the game yesterday. Upon being called out on a close play at third, [same Twins player last name] proceeded to charge at [umpire or opposing player name] and shout “[insult]” before [adverb] kissing him on the [body part]. This was deemed unacceptable by home plate umpire [different umpire name], who quickly kicked him out of the contest.

My answer: Max Kepler found himself taking an early shower during the game yesterday. Upon being called out on a close play at third, Kepler proceeded to charge at Bryce Harper and shout “your hair isn’t even that good” before aggressively kissing him on the lips. This was deemed unacceptable by home plate umpire Tim Tschida, who quickly kicked him out of the contest.

There they are. Let me know what you think of my answers, and present your own! I can’t wait to see the comedic chops of the Twinkie Town community on full display. I think we could all use a little comic relief after yesterday’s game to take us into the weekend.