Monday Morning Minnesota: Astudillo haymakered a guy and other incredible tales

After missing a week due to me going on the wild ride of starting new OCD medication, Monday Morning Minnesota is back and better than, well, better than probably one other specific point in time, I assume. I dunno, here’s some links.

Previously on Twinkie Town:

• Put on your sleuthing caps, because Zach Koenig brought us into the mystery and intrigue of some weird BABIP shit in 1993. This cold case is getting hot again, so get in ahead of the curve, because I assume a Netflix Docudrama isn’t far behind.
• The Twins did a lot of roster shit, and Brandon Brooks collected it all in one convenient post. I don’t have anything funny to say about this.
• Why is JAKE CAVE though?
• WHY?
• Kamie Roesler presented the honestly brilliant idea of Player-Manager Nelson Cruz, an idea so crazy it just might work.

Elsewhere in Twins Territory:

• Twins Daily’s Seth Stohs made the argument for bringing Niko Goodrum back into the fold, a move I support simply because “Niko Goodrum” is just a brilliant name. Start bringing back all the Ex-Twin Tigers in some sort of reverse double migration to confuse everyone.
• Over at Puckett’s Pond, Spencer Seguin (Depressingly) explores 3 potential Byron Buxton deals.
• Just give Buxton money, Falvine, wtf.
• The STrib has a loving retrospective for Willians Astudillo. May he find peace and tranquility elsewhere.
• Oh nevermind, I guess he found someone’s face with his fist in Venezuela and got suspended!

• When looking for a dong, surely we all are looking for the longest, most impressive dongs available. Well, here is a video of the longest, most pleasing, Twins Dongs of 2021.

Around the World in Bases and Balls:

• Deadspin talked to (old friend!) R.A Dickey about the future of the Knuckleball.
• Japan’s Seiya Suzuki will be posted this morning, and while he isn’t really a target for the Twins, he’s an interesting player to keep an eye on.

Today’s soundtrack is Zool. Remember Zool? No? Okay. Just me, then.