Byron, Josh... I’m sorry. Alex, Andrelton... I’m trying to think of something nice to say.

The Yankees have been eliminated. This is good. The Red Sox eliminated them. This is not that good. While the Red Sox aren’t Houston, given Alex Cora as their manager, they share a lot of Houston-like qualities. This meant that the Red Sox-Yankee matchup was bound to provide the satisfaction that would follow the elimination of one of them, but the sorrow that it would allow one of them to move on. Is that win-win? Or lose-lose? Glass half full or glass half empty?

As I contemplate this conundrum, I thought I’d begin my apologies for some of the things I’ve said and written during the course of the last Twins season. For loyal Twinkie Town readers, this might conjure up visions of a seriously long article, but I assure you, my apologies, like my memory, more generally, will be selective. Given the general malaise and general lack of achievement of this year’s team, there have been many who have suffered the sometimes less than outrageous slings and arrows of our criticism. Much of our criticism has been entirely warranted. Any time a team enters the season with high expectations, coming off a division championship (albeit if sort of a fake 60 game season), and is out of the hunt by June, criticism is not outrageous.

Still, in fairness, it’s not like I’ve had such a good year of writing, either. Plenty of mistakes were made. This is my opportunity to apologize for some of that…if only, Falvey and Levine, might take this hint and apologize to us for what they have wrought over last winter, and vow to do better this winter.

First, I apologize to Byron Buxton. Before the season began, I lamented his injury history and suggested he be traded at high value before he hurt himself again. He then hurt himself again. At first, I felt vindicated. Then, over time, I came to feel…wrong. I’ve come to realize the error of my ways. Byron Buxton may be the single most valuable player on any team in MLB. With him, the Twins are competitive. Without him, the Twins are…well, were….kind of hideous. While he might bring much in a trade, it’s difficult to imagine that he could bring back the value he brings to the team.

So, while I have grave doubts, bordering on near certainty that the Twins won’t actually re-sign him, since his market value is going to be well above the market they tend to shop in, they should! He’s the man. He also seems like he’s a good human, and there should be some value in that as well.

Second, Josh Donaldson. I’m sorry. I think I hated you for most of the season. I’m not even entirely sure why. Maybe it’s your hamstring…I do sort of hate that. I mean, seriously, the first hit of the year! Anyway, you clashed with Arraez once or twice, and I’m quite fond of Arraez, so maybe it was that. Maybe it’s the hair. Maybe…anyway, the point is…I’m sorry. You’re a good player and bring value to the team.

Most of all, your interview last week in which you complimented Ryan and Ober but said the team needed to go out and get some front-line pitching, made me want to entirely forgive you. You were thinking what so many of us have been thinking all along, that the front office needs to get some quality starting pitching (and relief pitching), and that shows your devotion to the cause. Having the courage to say it, and challenge the front office to do it…makes me no longer hate you…I may even like you. In any case, I’m sorry for the things I’ve thought, some of which I’ve said, and even a few I may have written.

Third, Alex Colome. Never mind, I’m not sorry.

Fourth, Andrelton Simmons. Never mind, not only am I not sorry, you are now a free agent, meaning, as a Twins fan, I may never utter your name again, whether in vain or in pain. That, is as it should be. My only regret, is….nope…not gonna do it….see….I’m rising above it, he’s gone, I’m over it.

There it is. Two apologies. “Twin” apologies, if you will. An apt summary of this past season. Short, limited, unsatisfactory, and filled with regrets…yet hopeful for a better tomorrow.