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Twinkie Town wordsmith laments lack of “J. A. Happ” anagrams

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A Twinkie Town exclusive about Twinkie Town.

Miami Marlins v New York Yankees
Good luck.
Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

1. YOU, the Anagramancer, stare down the invading MANTICORE: Will you ROMANCE IT (turn to 123), give it CREMATION (turn to 213), or summon EROTIC MAN (turn to 312)?
-Stephen Wort, 2017 Lyttle Lytton Contest winner

For year after year, Twinkie Town readers have been delighted by the whimsical amusements of anagrams and spoonerisms of the names of incoming Twins.

This year, that may be thwarted.

Resident Twinkie Town wordsmith Sam Ganar has been working himself into a frenzy in an attempt to create a feasible anagram of the newly-signed J. A. Happ.

“What do they want from me - ‘a PJ, a pH’? There’s nothing entertaining in that,” Ganar said.

Ganar usually presents an appropriate anagram in only minutes, taking little time to dish out “Hell Baroness“ when the Twins signed Hansel Robles.

“I’ve been working on the 40-man roster, and it’s usually the names with the high-point Scrabble letters that boggle me,” Ganar said. “Now, ‘Jordan Balazovic’? That’s been a fun challenge. But with Happ, I’ve only got six letters to work with, and everything else has been on hold.”

Ganar did admit that, no matter what he does, there’s one bit of wordplay he can never hold a candle too.

“I’m not often into spoonerisms,” he admitted. “But I’ll always laugh at ‘Dat Pean’.”